Bisexuals: Real Sexuality or Just for Attention?

[HYHYBT]

Labels... I've seen a lot of complaints (elsewhere more than here) about the evils of labels. The thing to remember is that labels are what make communication *possible*. If the basic labels are inadequate, you can always add description, but ultimately every noun (and most other parts of speech, come to think of it) is a label.

[Kaylyn]

Labels... I've seen a lot of complaints (elsewhere more than here) about the evils of labels. The thing to remember is that labels are what make communication *possible*. If the basic labels are inadequate, you can always add description, but ultimately every noun (and most other parts of speech, come to think of it) is a label.

Thank you for this!

One of my friends (the gay ex, actually) fusses at me every time I do bring up my sexual or gender identity. He basically says, "You shouldn't put so much stock in labels, just be who you are and be happy with yourself." Well that's a lovely sentiment and all, and in a way he's right, but the reason I sought out the labels I use is because I was looking for reassurance that I'm not a freak, that there are others out there that feel the same way I do. The fact that the labels exist shows that there are enough people out there to put a label to a way of life.

So yes, I am genderqueer. I am an asexual panromantic woman for the most part. And sometimes a gay man in a woman's body. And I'm not the only one out there, and I know this thanks to the EBUL LABELS. I don't go around introducing myself as such, but I find comfort in being able to say, "yeah this is who I am," if the situation comes up.

[Mytical]

Even I, who think people tend to put too much stock in labels..and defy most labels..know that labels can be a good thing. I just think that a lot of the labels are to..generic. They really don't tell you all about something.

For instance, the label 'chair'. We all know what a chair is, but if I say "I sat in a chair" you really don't know what kind of chair. Could be anything from an old wicker chair to some space age thing that looks like it came from star trek.

So yeah, labels can be good, but for some of us .. they just do not fit.

[siead_lietrathua]

labels do make great conversation starters, lol, but sexuality is one of my fave conversations to learn about and to pass on information of.
well, plus when you tell someone you're a pansexual genderfucked two-spirit they tend to go "Buh?!" and it can lead to some interesting rounds of banter.

[Kaylyn]

labels do make great conversation starters, lol, but sexuality is one of my fave conversations to learn about and to pass on information of.
well, plus when you tell someone you're a pansexual genderfucked two-spirit they tend to go "Buh?!" and it can lead to some interesting rounds of banter.

I don't know whether I should be happy or scared that I didn't bat an eyelash at that last part.

[guywithashovel]

I'm straight. The sheer thought of kissing, making out with, or doing anything romantic with another man makes my skin crawl. One time in grad school, I was looking into going on a group trip, and they were wanting us to share single rooms to save money. This meant that I would have roomed with a guy, and we would have had to have shared a bed. The thought of that made me shiver. I ended up not going on the trip, but it wasn't for that reason. Now, if some other guy likes to share beds with or get romantic with other men, godspeed to him, but I'm not going to be that guy.

I think people fuss too much with sexual orientation and "gender identity." Some might say that they don't "feel" like a man or a woman despite being biologically male or female. Well, what exactly is a man or a woman supposed to feel like? Honestly, I think part of the cause of people developing problems with their gender identity is all this fussing about what males and females are "supposed" to do. Boys are supposed to like sports, so if some boy doesn't like sports, our eyebrows need to go up. Girls are supposed to like pink and dolls and play house, and if some girl doesn't like those things, it's cause for alarm.

[macphile]

I'd hate to see what that GLBT group thinks of asexuals.

[Mytical]

My gay friends (both male and female) do not have a problem with asexuals that I know of, or if so they have never said anything. I am one of the more asexual people they know. To me intimacy is more important then sex.

A few in the community seem to have some difficulty accepting Bisexual people..but I think it is getting less and less so as time goes by.

[Eisa]

Asexuals are a-ok by me. In fact, I think sometimes that I lean toward being demi-sexual. I have to really know someone before I can even think of fucking them, apparently. I only have actual sexual attraction toward my bf now, no one else. Although there are loads of people I want to snuggle.

[Seshat]

I have to really know someone before I can even think of fucking them, apparently. I only have actual sexual attraction toward my bf now, no one else.

And because of this, regardless of whether you are capable of attraction to both (all?) sexes, many people would deem you to be attracted only to men.

The fact that the majority of people seem to settle down with a single partner conceals a lot of potentiality-for-bisexuality, IMO.

[Mytical]

Asexuals are a-ok by me. In fact, I think sometimes that I lean toward being demi-sexual. I have to really know someone before I can even think of fucking them, apparently. I only have actual sexual attraction toward my bf now, no one else. Although there are loads of people I want to snuggle.

For some reason me being a guy somehow means I am incapable of being asexual. Apparently I am supposed to be chasing down anything female and human, and hitting them with a club and dragging them back to my cave. When people hear I am not that interested in sex, they do not seem to believe it.

[Panacea]

I'm straight. The sheer thought of kissing, making out with, or doing anything romantic with another man makes my skin crawl. One time in grad school, I was looking into going on a group trip, and they were wanting us to share single rooms to save money. This meant that I would have roomed with a guy, and we would have had to have shared a bed. The thought of that made me shiver.

You would have had a hard time a 100 years or so ago. When people rented space in boarding houses, they usually rented space in a bed rather than a whole room.

For some reason me being a guy somehow means I am incapable of being asexual. Apparently I am supposed to be chasing down anything female and human, and hitting them with a club and dragging them back to my cave. When people hear I am not that interested in sex, they do not seem to believe it.

You're perfectly normal . . . for you.

I have the opposite problem. I have very little interest in sex, and what little interest I do have is in men. But I've been accused on several occasions of being lesbian, and even the assurances of friends who know me well has not changed the opinions of those people

[Mytical]

*nods* Even my mother has asked me if I was gay. My thought process is a bit much for people. Like treasuring the person you happen to be with. Which gets me comments "You put them on pedestals" or such. If you love the one you are with, you want to treat them the best you can. It's not like I don't expect the same in return. Yes, I want to make whoever I happen to be with happy, it's not a crime..but people seem to think it is. My beliefs are ... odd I will admit that.

I was raised that you treat people like you want to be treated, and yes I tend to treat people better then I expect to be treated. It's easy to be selfish, hate, etc..why take the easy way out?

[mooncat]

Statistically I knew this to be the case, I just don't see the numbers being as large as from the male watching lesbian demographic.

Wanna bet? Search m/m romance on Amazon. Most, or at least a lot of it, is written by women (you can't always tell from the author's name, you have to check into the authors) and most of the readership seems to be women.

Re: that Star Trek episode with Crusher and the trill who ended up in a female body...that was a total cop-out. Crusher's excuse was "I can't keep up." And of course there was never another mention of the character, even though they were supposed to be in love.

However, somebody was actually filming a version of Star Trek (of the Next Generation era, I believe) that actually had gay characters. I saw a clip of this on a website once, but cannot remember what the show was called or who did it. I seem to recall (perhaps erroneously) that David Gerrold was involved in the writing...really not sure. Has anyone else ever seen this/heard of this?

[Ginger Tea]

I think I've used the "I'd go gay for x." a few times in my life and if I was given the choice of Brad or Angelina I'd go team Brad as I just don't fancy her.

Or I could go one step further into 'being John Malcovich' teritory and say "would you rather be Brad fucking Angelina or the other way round."

Other way round please, that way I get to be a woman and have sex with Brad Pitt