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**Greenday** · 07-02-2008, 11:58 AM

As long as everybody is willing, and everyone involved knows about each other, and doesn't care, I don't care. You want to be one of 10 spouses competing for the love of your life? Go for it. Not my cup of tea, but it's not my problem.

**BlaqueKatt** · 07-02-2008, 12:18 PM

Originally posted by Slytovhand View Post

Should polygamy be legal?

yes, but with qualifiers.*

Originally posted by Slytovhand View Post

My thoughts are that what a person or persons choose to do in their own homes that has no real effect on anyone else is up to them.

a former coworker of mine had two "wives" one he was legally married to(she was on disability), the other was perfectly healthy. The perfectly healthy one has a child, and since she is not legally married to him, the state says she's a single mother, and even though the three of them can well afford to support the child(the have enough money for MMORPGS(3 accounts each), Cable with all the pay channels(over $150/month) and about 4 different extracurricular activities/lessons, yet the child's mother is on public assistance.
So what they're doing does have an effect on me.

*I'd say the qualifiers should be if you are going to be legally married you should have to prove that you can afford to support yourselves and any children you may have(remember the guy convicted in Utah had 8 wives-all on public assistance, and also "married" several of his step daughters). All the wives/husbands must be of legal age(of course), and they must ot be related to you(no children, stepchildren, cousins, etc.)

**~~rahmota~~** · 07-02-2008, 02:50 PM

Speaking as someone who has lived in a co-monogamous relationship for the past three years yes it should be legal. A triad (which is what we called what we had) can be more stable, better able to deal with crisis and dealing with the needs of the children and supportive and loving than some "normal" one man-one woman marriages I have seen.

I will agree that it should be restricted, like all marriages should be, to consenting adults, that are not closely related. As for the finincial responsibility thing unless you make that for all marriages as well then there should not be any other restrictions.

I say had because we fell victim to the hatred,intolerance and ignorance of those who dislike seeing someone else have something not "socially acceptable" and the CPS and my exstepson worked together to drive us apart.

**AFPheonix** · 07-02-2008, 04:15 PM

Sure, if it includes polyandry in there, too. Hardly ever see that around here.

**~~rahmota~~** · 07-03-2008, 01:13 AM

Sure, if it includes polyandry in there, too. Hardly ever see that around here.
Today 10:50 AM

Yeah sure why not. Whatever floats your boat.

**IDrinkaRum** · 07-03-2008, 03:27 AM

OMG!!! I'd be right there, signing up if I can practice polyandry.

Actually, a friend of mine and I are both fantasizing about up and leaving our current hubs (not going to do it per se, just imagining) and we realized this: We each need a wife & we need at least 3 husbands (1 for the cooking, 1 for the cleaning and at least 1 for the bedroom

). The wife would do the errands we don't want to do. *le sigh*

Ahem ... yes, well ... back to reality.

**the_std** · 07-03-2008, 06:48 AM

Well, technically, polygamy is polyandry AND polygyny, so the OP is inclusive of both.

Yay!

**Seshat** · 07-03-2008, 10:00 AM

I would like to see 'civil families' of any number of adults in any configuration. The family thus formed would have the civil rights of a current family, and also the civil responsibilities.

They'd be a family for tax purposes (thus having a bit of tax relief) but also for welfare purposes (thus preventing them from rorting the welfare system as BlaqueKatt mentioned).

They'd be next of kin as a family is, enabling them to be with each other in hospital. And as a family, they would have responsibility for any children of any part of the family unit.

And I don't see a need for these 'civil families' to be based on who is having sex with whom. If a son is carer for his ailing mother, or a mother carer for her disabled son, they may as well have the legal protections of being a family!

I don't have all the bugs worked out, so yes, there are several gaping and obvious holes in the plan.

**BlaqueKatt** · 07-03-2008, 03:32 PM

Originally posted by rahmota View Post

As for the finincial responsibility thing unless you make that for all marriages as well then there should not be any other restrictions.

it's significantly more difficult for a two-person "family" to get any kind of assistance-even when my ex-husband and I were seperated pending divorce, I couldn't work, he wasn't paying support but because I was married my spouse's income was taken into account-so I got nothing to support myself and my child-I had to have my mother's boyfriend take care of us-while my previous coworker in a stable relationship got food stamps, free medical care for herself and her child-while one was on disability, and two worked full time(they're still getting all that plus rent assistance-I had no income and got nothing)

**Saydrah** · 07-29-2008, 07:55 PM

I'm "wired that way" so I'm all for it. Let people marry whomever they like in however many quantities they like.

It is natural to me that different needs be met by different people in my life. For others, all their relationship needs can be met by one person, or they simply aren't comfortable with or interested in a polyamorous relationship. That's fine. Neither type of relationship is intrinsically better or worse than the other in any way.

**~~Flyndaran~~** · 08-02-2008, 07:52 AM

I think my views might not be the norm.
I don't think polygamy should be legal...
Because I think laws should have nothing to do with marriage.
Marriage is a personal and religious issue. It began as a kind of coporate merger system and a way to legitimize offspring.
Consenting adults should have no one intruding into their bedrooms end of sentence. We may find adult incest icky, but it's sill not any of our business.
I find man on man action icky, but it's not any of my business.

**BlaqueKatt** · 08-02-2008, 04:17 PM

Originally posted by Flyndaran View Post

Marriage is a personal and religious issue.

the definition of marriage disagrees with you:

Marriage

1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

wed·ding

1.
1. The act of marrying.
2. The ceremony or celebration of a marriage.

A marriage is a civil contract, a wedding is a religious construct.

**Seshat** · 08-02-2008, 04:54 PM

Originally posted by BlaqueKatt View Post

it's significantly more difficult for a two-person "family" to get any kind of assistance
. . . <snippage> . . .
while my previous coworker in a stable relationship got food stamps, free medical care for herself and her child-while one was on disability, and two worked full time(they're still getting all that plus rent assistance-I had no income and got nothing)

In the system I envisage, all of that is handled. Families are families, and are treated as such by the welfare system, health insurances, the law, the child support/child care system, and so on. Non-families are not families, and are considered so as well.

I just don't know how you tell that group A are just a bunch of people living in the same house because of ridiculously high rents, and group B are a poly family.

But then, it looks like our welfare system can't really tell either, even with only couples being considered possible families.

**Scamper** · 08-15-2008, 03:04 AM

I'd tell you I think, but that's a felony (MCL 750.441) j/k
I think it should be legal, that all parties should be aware of all others, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Not sure I'd try it tho', I seem to have a hard enough time finding *one* person to marry let alone multiple.
hmm, I seem to have committed a felony on the internet. oh well.

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