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  • I am a loner.

    I am a loner. One of my favorite books is the loner's manifesto. I love my daughter. I love spending time with her.

    Coworkers I tolerate they are fine to work with but I don't wanna grab a beer with any of them after work.

    I did the married thing and my exwife complained that I wasn't social enough. I have one really good friend and another that has known me for years but mostly we talk via text and phone.


    I would be happier living alone than living with people. I am not sure I need other people in a social capacity.

    What is odd about all of this is that when I was a kid I wanted to be popular more than anything. I wanted to be well liked and dreamed of a large group of friends.

    Is there something wrong with me? Does anyone else feel this way?
    Jack Faire
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  • #2
    There's nothing wrong with you. Some people are introverts.

    My husband is a bit of a loner. His job is about all the social interaction he can handle in a day; talking to people just wipes him out. When he gets home, he just wants to sit down with a book.

    I can go either way, myself. The nights that I feel like going out (when he doesn't), I just go without him. Being around people at my job all day energizes me; it makes me more likely to want to interact.

    Being introverted has nothing to do with the desire to be popular, either. Everyone wants to be well-liked, even if they don't want to engage with people too much.

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    • #3
      I only really need my love muffin and our two cats.
      I have on friend I see every month or so. She, my mom, and one brother are the only people I've even talked to in the better part of a year.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Flyndaran View Post
        She, my mom, and one brother are the only people I've even talked to in the better part of a year.
        And us, of course.

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        • #5
          What's funny is I am a city loner I love being alone in the middle of downtown people everywhere but I am in my own little world it's magic.
          Jack Faire
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          • #6
            Originally posted by Boozy View Post
            And us, of course.
            You're not a computer program!?!

            Seriously, I don't consider forum posts where I can control the rate of interaction to be on par with face to face communication. It certainly doesn't make me panic as much as seeing real people does.

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            • #7
              No, of course it's not the same thing as face-to-face interaction. But for those people for whom that is difficult or exhausting or just flat-out impossible, I think it's a fine replacement.

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              • #8
                I think my whole loner thing is why I am so great at my job as a customer service rep. I don't have to physically deal with people and they are only in my life for the time of the interaction.

                Course I also love that I get paid to sit at a computer for 8 hours a day and talk to people. To me that is the most awesome thing in the world.
                Jack Faire
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by jackfaire View Post
                  What's funny is I am a city loner I love being alone in the middle of downtown people everywhere but I am in my own little world it's magic.
                  Oh how I agree with this! Especially this time of the year. I love to go out alone to a quaint little shopping village when it's so crowded you can't walk and just be surrounded by strangers, but in my own world.

                  I was in Boston on vacation a few years ago and I had gone alone. Walking that city alone was one of the most wonderful things ever. The fact that I didn't have to interact with anyone unless it was to ask directions or to pay for something did wonders to my mental state.

                  I've now become quite content with being home with my hubby and our two cats and that's all. I don't care for lots of people to be in our home. I usually feel pressured to speak to them.

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                  • #10
                    I'm more of a loner as well.

                    I'd much rather spend my days reading, working on a Rubik's cube, megaminx or some of the logic books my girlfriend gives me. It drives my friends nuts. They think I'm lonely. But, I'm really not. I'm just alone and it's nice.

                    Of course, I do have to come here. I think getting people riled up is quite fun at times.
                    Crooked banks around the world would gladly give a loan today so if you ever miss a payment they can take your home away.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Fashion Lad! View Post
                      <snip>

                      Of course, I do have to come here. I think getting people riled up is quite fun at times.
                      That can, on occasion, be quite entertaining.

                      I am by far not a loner. Since I do, however, work with the public, there are some days I just need to be left alone.

                      Today is a good example. It's not that I had a lot of interaction with customers today, but the few I had were extremely frustrating and unproductive. (Lots of stupid questions, sucky attitudes, and zero sales opportunity). I just had to come home, go straight to the basement, and get away from everyone so I could cool off.

                      In general though, I'm very social. I have lots of acquaintances, but very few people I'd say I'm actually "close" to. I always tended to be that person that could get along with a wide variety of people; oftentimes the groups so different from one another that I wouldn't say they'd all get along if put in the same room together.

                      I respect that not everyone is like me, though. I don't really see anything "wrong" with the quiet person that likes small gatherings or would prefer to sit in the corner with a good book. *shrug*

                      Could be that I always got along with those types of people, too. I'm pretty easy going. As long as no one is hurting anyone else, I don't really interfere with them. I figure, to each his own.
                      "Children are our future" -LaceNeilSinger
                      "And that future is fucked...with a capital F" -AmethystHunter

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                      • #12
                        I guess partly I worry because while I love my daughter and love hanging out with her I am glad her grandmother has custody.

                        I worry that I will never be able to handle being responsible for another person and that while I can see myself happy living my lifely mostly alone.

                        I am not sure I ever want to remarry or have more kids and sometimes this worries me because I was raised in a large family where you have large families and me I think I might be the guy who passes quietly in his apartment years from now.
                        Jack Faire
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