Does offline trump online?

[jackfaire]

It's fairly well accepted at least in my family that if you receive two invitations you attend the one you first promised to be at and apologize to the second. Unless you live in a sitcom then hilarious hijinks ensue.

Now the thing is that with the advent of the internet some of your social engagements may no longer all be offline. IE I have close personal friends that I know from offline whom live far enough away online is the only feasible way for us to hang out.

Now that being said most people understand staying in to chat up a friend you haven't seen in a few months.

However how many agree like me that friend ship is not based on physical location and that you can be friends with people you meet in other locales. Half of history that kept correspondences believed that and would be envious of our ability to receive instantaneous replies.

As such sometimes you will make schedules to hang out with said person since inevitably as all friends do you find that you have family and work obligations that limit your time to just being able to hang out and talk.

Here is where it gets tricky. If I schedule time to be with my daughter no one thinks twice about me turning down a party invite. However if I want to hang out or talk to a friend that I may not see all the time suddenly it's weird.

If it's rare to find the person on at the same time as me and hard to find time to hang out I will spend more consideration on that person than I will on the party that a friend of a friend is throwing.

Am I wrong?

[bara]

People who are used to more conventional social interactions have difficulty seeing how people can become such close friends online.

People who play games like World Of Warcraft are generally there more for the social interaction rather than the game play, which consists of mindless farming in some cases that is extremely boring. However when you are chatting with your guild, online friends it is kinda fun because now you are on autopilot while playing the game and most of your attention is on the conversations.

[BlaqueKatt]

I personally would say if your online friends get in the way of offline socializing it may be a problem. Meaning if you're spending more time "visiting" with online friends and mostly ignoring others, it has become a problem.

Of course I've had people tell me they can't do x, y, or z, because their online gaming friends come first, this was during a very major depressive episode, and "not letting down my guild" took precedence over "human in severe emotional distress"-that should never happen, when it does you get the people that neglect their kids to the point of near death or actual death because of their obsession(and it could happen with other things as well, it just becomes easier with online gaming, as you do have the "social" aspect.)

[Andara Bledin]

I personally would say if your online friends get in the way of offline socializing it may be a problem. Meaning if you're spending more time "visiting" with online friends and mostly ignoring others, it has become a problem.

Why?

I'm not a huge fan of offline socializing, myself, and would much rather talk to a dozen or so people I'm quite fond who happen to be scattered across the world, than spend an evening at a party where I might actually talk to all of three people whose names I have trouble remembering, but who are also attending that party. And, yes, I have

That won't stop me from making plans to go have dinner with someone I don't see a lot, or, as is the case later this month, a bunch of us are going to hang out at a theme park for the 29th of Feb.

Of course I've had people tell me they can't do x, y, or z, because their online gaming friends come first, this was during a very major depressive episode, and "not letting down my guild" took precedence over "human in severe emotional distress"...

That has nothing to do with online vs offline interaction and everything to do with the person involved having a convenient excuse to not get involved with your emotional distress.

To be honest, I completely and utterly suck at dealing with emotional distress in person. I devolve into nothing more than a warm body that makes the occasional soothing sound; I'm about as useful as a pet. I'm far, far better at helping people with their troubles online, where I have enough physical distance that I don't so get caught up by their distress.

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

I prefer online interaction that doesn't require time coordination. But yes, YOU decide how you want to spend YOUR time, and you should generally stick with promises you've made, as you say in the first line. Of course, things can come up, but that's your decision to make too whether to change plans. Where the people are and how you are communicating doesn't enter into it, except perhaps as one of many factors in deciding which would be easier to arrange at another time.

[mooncat]

You do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you can't make it to a party. An invitation is not a command performance; you have a choice, and you can choose not to attend. All you have to say is, "I'm sorry, I have other plans." You have no obligation to tell them what those plans are. It's nobody else's business what you're going to be doing.

[jackfaire]

I prefer online interaction that doesn't require time coordination.

I do too but for whatever reasons occasionally I will become friends with someone who can't be on as often so to talk times have to be scheduled.

Or it's a friend I know IRL that moved further away than I can get to in an afternoon and we like to play video games together.

The OP wasn't so much about online to the exclusion of offline like missing my daughter's bday to talk to a friend online or anything.

It was more just "made plans at such time with X" Plans are presented that are no more important than the plans I already made and I choose to honor the plans I already made versus breaking them for other plans that aren't more important.

If hanging out online comes up against a friend of mine going through a break up then the latter trumps the former. But as in my example if it's play video game online with one friend or go play a video game with another friend in person I am going with the one I promised first.