Friends With Benefits

[Peppergirl]

After you've been FWB for a while, you might start developing feelings for the person.

If *both* people start developing feelings, it could be a good thing - but it does take alot of work. Me and my ex-fiance', the one I refer to as the true love of my life, actually started out this way. In the long run, it ended - but it was nearly 6 years long.

Unfortunately, it's usually one person developing the feelings..which causes big problems.

[Pony Boy]

My girlfriend and I were FWB for YEARS ( from 2001 to 2009) it was great!! Around 2009 we started developing feelings for each other and we've been dating successfully ever since. We have our problems like every other couple and none of them have anything to do with how we met or what we did those first few years

[aurelemsrealm]

As long as it's made clear up front, I don't see the big deal.

Everyone has to make their own decisions on what works for them.

With that in mind, I know what would work for me if I was still single. When I was single, I made up my own mind what I wanted, and went for it. On the other hand, FWB arrangements only seemed to work for me when those special friends lived in different towns and led somewhat separate lives.

[guywithashovel]

And that's when you stop.

That's right. But people entering into such a relationship should realize that they may develop feelings while they other person doesn't, and they should consider how that might make them feel.

[tropicsgoddess]

Each to their own, but personally FWBs can be good for casual sex only (no worries on one night stands with strangers and God knows where they've been). But if it's one person that starts developing feelings instead of both people, then that's when it gets crazy and that's when it has to end. I would stay away from having an FWB that works with you, especially if they are in a higher position than you 'cause if shit hits the fan, it can turn into a huge catastrophe.

[infinitemonkies]

I honestly don't understand the difference between dating and FWB.

Let's say you and I grab dinner together before going to a party. Afterwards, we come back to my place, chill out, talk, and wind up in bed together. Let's further say this is not an uncommon routine. Are we dating, or are we FWB? What's the difference?

Should a date not be someone I can feel comfortable with, be relaxed, be goofy? Is it inappropriate to take a FWB to a fancy restaurant, or a weekend getaway?



I think we take sex way too seriously in this culture. As long as it's safe and consensual, why should having sex with someone really be any different than working out together, or playing basketball, or any other physical activity?

[Greenday]

Is it inappropriate to take a FWB to a fancy restaurant, or a weekend getaway?

Because that's more than what friends do generally. The only difference between friends and friends with benefits is sex. You do nothing ordinary friends wouldn't do, but you also have sex. You don't go on dates or stuff.

Following your logic, if I have a friend and we go out, grab dinner, go to a party together, she crashes at my place, nothing physical happens whatsoever, how are we different from couples that aren't very physical?

[ExiledV20]

I prefer polyamory over FWB. The rules are stated, the relationship clear, and procedures defined.

[Red Panda]

The thing with polygamy is that there are a lot of people I would do that I would never in a million years want to date let alone marry.

[Greenday]

The thing with polygamy is that there are a lot of people I would do that I would never in a million years want to date let alone marry.

Don't forget the whole jealousy issue a lot of people would have with it.

[Hobbs]

I prefer polyamory over FWB. The rules are stated, the relationship clear, and procedures defined.

Geez, you make it sound like enlisting. If that's the case, I'll stick with a nice monogamous relationship.

[bhskittykatt]

I don't have experience with FWB, but I have friends who do. It usually works until one starts to have a serious relationship with someone ...then the other FWB gets jealous and things turn ugly. That's what I've seen as an outside observer in several cases. I'm sure it works out for some, but at least in my social circle, it seems to always turn complicated and messy (and not a good kind of messy )

[Greenday]

Just hung out with my previous FWB today. It was me, her, her friend, and her boyfriend. I'm so glad she listened to my advice and didn't tell him about our previous link.