Friends With Benefits

[McDreidel09]

I just kind of wanted to get an idea of what people thought of friends with benefits.

Gonna throw in my opinion. I have experience with them. When I was a bit younger, my friends with benefits just wanted the sex. They didn't want to go out and do the normal friends stuff. As a newly single person, I decided to go out and mingle and met a guy through a really great friend.

We decided that we were attracted to each other, but agreed that we both were not looking for anything serious. So, we became friends with benefits. Now, he is not like I have experienced before with FWBs. We actually go out and do stuff. We are planning a day trip to the near by water park in the near future. We go to Belegarth practice together and interact quite normally, even though there is some hugging, cuddling, and massaging at practice when he isn't fighting. We do have sexual relations.

So my opinion is that Friends With Benefits are fine, just as long as no-one gets hurt and both parties are very clear about their intentions. I don't care for the FWBs that just want the sex and don't want to do the friends part.

[AdminAssistant]

I think it depends on the person. I had two FWB situations, and they really screwed me up. I can't do the just sex and hanging out part. I need the security of a committed relationship. so....yeah. Not for me.

[Red Panda]

Pretty much the best thing ever

[Nyoibo]

FWB if only sex isn't FWB, it's a booty call, just out of interest what's the difference between FWB and being in an open relationship?

[Plaidman]

FWB if only sex isn't FWB, it's a booty call, just out of interest what's the difference between FWB and being in an open relationship?

FWB are just good friends that have sex out of mutual need or want.


Open relationships is a couple that chooses it, however for the most part the open is still open to debate, as alot of times each member of the couple has to at least talk to their primary person to be with someone, if anything to be safe as even condems don't protect from all stds all the time. They still have a more closer relationships to each other then just a FWB.

[KnitShoni]

FWB if only sex isn't FWB, it's a booty call, just out of interest what's the difference between FWB and being in an open relationship?

I think (not really sure as I've never done it) the difference is, with FWB, there is no commitment anywhere, whereas in an open relationship, you're committed to one person, but you have that person's ok to sleep with other people.

[blas87]

I've never had a good experience from it, but then again, I was deceived into thinking that it would turn into a relationship. I was really stupid when I was younger and I let guys take advantage of me. I don't anymore. Call me a prude or a bitch, but if I'm ever single again, I will not let any guy get anywhere with me on the first date.

With my current bf, we did meet at a bar and slept with each other the first night we met, but we both knew we really liked one another and it was not a one night thing or a fling. That is pretty rare and I doubt that happens often, and if I'm ever single again, I won't be going to bars anyways to look for guys, but that was just a rare occurance. My parents met at a bar and are still married, but that's also rare to be married for that long these days anyways.

I think it's risky with sex buddies, because anyone can tell you "Oh, I really like you, we can work up to something" and then three days later say "No, I like being single better, sorry."

[Greenday]

It works as long as both people understand exactly the purpose of it. When I started hooking up with my FWB, I made it clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship. She accepted that and it's worked out well ever since (minus the part where I want to quit it but it's too addicting). We hang out with our friends, do normal friend stuff, then in down time...have sex.

[jackfaire]

I have to say that while I am not a prude and believe me I am not at all pure.

I however cannot have sex without a relationship. My feelings are always involved when it comes to that.

[crashhelmet]

touching more on what Nyoibo said, if you're hanging out and doign friend type things, it's FWB. If all you're doing is hooking up randomly for sex, it's a Booty Call.

The problem I've experienced and seen others experience with the FWB type situations is that eventually, someone gets attached. Once that happens, if an exclusive relationship doesn't form, everything goes south. Booty Calls, on the other hand, are usually safer in that aspect and can typically last longer.

CH

[Peppergirl]

Just chiming in on this topic. Yes old people like myself do the FWB thing too.

Since splitting up with my ex fiance for good about a year and a half ago, I've had two semi-successful FWB situations.

The first one was an employee of my ex-husband. Sounds a little tacky, but me and my ex-husband are pretty cool, so it was fine. It went on most of the summer and into the fall. He moved to FL this past spring, so that kinda put the kibosh on that. It was perfect. Physical attraction, zero desire for a relationship...It was all I could handle after the big break up with my ex-fiance. Bonus: I got alot of free work done to my car too, as he was a mechanic.

Recently, I had the same situation with a guy I've known for like 16 years. He is actually my ex-best friends ex-husband. Man, I'm starting to sound REAL tacky, but she and I haven't been friends since 2003 and they have been divorced since 2000, so I didn't see the harm. He and I were friends too, so it was a win-win.....until he got attached. I thought I might feel something too, but I was just kidding myself. Right now, we're at the stage where I'm hoping we can still go back to friendship, but it's definitely touch-and-go.

Bottom line is, I guess I'm *still* not ready for anything real, even though it's been a year and a half since the break up. FWB is all I can handle, and I'm assuming that will change eventually.

I guess it's like everyone else is saying - as long as both people are on the same 'page' in the situation, it can be a good thing...but there's definitely potential for people to get hurt, especially when feelings become involved.

[jackfaire]

Man, I'm starting to sound REAL tacky, but she and I haven't been friends since 2003

Meh I got my exwife's ex best friend in the divorce and we almost dated once.

[Peppergirl]

Meh I got my exwife's ex best friend in the divorce and we almost dated once.

well, when you couple that with the fact that my *other* FWB was an employee of my ex-husband, it definitely raises (or lowers) the 'tacky' bar.

But thanks

[guywithashovel]

I tend to think people should be careful about this stuff. Yes, it's all well and good as long as you're both on the same page about it, but people should still stop and think about how this is going to effect them down the road. After you've been FWB for a while, you might start developing feelings for the person.

[Greenday]

After you've been FWB for a while, you might start developing feelings for the person.

And that's when you stop.