Choice of where to get married

[Rapscallion]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8562611.stm

Short version is that I didn't realise that in the UK you couldn't get married at a church unless you attended it regularly or used to.

The bit that bugged me is that the MP had to do this. The church could have made an internal change, yet it failed to do so.

I really think he shouldn't have started down this route. Church and state are supposed to be separate. If the church shouldn't interfere with government, then it should work the other way around as well.

Rapscallion

[Ree]

Aside from all the Church and State stuff, if you don't even go to a church, why would you want to be married in it?

If a church has absolutely no significance to you other than the fact that it's a pretty backdrop for the wedding pictures, why bother?

[crashhelmet]

If a church has absolutely no significance to you other than the fact that it's a pretty backdrop for the wedding pictures, why bother?

QFT

What I really find odd about this is there was a law controlling it to begin with. I'd think that any church would be glad to accept the money to host and perform the service.

CH

[Rapscallion]

Aside from all the Church and State stuff, if you don't even go to a church, why would you want to be married in it?

I have to admit that one escaped me. I'm more concerned with the separation of church and state that's supposed to exist, so I didn't see that part.

I suppose it's one of those traditions. However, in the article it points to allowing people who used to live there and moved away in these days of highly mobile populations to marry in a church they used to attend. I think that's the way they were aiming it.

What I really find odd about this is there was a law controlling it to begin with. I'd think that any church would be glad to accept the money to host and perform the service.

Laws to control it? I think they were internal laws within the church, and they could have altered it. I have no idea why the MP thought it necessary to intervene. Not sure why they thought they had any real authority over a religious institution save for clear and serious breaches of the law. This was just an internal matter.

As to why they wouldn't just marry anyone, I have to admit that while I don't share religious beliefs, I do hate pick-n-mix practitioning. "I'll believe this bit, but not that bit. I'll get married in a lovely archaic church, but I won't be back until my funeral, unless I have a child I want to christen."

Rapscallion

[AdminAssistant]

There are some non-religious people who get married by a priest in a church in order to appease parents, grandparents, or other people who don't believe you're married until you're married by God. At least in America, it's hard to find an affordable, non-church, indoor venue for a wedding.

[Boozy]

At least in America, it's hard to find an affordable, non-church, indoor venue for a wedding.

Almost impossible here, too! My husband and I are not church-goers, so we really didn't feel right getting married in a church.

It took us forever to find a place indoors.

Then it took us forever to find a decent non-religious officiant.

I can see why so many couples end up getting married in a church despite the fact that they aren't attendees. If the church will have them, it's easier.

[HYHYBT]

If a church has absolutely no significance to you other than the fact that it's a pretty backdrop for the wedding pictures, why bother?

For starters, it might not be of "no significance." Perhaps it's the church your family in the area attends; perhaps, while you don't go often and might not even *have* a regular church, you're still Christian and having your wedding in a church would be more meaningful; perhaps for logistical reasons you're getting married far from where you live and, again, still find it important to marry in a church, especially one of your own denomination, etc.

For example: I went more than ten years without going to any church unless I was invited, averaging maybe twice a year. This was because I was working late Saturday nights and got in the habit of sleeping in Sunday mornings, and of course once I was out of the habit of going I kept on not going. It didn't reflect a change of *beliefs* at all (though a change in priorities of belief has made finding a new church more difficult.) If, during that time, I'd had any interest in marriage as defined in the state of Georgia(still kicking myself for forgetting that was even on the ballot until the election was over!), and if I'd found a woman fool enough to marry me, it would have been important to marry in a church. For that matter, if I *do* find someone to marry in the foreseeable future, we'll have to travel out-of-state to wed, and while I firmly believe a marriage is between those who wed, and God if they'll allow him in, regardless of who performs the wedding where or whether it's recognized by anyone else, it would still mean a lot for it to be done in a church.

My brother and sister-in-law had an interesting situation: they got married right after graduating college. My side of the family is from north Georgia, and hers from South, right next to the Okefenokee swamp. Her parents' church is... well, I'll just say a bit weird about some things. They couldn't get married there, nor could her parents attend a wedding anywhere else, though they had no objection to its taking place. So Brother and SIL found a church in the area willing to have them (which wasn't easy,) and her parents hosted the reception at their home. But, again, it was important to both B and SIL, and to this side of the family, and to most of her side as well, that it be a church wedding; it was simply impossible logistically to have it at a familiar one. A four-to-six-hour car ride between wedding and reception over a route most of the guests are unfamiliar with and half of them just did the other direction the night before? No way.

Sorry, I'm rambling and probably a dozen other replies have been posted in the meantime.

I can see why so many couples end up getting married in a church despite the fact that they aren't attendees. If the church will have them, it's easier.

If *easy* is what you want, Dad and Stepmom got married in the living room. Not much room for guests, but it was a legal wedding, and it seems to have stuck: I don't remember the date, but that was 1985 and they're still together.

I wish I knew why the UK doesn't just pass a law that the churches and the government go their separate ways. We in the US may have trouble now and then over just how much separation to have between the two, but at least we don't have to get Congress involved over churches' internal affairs.

[fireheart17]

In Australia, I've only attended one wedding in a church and that was more or less because the bride was Catholic.

Despite the fact that out of my immediate and close extended family, my grandmother and spinster aunt are the only two who attend church, they don't seem to mind where their grandchildren/nieces get married. I've attended weddings in the Botanic Gardens, a nice little German restaurant and in a hotel's chapel. None of them were overly religious. While there were plenty of wedding traditions, the only one we didn't do was the throwing of the garter. I'm not sure if it's more an American tradition or if it's just that my family didn't do it for moesty's sake.

[KellyHabersham]

Just a comment I wanted to add.............the church which I work for has been known to allow couples who aren't members hold their wedding/reception at our facilities, the main difference being that they will be charged the "building usage" fees, whereas members would not.

[Cat]

I do not want to get married in a church....I don't believe in the religion, I don't want to lie to the priest, don't want to waste time with a ceremony that means nothing to me.

I want to get married on top of a mountain....and hike to the summit to do so Though my mother probably has some bs dream of me getting married in a church...if so, I'll elope

(my friends are non-relgious, and they got married first in a venue where he booked shows......but did the church one to appease the family.)

[Fryk]

I want to get married on top of a mountain....and hike to the summit to do so

That's gonna be a really LONG version of "Here Comes the Bride".

[BlaqueKatt]

It took us forever to find a place indoors.

Then it took us forever to find a decent non-religious officiant..

my first wedding was in The Wisconsin state capitol building-it's free, you just need a permit from the capital police-which involves filling out a one page form.

The officiant was the chief justice of the supreme court of WI-also free

[Wingates_Hellsing]

That's gonna be a really LONG version of "Here Comes the Bride".

Just get the club mix, that should do it.

[Fryk]

Ah yes, Sir Integra. I always thought that what the Bridal March needed was more record scratching...

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Ah yes, Sir Integra. I always thought that what the Bridal March needed was more record scratching...

Don't forget the minute long segments that are just the same thing slower or faster, I hear those are 'in' right now.