why I own and train monthly with a firearm

[Pedersen]

Wow, MadMike. I did not know of that. That's pretty damned horrific.

If I may, though, point people to this writeup of the whole tragedy. It was much easier for me to follow than it was for me to follow the one you linked to.

[Seshat]

Also consider the potential hot zones to be attacked: doorways and garages where you might be fumbling for car keys. Bus stops where you wait. Pretty much any transition zone between work/home/garage/fav.hangout. When walking to a doorway or car, always have your keys ready before you arrive. Also keys balled up in a fist will make a decent makeshift weapon.

From 'Gift of Fear':

* never run away, always run to. As in, don't just run blindly in any random direction: run towards people and lights.

* car parks and the trafficed places near transport hubs are the most likely places for an encounter. If you see anything suspicious in such places, go back. Go back to the lights and people of the transport hub or supermarket or whatever. Go back to the places where there may well be security officers.

* do NOT consider your car a safe place. You are too vulnerable while fumbling for keys and getting the door open and so forth. And windows can be smashed in. Lights and people are safer.


From my own knowledge:

* bystander effect or Kitty Genovese syndrome is your enemy. When you get to lights and people, target a specific person to help you. Go into a shop, go to a security officer, make your problem some specific individual's problem. Otherwise bystander effect can mean that noone tries to help you, because they all think someone else is 'more qualified'.


I learned about this in first aid training too. If you're helping an accident victim (or whatever), don't say 'someone call emergency', say 'you! do you have a phone? Good. YOU call emergency'. Otherwise everyone who's hanging around rubbernecking will think 'surely someone else has...'
So you do 'you, call emergency'. 'you, keep people from walking on the patient.' 'you do this' 'you do that'.
(If you're a team of two first responders, one look after the patient, the second makes rubberneckers do useful stuff.)

[Seshat]

Only one problem with this: not everybody can afford to just pick up roots and roll on, especially in this sucktacular economy. Moving is expensive even whilst done on the cheap.

And anyway, why should the victim have to move and leave behind an otherwise comfortable life? The stalker is the problem, not the location.

I know, and she shouldn't have to.

But it's something she should consider. Also, she should consider the likelihood that he'll try to follow - and the risk of someone she does tell slipping up and letting him find out where she is.

[Slytovhand]

Ummm - the only thing that I can think of saying is - remember to YELL out a warning. Try to do it before you shoot - just in case someone happens to overhear. Oh, and shooting in the back is apparently a bad idea...

BE safe! And I hope he pisses off and leaves you (and everyone else) alone.

But I do have to ask, why the hell is your number on your FB profile??? You could get all sorts trying to ring it (even with numbers that are too long for any sane person to have dialled you from )

[tropicsgoddess]

I would set the fb profile to private, keep all the updates and posts the stalker made on your profile for documentation. Keep all of the texts that he sends you and I cannot emphasize anymore to document as much as possible. Your PD is really slacking and they don't realize that something that may seem harmless can turn out to be the complete opposite and they don't know what the stalker could be capable of. If you know your stalker's name or any other pertinent info, get a restraining order against him right away! With all the articles and stuff you're telling us, your county/state/province needs to get their act together. Talon also made some good points, especially with holding your keys in your fist ala Freddy Kruger if you have to gouge out your assailant/stalker in the eyes.

[Shangri-laschild]

I have called the police numerous times, they refuse to do anything unless I am actually physically harmed(they claim they can't-as it would be harassing to him).

That sucks because I don't know about where you live, but here, calling that much is enough to get police action. It might not help, but research your laws and find out where the law stands.

I don't leave my apartment once I come home from work, as my husband works nights and he's figured out from my husband updating his FB status with "at home/at work"-when I'm home alone(which is every night).

Maybe ask your husband to set his FB to private or not post this since posts like that seem like they'd be a bit risky for you.....

My neighbours are constantly propping the security door open so their friends can come in for parties/to visit, as they're too lazy to answer the doorbell.

Doubt it will help, but maybe try talking to your landlord about this? At least seeing what he would say about you adding extra security to your personal door.

The son of our police chief is in jail for theft from the museum he worked at.

Please don't judge all police by their children. The son is in jail instead of dad having gotten him out of it. Not saying your police chief is an angle, just please don't base people entirely on their children.

Katt - good on you for exercising your right to bear arms. While you can't get a conceal and carry license, can you carry openly? Buy a nice holster and take it everywhere. Also, check to see what types of firearms you can legally carry if a pistol isn't allowed. Some states have loopholes where you can carry a shotgun or rifle openly but not concealed.

Nope. Unfortunetly not allowed either

You should also be sure to document everything that he's done and everything that happens from here on out - especially dates, times, durations, etc. In a worst case scenario that results in you having to discharge your firearm you will have evidence to support your decision. And to stave off a potential 'wrongful death' lawsuit by the lunatic's family. Sad that our litigious society is so bad that I can think of that as a likely result in a clear case of self defense.

Also, though it may not help much, document what contact you have with the police about it, who you talked to, and when. Either it will help later down the line so that you can show that you keep having to talk to them, or it will help in the end so that you can show that you did try to get them involved. Best of luck. It sucks when police don't do their jobs. Are they any better in the cities right next door?

[BlaqueKatt]

But I do have to ask, why the hell is your number on your FB profile??? You could get all sorts trying to ring it (even with numbers that are too long for any sane person to have dialled you from )

it's set so only my friends can see it-hence the reason you were able to see it and scare the bejeebus out of me by calling.........

[Slytovhand]

Well... I figured you might have wanted someone to talk to... I'm weird like that (btw, wouldn't have been that expensive... $1.98 for 30 mins!!)

[Tanasi]

BK If you have to shoot this goomer don't try the shootem in the leg stuff aim for center of mass and let fly. I'm proud of you for training with your gun it's important to keep your skills sharp, it's also important to gain new skills maybe check out local gun shops to see if someone is offering advanced classes. I've taught and trained my kids, wife and anyone that wanted to learn how to use handgun in tactical situations. My 10yo daughter can effectivly fire her handgun with either hand supported or not. My two oldest have their carry permits and I bought them the handgun of their choice and for ammo all they have to do is ask.
Shooting someone is a hell-of-a-thing to live with, I know from experience but it's easier for you to live with than than the loss that your family will experience from your demise. A few cliche`s that have a lot of truth in them:
"When seconds count the police are minutes away."
"I'd rather be tried by 12 good citizens than carried by 6."
"God made mankind, Col. Colt made them equal."
Good luck and be safe.

[Nyoibo]

If the cops won't do anything, I dare say take the law into your own hand. He ever dares gain entrance into your apartment, shoot him. In the leg or foot. Then call the cops. They'll come.

On advice given to me and my dad by cops in several US states and various martial arts instructors, don't, shoot to kill, do whatever is necesary to stop him and don't become a statistic. From both a Physical safety and legal standpoint it's better to kill than wound.

There are very few circumstances where I advocate violence seriously, but personal safety is one of them.

[Slytovhand]

I'll just put in a slight alteration to what Nyoibo said...

Shoot to the area of largest body mass in order to stop the person in the safest possible way. "No, your honour, I wasn't trying to kill, I was just trying to stop him... so I aimed for the largest target I thought I could hit". Phrasing could be rather important later... (not that things will ever get to that stage!!!!!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

On advice given to me and my dad by cops in several US states and various martial arts instructors, don't, shoot to kill, do whatever is necesary to stop him and don't become a statistic. From both a Physical safety and legal standpoint it's better to kill than wound.

There are very few circumstances where I advocate violence seriously, but personal safety is one of them.

Absolutely. I agree with every word of this.

Let me get this straight: The cops won't do their jobs, yet you "aren't allowed" to carry a gun?

Heheheheh. That's cute.

The laws won't protect you. You have to do whatever you have to do to protect yourself. Stalkers kill people. Don't be one of them.

Also, cops down here never want to do their job, either. Best way I've found to get them to put the dougnuts down and get off their asses is to print off copies of you local law (in this case, stalking) and present it to them when they ggive their little speech about how they "can't do anything about it." If they realize that they can't effectively lie to you about what is legal and what isn't, and what your rights are, they may actually do something.

Start papers on the guy. You don't have to press charges to start a police record on the situation.

[Akasa]

I'm sorry you are being stalked. I'm pretty sure there are anti-stalking laws everywhere these days so follow teh advice of looking up the laws, printing them out and take the print outs down to the police station and demand a restraining order.
If they still refuse use the media. They'll love hearing how the police refuse to help w/ a stalker till the stalker actually harms you.