Age Of Consent

[rdp78]

Its 18 in Virginia and that if you have sex with some under 15 its condersidered a felony but 15 and over it's a misdemeanor but I think if they are close in age charges should be drop. If you are under 18 and have sex with someone under 15 with consent but are more than 3 years apart its a felony but if its less than 3 its a misdemeanor. Also children under 13 are not considered consenting children. I found all of this on www.moraloutrage.net.

Also having premartial sex, living with your boyfriend/girlfriend and having an affair are all illegal in my state. I doubt many people have ever been arrested for these things but again you never know and I think the police have better things to do then getting in people's personal lives. I also read on Wiki that anything that's not penile-vaginal intercourse is illegal and labeled sodomy. I don't think it's anyone's business on what people are doing in their own bedrooms.

[Greenday]

That website posted by rdp was quite helpful in clearing up the laws. So for me, the ones that really apply are:

NJ
16 is old enough to consent
-If 16 or 17, we can't be related (uh, not a problem for me), I can't have legal authority of the person (not an issue), and I can't be a parent, guardian, etc. in their household.

PA
If a girl is 14 or older, mistaking her age is a legal defense, but if she's under 14, it is not. (Should never be a problem for me)
16 years old is over enough to consent
-But if under 18, cannot have sex with someone 4 or more years older than them unless they are married.

NJ seems like more sensible laws to me. I mean, PA's 4+ years laws isn't too bad, but still 16-20 isn't that big a difference.

[Flyndaran]

...
NJ seems like more sensible laws to me. I mean, PA's 4+ years laws isn't too bad, but still 16-20 isn't that big a difference.

I would think that it is usually a huge difference. It's usually the difference between living under the direct control of parents and living on one's own.
That's one life experience that can't be ignored.

[Flyndaran]

Secret revelation time:
I performed sexual acts when I was 11 and she was 8. In some areas I would be labeled a dangerous predator. I certainly regret my actions. I should have had enough forethought to recognize that that and other signs meant she was being abused by adults.
But should I have been arrested, put in jail, or what?

[Greenday]

I should have had enough forethought to recognize that that and other signs meant she was being abused by adults.
But should I have been arrested, put in jail, or what?

I don't think being arrested or jail time would have been appropriate at all. You didn't notice, you didn't notice.

Most 20 year olds I know don't live on their own, nor do they even pay their own gas or cell phone bills. Definitely not that drastically different from when they were 16.

[Flyndaran]

I don't think being arrested or jail time would have been appropriate at all. You didn't notice, you didn't notice.

Most 20 year olds I know don't live on their own, nor do they even pay their own gas or cell phone bills. Definitely not that drastically different from when they were 16.

I tried to say usually. But yes, many adults continue to live with family. I did, because my severe anxiety made it impossible to keep a job or even go outside very often.
But I thought it was almost assumed that every kid wants to leave home at the first available moment.
Still, it is the difference between high school and college.

[Boozy]

I performed sexual acts when I was 11 and she was 8....I certainly regret my actions. I should have had enough forethought to recognize that that and other signs meant she was being abused by adults.

At the age of eleven?? You don't actually believe this, do you? An 11 year-old is virtually incapable of that kind of insight. Well-educated adults know that sexually-precocious behaviour in very young girls is an indication of abuse. But I don't think anyone on earth would expect a child to know that.

Hindsight is always 20/20. There is no point in beating yourself up about this.

[Flyndaran]

At the age of eleven?? You don't actually believe this, do you? An 11 year-old is virtually incapable of that kind of insight. Well-educated adults know that sexually-precocious behaviour in very young girls is an indication of abuse. But I don't think anyone on earth would expect a child to know that.

Hindsight is always 20/20. There is no point in beating yourself up about this.

I understand why you and even my therepist for a different reason say this. But my intellectual development was quite different than most.
My logical situational analysis ability developed quite early.
I was two months when I made the connection between crying and getting attention. I was six when I realized that sunday school teachers actually believed the fantastic stuff they taught. My very mental nature is one of looking at situations to see fault and idiosincracies. I was even a toddler when I came to understand that parents are not perfect.
I'm not berrating myself or even overly regretful. Just recognising an avoidable sexual mistake. Too often today people aren't allowed to make such mistakes. They either are absolved of all responsibility or must take it all as if such actions were willfull.
I hate black and white government.



I also never went through the rebellious teen years

[Greenday]

Flyndaran, I was always much mentally older than my real age. I never went through rebellious teenage years. As a kid, I was probably more mature than most older teenagers (at least with the people I've experienced so far). I NEVER knew that sexually-precocious behaviour in very young girls is an indication of abuse. I didn't know that until maybe 2 years ago, freshman year in college at 18 years old. Some things you learn by picking them up yourself. Other things you can only learn by someone else teaching you it. This just happened to be one thing I learned by someone else teaching me it later on in life. You can't fault someone for that because it's just NOT obvious if you never knew it.

[Flyndaran]

Simple horniness without any other symptoms is perfectly normal in some girls as it is in some boys.
There were other signs of abuse. She showed a desire to manipulate me and a few other boys into meaningless games with oral sex as a reward.
That to us adults, of course, would be a giant red flag.

I don't dwell on it, but I prefer to always remember my mistakes. It keeps the ego in check.

[rdp78]

Flynn, I agree with Greenday and Boozy you shouldn't beat yourself over this. I mean you were only 11 and still a child, I mean not even a teenager yet. You might not have been charged with anything but still I don't think society would have given up on you at such a young age. You had no knowledge she was being abused or even hurt by adults.

Heck, to make you feel any better I'm 30 and still live with my parents. Interestingly enough I think I developed slower then normal. I mean from what my parents said I didn't talk correctly till I was 3 and had to be held back a grade in elementary school because I was too immature. Funny thing is I never really was a rebellious teen but I did have a temper that I'm still trying to control.

[fireheart17]

In Australia, with the exception of two states, the legal age for sexual consent is 16, the other two states are 17. This applies to heterosexual intercourse and homosexual intercourse with the exception of one state, where the legal age for homosexual affairs is 18 (don't ask me why )

I got really angry in high school when several people told me that the minimum age was 16 for girls, 17 for guys. This was mostly because I read a lot of teenage magazines where they stated that the minimum age of consent applied for both genders. I was also told this in several pamphlets distributed in Sex Ed. Apparaently a police pamphlet was stating this...my theory was "bull...".

The 2-year rule (i.e. if you're having sex with someone who's two years younger while one is underage) applies with the exception being homosexual sex. That is just beyond annoying IMHO because it tends to imply two things 1) that homosexuality is wrong (it isn't) and 2) that it somehow justifies a 15-year-old who's been manipulated into having sex.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Over here (England) AoC is 16 accross the board. It used to be 16 for straights and 18s for gays til pressure was brought to level the playing field.

I've noticed too that there's a skew when it comes to what's considered statatory rape; if it's the male who's older, it's more likely that charges will be brought than if it's the other way round. Re: the recent case of the fifteen year old girl who had a baby with the thirteen year old. Seeing as he looks around eight years old, I'd say that was seriously creepy and if it had been the other way round, ie a fifteen year old boy impregnating a twelve year old, you'd have to beat social services off with a stick.

[Flyndaran]

Flynn, I agree with Greenday and Boozy you shouldn't beat yourself over this. ...

Thanks. I just feel that if I took one moment to think with my brain I would have realized the enormity of the situation. That's why I felt so horrible when I was caught. Only then did it all hit me.

[Evandril]

Thanks. I just feel that if I took one moment to think with my brain I would have realized the enormity of the situation. That's why I felt so horrible when I was caught. Only then did it all hit me.

In my opinion, if you learned from what happened... Don't keep beating yourself up over it. Mistakes happen, even to the most careful of people. Learn from it, and never make the same mistake again. *shrugs* 'Tis all anyone can do, really