Bisexuals: Real Sexuality or Just for Attention?

[McDreidel09]

I am going to get this out right now. I am bisexual. People know this.

However, I am told that my sexuality isn't real and that it is for attention from guys. One of the workshops for the GLBT conference I am going to this weekend is called "Removing the B from GLBT".

Personally, I am tired of people saying that I say that I am bisexual to get attention, that I just can't make up my mind, that I am just going through a curiosity stage, etc.

I am bisexual. I find both men and women sexually attractive. I have done sexual things with men and liked it. I have done sexual things with women and liked it. I have been in love with men. I have been in love with women.

And that workshop grinds my gears. Isn't it the GLBT goal to accept everyone for who they are?

So, discuss. Is bisexual a real sexuality to you or do you think that bisexual people do this for the reasons I have stated above?

[Greenday]

Bisexual is a sexual preference. Some people really DO just like both men and women. It just hurts that some women will make out with other women for attention. But a GLBT not be tolerant of someone's sexuality? That's just absurd.

[HYHYBT]

I can't see it as anything other than a logic failure: the fact that some people, maybe even all the ones a person knows, who say they're bisexual are either doing so as a stage in realizing they're really in the "G" or "L" category, or else lying for one reason or another, does not mean that *nobody* claiming bisexuality is telling the truth!

It would be nice, though, to hear some well-thought-out reasons from someone on the other side of this.

[Boozy]

If heterosexuality exists, and homosexuality exists, it only stands to reason that bisexuality also exists.

It seems more common in women than men, which is why some people have drawn the conclusion that it's merely for attention. It's considered "hot" for a woman to have sex with another woman. Not so much for men.

With that said, the number of college-aged women who claim bisexuality is far higher that the number who claim it later in life. What that says to me is that at least some women claim to be bisexual to get attention.

It's also worth noting that many men who claim bisexuality eventually come out of the closet as gay. They use their period of "bisexuality" to test the waters before making the jump.

Meanwhile, many women who claim bisexuality eventually get married to a man and write off their previous claims of orientation as "that crazy experimental time in college." Part of this can be attributed to the fact that women's sexuality is more fluid. For some bisexual women, an attraction to the same sex can be at least temporarily shoved aside by their biological clock.

True bisexuality is pretty rare.

This is all based on my personal experiences with a large group of friends with varying orientations. I don't claim to be an expert.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

There's no such thing as 'true' bisexuality. It is represented by many shades of gray ranging from 'mostly into opposite, but also same' to 'mostly into same, but also opposite'.

Whether or not a person claims a given sexuality for their entire life is inconsequential. I know homosexuals who once claimed heterosexuality, and heterosexuals who once claimed homosexuality. Expecting people to understand themselves fully from day one and admitting it beyond all doubt is preposterous.

From what I was able to find, reported bisexuality often comes back as marginally less prevalent than homosexuality with a substantial portion of 'something else'. It can be argued that a portion of 'something else' is a variant form of bisexuality.

[Ghel]

I identify as bisexual (or, at least, I would if there were no social or work-related repercussions). However, most outside observers would see me as a happily-married heterosexual woman. That doesn't mean that I'm not attracted to women, as well. If the conditions were right, I'm certain I could fall in love with a woman as easily as a man.

Now, having said that, I have to say that I don't think that human sexuality falls neatly into three neat categories: hetero, bi, and homo. I think it's a broad spectrum, which is described best by the Kinsey scale. But even that, I think, is oversimplified. It doesn't take into account the difference between attraction and action. Nor the fact that people grow, change, that there's biological (including hormonal) differences at different ages, and so on.

Still, it seems odd that a GLBT conference would have a workshop called "Removing the B from GLBT." Is there a description of the workshop? Maybe it's just a bad title?

[Bloodsoul]

I will admit, the "main character" of the comic I'm trying (and failing) to write/draw is a bisexual female. My original intent was that she just doesn't see a difference; you love who you love, and wether that person is male or female doesn't mean a thing to her. Granted, I also picture her being a misanthropist who'd be as likely to punch someone as she would kiss them (probably more so).

...eh, I should probably work on this idea a bit more. I can't give out any real-life examples (since I'm a bit of a shut-in myself); I'm probably just trying to convince myself that, yes, there can be people who are attracted to both without vying for attention.

(I should probably shut up now)

[Vagabond]

*blink blink* *attempts to stave off a brain aneurysm*
A GLBT (which I'm assuming means Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender) conference is trying to take the 'Bi' out of it? Ummm, why? Aren't they trying to promote rights for the GLBT community? I don't get it.

I agree with the scaling theory that on the one end you have 100% hetero and on the opposite end you have 100% homosexual. However, with that scale, 99.98% of everyone will fall somewhere between those two points. So, with that said, there must exist bisexuals. Stands to logic and reasoning according to that theory.
However, society does tend to foist roles and expectations of behaviour on us, so in order to become more accepted by society we usually fit into those roles and/or modes of behaviour and expectations. So, it may have been 'a crazy experiment in college' or it might have been the true/real you, and you've just adapated to a new role/expectation of you. Society accepts that things happen in college, but prefers if it stays in college.

[Nyoibo]

There's a large section of the homosexual community that has something in common with the people they campaign against, instead of there being only one way you can be they think there's only two, gay or straight.

[Vagabond]

I'd have to ask SmileyEagle, but isn't the homosexual community also trying hard to fight for rights? Seems to me, but the more people you have on your side, the more voice you have, the more likely you can influence opinion? Am I being illogical on this?
I'm trying to think of an analogy here, but I'll ask it outright.
Are bisexuals discriminated against in the homosexual community? What, are they NOT homosexual enough? Or think that they might secretly be in cahoots with the heterosexuals trying to repress them?

[smileyeagle1021]

I am not the person to ask about whether or not bisexuality really exists... I was one of the people who used it as a means of testing the waters before coming out as gay. Do I recognize that some people could legitimately be attracted to both sexes... sure, I guess I could, but that wasn't my experience.
And as far as why bi's aren't particularly liked by the GLBT community is the exact same reason that they are LOVED by homophobes. They are the poster boys (or girls) for the ex-gay movement. A ex-gay therapist can easily say "look at John here, he used to sleep with men, now he happily sleeps with women" and ignore the fact that he is still attracted to both. So acceptance of bisexuality is a double edged sword... yes, it is accepting someone for who they are, but it is also 'proving' same sex attractions can be ignored in favor of heterosexual attractions.
I also know many gay men and straight women (and this works the same in reverse I'd assume, but I know more about the male side) who will not get involved with someone who is bi. They have a fear (right or wrong) that if/when that person leaves them they will leave them for someone of the different orientation (ie, leave a gay male for a straight woman) and they will be left with the taint that they were so bad of a lover that someone would change preferene because of them.
Is it right? Probably not, but heterosexuals aren't exactly free of all flaws (I get to listen into enough of their conversations by virtue of my job to know that I don't have nearly the issues that some of them have), so it's only fair that gays and lesbians have their flaws too.

All that said though, when it comes down to it... every person, gay, straight, bi, or no sexual drive at all, who is willing to help secure equal rights for all (either through activism or at the ballot box) is more than welcome to join in as far as I'm concerned.

[Vagabond]

SmileyEagle - I meant I'd have to ask you about the homosexual community still fighting for rights. I didn't mean to infer to ask you about bisexuality. I apologize if I didn't make myself clear.

I'd have to ask SmileyEagle, but isn't the homosexual community also trying hard to fight for rights?

[Nyoibo]

Are bisexuals discriminated against in the homosexual community? What, are they NOT homosexual enough? Or think that they might secretly be in cahoots with the heterosexuals trying to repress them?

Yes, yes and kind of but not quite.

[Vagabond]

Nyoibo, Thank you for the clarification. I was not being facetious with those questions. I honestly did not know. [no sarcasm]
- I feel smart. I learned something today! Yay!

[McDreidel09]

So, I did go to the workshop. The title was not as it seemed. It was meant to provoke people so they would come to it.

The workshop was about how bisexuals are often left behind in Gay Rights. It was refreshing to hear that there are other people who do think that bisexuality is a true sexuality and it needs to be remembered rather than forgotten.

However, there are more than just heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality, asexuality, and transexuality. There is a much broader spectrum that I had no idea about!