Reclaiming Offensive Words

[anriana]

Words that I've heard reclaimed: Queer, dyke, fag, nigger, oreo, banana, twinkie, JAP (Jewish use), bitch, slut. I'm sure there are a few more. I like the idea of reclaiming words. If someone were to call me queer I could just smile and say "I know! Want to see my legs?" and watch their head explode, instead of being upset by it.

I don't have a problem with allies using the word queer, because it's not entirely offensive. It can just mean genderqueer and can be useful to describe someone or something. I feel the same about most of the other words - they all have specific meanings.

I don't feel that way about fag and nigger though. They are both just offensive words and non-gays people shouldn't use fag to refer to gay people/ non- blacks shouldn't say nigger. In American English, they don't have any use other than rude ways to refer to gays/blacks. However, I know lots of white people are upset that black people have a special word they aren't allowed to use.

So, should everyone be allowed to use whatever words they want without others being offended? Is it not fair for a group to reclaim a word and be upset when other groups use it?

[powerboy]

Is it not fair for a group to reclaim a word and be upset when other groups use it?

No it is not fair. The perfect example is one that you listed. About black people calling each other niggers. They call each other that, but when another race does. Oh the shit hit the fan. They call that person racist. But then they turn around and get to call white people honkeys, crackers or what not. Is that fair? Fuck no.

[BroomJockey]

Is it not fair for a group to reclaim a word and be upset when other groups use it?

I understand the power and process of "reclaiming" words, but frankly, no, I don't believe it is fair. It reeks of a double-standard. "This group is fine to use it, this group isn't" purely because of race, or sexual/gender identity. If you're going to be offended by a word, then you should be offended by its use in all cases, no matter who's saying it. If you're not offended by someone of your group using it, because of *how* they're using it, then you should be offended when someone else of a different group uses it the same way.

Basically, I take the same position I did in the swearing thread. It's not the word, it's the feelings behind it.

[Pedersen]

I don't feel that way about fag and nigger though. They are both just offensive words and non-gays people shouldn't use fag/ non- blacks shouldn't say nigger. They don't have any use other than rude ways to refer to gays/blacks. However, I know lots of white people are upset that black people have a special word they aren't allowed to use.

define:fag

• act as a servant for older boys, in British public schools
• labor: work hard; "She was digging away at her math homework"; "Lexicographers drudge all day long"
• fagot: offensive term for an openly homosexual man
• tire: exhaust or get tired through overuse or great strain or stress; "We wore ourselves out on this hike"
• cigarette: finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking

That's a mighty versatile single use word you've got there.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Doesn't even come close to fuck though, that one's the ultimate.

Don't really care about words myself, I'd just rather people wouldn't be rude to each other. But they're going to do it anyway so I'm happy telling them to go screw themselves when they do... isn't free speech great?

[DesignFox]

If you're going to use the word yourself, then no, you don't get a pass to be offended when someone else uses it in the same context.

If the word is offensive, then it is offensive when EVERYONE uses it.

And I do agree with BroomJockey that the intent, not the word itself, is what determines whether or not I would be offended.

[Flyndaran]

Ahhh, I can't call myself, an irish/scottish/hispanic, a McCspic?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Ahhh, I can't call myself, an irish/scottish/hispanic, a McCspic?

Actually you can so long as you let me call you Flyndaran McCspic

[Flyndaran]

Actually you can so long as you let me call you Flyndaran McCspic

Hey, that's my word, you bigot.

[Lace Neil Singer]

What, so I can't call a cigarette a fag? It's slang over here; hardly anyone uses it to mean a disparaging word for a homosexual. XD

[anriana]

Thanks for pointing out that I was only thinking of American English.

[smileyeagle1021]

fair.

no, no it aint... neither was the best scholarship offer I received being from Utah State rather than SacState, nor me not being a straight white mormon in Utah, nor a million other things... guess what, y'alls just got to deal with a lack of fairness.

Oh, and at least from my experience, I have yet to meet a black guy who has been offended by my use of the word 'nigger'... why, because the only times I have said it have been when it is around only those who I know well enough to know I'm not using it as a derogatory, otherwise I don't go within 10 feet of that word. Same thing with dyke, I know some women who I can use that word with and not cause offense, otherwise, don't go anywhere near it. Ditto beaner. And guess what, I have friends, both gay and straight who use fag around me without me getting offended, because I know they mean no offense... the only time fag/homo/queer/etc bother me is if either the person blatantly intended offense, or the person using it doesn't comprehend what that word can mean. Reclaimed words aren't solely the domain of the group that has 'reclaimed' them, but those who are also supporters and friends of people in that group. So really, I'm going to have to go against the grain and say I see nothing wrong with reclaiming offensive words.

[BroomJockey]

So really, I'm going to have to go against the grain and say I see nothing wrong with reclaiming offensive words.

I'm fairly certain you've managed to misinterpret my position, especially with your selective quote of a single word of my post.

My position IS: reclaim a word. Go for it. But if YOU are using it in such a fashion, you don't get to be mad if I use it the same way. After all, can't I, as a supporter of your general cause (because I do support most causes. I'm a causeoholic), help you reclaim that word? Why do I need to be part of that specific group to do so? So, if I jokingly called you a homo, after you said "betcha that guy looks good in a speedo" or something like that, there shouldn't be a difference between my saying it like a joke, and your gay friends doing so.

After all, the only reasons I can see for not letting anyone use a word outside a specific group is either the denial of empathy (aka the "you don't know the trials the group has gone through so you can't say it" defence) or the tacit implication that anyone outside that group is automatically racist/homophobic/etc.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Hmmm... methinks Smiley and Broom have the same position but different wording... or something to that effect. (or is it affect?)

As for my own input, I will say that there are definitely those who are going to take offense at something and while not mandated outright it is polite to avoid offending people.

Still though, I'm more leaning to the side of go ahead and say it but if someone does take offense than just smooth it over in any way you wish and make a mental note for the future.

[smileyeagle1021]

Hmmm... methinks Smiley and Broom have the same position but different wording... or something to that effect. (or is it affect?)

pretty much, the difference is that I think people who are going to use them should be aware of the word and who they are using it around... and yes, if Broom were to call me a homo or a fag after I make a comment about Anton Yelchin in a speedo I won't be offended, but if one of my coworkers were to say it at work, no matter how well we get along, that is not the type of thing to be said at work no matter who it's by.