Living with mom

[jackfaire]

So I now live with my mom. I have a fulltime job as a customer service rep with a good company and great benefits I make decent money. The reason for the change is that I have a mountain of debt and between my debt and current bills I was drowning.

I want to buy a home. In 4 years I can have all of my debts cleared paid off and my IRA will have near what I need for a decent downpayment.

Now here is the thing I am also wanting to start dating again. Are the following strikes against me or really anyone.

1) I am 30 and rent my mom's garage

2) I am divorced and have a daughter

3) I work a job that only supports me and will not support a family unless my significant other also works.

Are they can anyone else think of things that tend to be strikes?

[MaggieTheCat]

Honestly I think the mountain of debt is the biggest strike of them all, in my opinion. None of the other things would be deal-breakers for me if I was dating (I would certainly take them all into careful consideration if I was dating someone in your situation) but the debt likely would be. I would not want to be with someone who has so much debt until it was mostly or all paid off, for fear that I would get stuck with some or all of it eventually or that the person in question would just keep on accumulating more debt.

Edit: After re-reading this, I probably should have first asked what kind of debt it is. If it's student loans or a car payment or a house payment...those are good or at least decent debt. But if it's credit card debt, that's a turn-off.

[Boozy]

Debt is indeed a concern, since anyone who gets involved in a long-term relationship with you is tying their sails to yours, so to speak.

With that said, you're not going to be in debt for long, and you don't require any outside help to get out of it. So it should be a non-issue shortly.

But the other things you mention needn't be considered strikes against you at all. There are plenty of people who would love to become involved with someone with a child. I love children, and haven't had any luck having my own. I would still have married my husband if he had a child from a previous marriage. I'd have considered it a bonus!

Lots of people are divorced, and many people don't make enough to support two or more people. I think that if someone gets really judgmental about this kind of stuff, then they aren't the kind of person you would want in your or your daughter's life anyhow.

[jackfaire]

My debt was some credit card debt but that was for uniforms. Most of my debt was car, wedding bands, etc. Functional or typical marriage stuff. I just haven't had the money to pay it all off.

Moving into my mom's allows me to start getting it all paid off. In the divorce I got stuck with all of the bills. She got out without the debt.

[Rapscallion]

Is this about living with your mother or about whether or not you'll be able to get another girlfriend?

Rapscallion

[Plaidman]

Or do you want to go out with your mother? (JOKING)

[telecom_goddess]

Or do you want to go out with your mother? (JOKING)

Funny.

At least you have your mom to go to. I am also paying off a large amount of debt (some credit cards, medical etc) but have to do that and support a household.

[jackfaire]

Funny.

At least you have your mom to go to. I am also paying off a large amount of debt (some credit cards, medical etc) but have to do that and support a household.

Yeah I feel for you. It took a couple years of hammering out the details with my mom before I was able to move in with her.

And yes this is about the girlfriend thing.

I feel no shame renting from my mom. In fact there is the thought of me buying a house letting her live in it while I use the basement and using the money I save to travel the world and drive the cars I want.

And send my daughter to college.