Sexual Preference & Promiscuitity

[Greenday]

Stupid no spell check on my work computer.

My step-brother brought this up the other day when he was visiting when he mentioned a story about mistakingly going to a gay bar. He said he's noticed that for some reason, gay people tend to be bigger sluts than straight people. At first I was like, "Wtf? Since when did you have issues with the gays?" Then I thought about it. Besides one of my old bosses who was gay, every gay person I know, especially men, are huge sluts. None of them have ever had interest in long term relationships. They'd rather go to a bar, pick up someone, have sex, then bail. Sure, I know plenty of straight people who are complete sluts. Most of my female friends freshman year were sluts. But the gay guys I know personally put them to shame. And then throughout college, this held out to be true. Most straight people I met in college were more interested in settling down. And I met people from all areas of college. Jocks, fellow nerds, stoners, drunks, sorority/frat members, band, etc.

Yes, I do know a few gay people who don't have any interest in sleeping around. One of my first bosses whom I've known all my life has been with his boyfriend since before I was born (22.5 years ago) and they have been happy staying with each other. One of our esteemed CS/Fratching members is happy to be monogamous to the point where he is getting married to his boyfriend. But these examples just seem to be the minority in my experience.

So I'm turning to Fratching to hear what you guys think and have experienced.

[linguist]

i've known a few gay sluts, but the vast majority of gay people i know (as in probably in the 90-95% range) are in committed relationships, many of them long term, 10-year + relationships.

[Hobbs]

I wouldn't call anyone a slut, and would break someone's nose (figuratively) for calling him that, but he does tend to date a lot. It's not sleeping around, though...well, in my view, anyway. I think my brother just falls in love quickly, and for some really big jerks (jokingly, my gf has concluded I-a straight man-has better taste in men ).

[KnitShoni]

Same here. Most of the gay people I know are in committed relationships, and a lot of them seem to value that commitment more than some of the straight people I've met.

[Plaidman]

I know a decent chunk of gay people, what with living in Portland. Of them, none I'd consider sluts. I know more straight people that sleep around alot more then them.

[McDreidel09]

Greenday, what age group are these gay men in that you speak of? As with any preference, the younger age groups may tend to be more promiscuous. That has been my experience, but the older age groups tend to try to find someone to be in a long term relationship with.

Another factor could be geography. Is this place more accepting of other orientations or not? While it's not true for all, but in my experience, gays who live in less accepting areas tend to be more promiscuous than those who live in more accepting areas.

Just keep in mind that this is just my experience, which is not all that big.

[Greenday]

Moderately accepting area.
Early/Mid 20s.

Yea, I get younger people tend to be more promiscuous but I'm comparing people of the same age so that's not an excuse.

[joe hx]

First, look at straight guys. It may just be a stereotype, but they like to brag about about how many women they've slept with. It's socially acceptable that they have multiple partners. They're studs or other words I can't think of right now. If a woman does that, she's a slut or a whore.

Now take this attitude we associate with straight guys and apply it to gay guys. Suddenly you have a group of people actively trying to have sex with each other as much as possible.

Also, what's up with gay pride festivals? I never see "straight pride" festivals where people shove their activities in your face. Well, there's Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I went to a Rainbow concert at school once (I'm not gay, I was invited by a girl, and I stayed and watched because I was somewhat curious) and it wasn't far from being a gay sex fest. I don't see a similar straight thing at school happening.

I hope I didn't offend any gay people here. Feel free to bash that paragraph though!

[Greenday]

First, look at straight guys. It may just be a stereotype, but they like to brag about about how many women they've slept with. It's socially acceptable that they have multiple partners. They're studs or other words I can't think of right now. If a woman does that, she's a slut or a whore.

I think this is one entire stereotype. There were people who had sex with tons of people and bragged about it, male or female. Then there were people who weren't sluts and never mentioned it. I've actually heard a lot more females bragging about their conquests than males.

Now take this attitude we associate with straight guys and apply it to gay guys. Suddenly you have a group of people actively trying to have sex with each other as much as possible.

Eh, as I said, I've dealt with women being more likely to go after multiple partners than males.

Also, what's up with gay pride festivals? I never see "straight pride" festivals where people shove their activities in your face. Well, there's Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I went to a Rainbow concert at school once (I'm not gay, I was invited by a girl, and I stayed and watched because I was somewhat curious) and it wasn't far from being a gay sex fest. I don't see a similar straight thing at school happening.

As far as why there's no straight festivals, I'll let you know as soon as there are white festivals or male festivals. Those two groups get screwed too.

Never been to a gay festival mainly cause I've never heard of one. I would have in college if I had a chance to see what's going on but no such luck.

[gremcint]

Stupid no spell check on my work computer.

http://www.spellchecker.net/spellcheck/

[McDreidel09]

For the straight pride parades and festivals, you gotta make them yourself. Gay pride fests didn't pop out of no-where. If you want to celebrate your heterosexuality, you can. However, I don't really see people wearing "Hetero and Proud" pins.

The thing about Pride celebrations is that they are open to everyone. I love how everyone ignores the "Ally" part of everything. Just like the Gay Straight Alliances, people tend to forget the Straight part. Even if they don't specifically mention Allies, events are open to heterosexuals who are supportive.

[Greenday]

I know the gay community for the most part will accept anyone that is willing to help the cause (minus a couple wackos, always has to be someone that refuses help). But you won't see many parades for male pride or heterosexual pride or white pride. That'd be racist or sexist or whatever. Look at what happened to the College Republicans group at the University of Rhode Island and their WHAM (White Heterosexual American Male) scholarship.

http://media.www.ramcigar.com/media/...-2776874.shtml

The results, being punish, proves my point.

[smileyeagle1021]

Greenday, since no one else has mentioned it... judging the commitment level of the glbt population of of gay bars is about as far as judging all Utahns off of Warren Jeffs. Yes, I've met my fair share of promiscuous gay guys... but I've met proportionally more promiscuous straight guys.
And as far as to why there seems to be a lot of glbt who aren't interested in commitment, this ties back into the gay marriage debate. GLBT are told time and time again that their relationships are not as good as heterosexual relationships, and even that their relationships are invalid. Do you really expect people who are being told that their relationships won't matter anyway to try to take a relationship seriously? I personally can understand why someone would decide "well, a relationship won't matter anyway, after all, the Bible says I can't have a true relationship with another man, so what's the point in trying"... I see it all the time in this area.

[KnitShoni]

I know the gay community for the most part will accept anyone that is willing to help the cause (minus a couple wackos, always has to be someone that refuses help). But you won't see many parades for male pride or heterosexual pride or white pride. That'd be racist or sexist or whatever. Look at what happened to the College Republicans group at the University of Rhode Island and their WHAM (White Heterosexual American Male) scholarship.

http://media.www.ramcigar.com/media/...-2776874.shtml

The results, being punish, proves my point.

It always amuses me when members of the majority make this complaint. For the most part, American history (what's been allowed to be taught, anyway) has been a celebration of the White heterosexual male, only recently acknowledging to contributions of women, racial minorities, and homosexuals. Every parade, every group, every law, every positive story, until only recently, has been focused on representing the White heterosexual male. Many of the women's groups, minority groups, and homosexual groups present today ONLY came about because the rest of us were ignored. Our contributions to society, if they were acknowledged at all, were co-opted by White heterosexual males. Do you know why Black history month and Hispanic Heritage month and Asian Heritage month exist? Because there's more to all of those groups histories in this country than the blurbs they're relegated to in the history books. Do you know why Gay Pride exists? Because not only do they not even get a blurb, this country still has not reached the point where it sees them as full people.

[Greenday]

Never been to a gay bar. We didn't have any at school (though there was one that I nicknamed our school's gay bar mainly because there tended to be a high gay population there).

Going from relationship to relationship to relationship sucks. And personally, I prefer to not get STDs which is more likely to happen when you whore yourself out. It gets tiring after awhile. And I was under the impression that most gay people who want to stay with a partner permanently didn't give a crap what the bible has to say about it.