Host vs Guest

[Shangri-laschild]

This guy has a genuine phobia so therefore, my mum is happy to put the cat elsewhere.

Question for those with dogs: what would you do if a friend's child is terrified of dogs and they have been invited over?

While they are different things, I'd categorize stuff like that along the same lines as food allergies when it comes to being a host. Accommodate how you can within reason.

[mathnerd]

But there was one person who had the most badly behaved dog that would jump all over everyone. This person thought it was the funniest thing ever to see me (aged 6) screaming and crying while trying to scale fences and trees because their large dog was jumping all over me and everyone else. (Only visited this person at their home twice and the second time I refused to get out of the car.)

As a parent, I would have cut the visit short as soon as an ill-behaved dog started jumping all over my kid, then I would have read that dog's human the riot act and never gone back over. This, of course, assuming the dog's human did nothing to stop the interaction. Nobody is allowed to hurt my child. If I have to choose between a life long friendship and my kid, well, it was good to know you, ex-friend.

I wouldn't have a dog that behaved that badly, as all the dogs I've ever owned have been very well trained, but I do tend to adopt giant breed dogs, so some people are scared of them. Each situation is unique, so I can't say there's a hard and fast rule. For the most part, putting the dog in the yard or in another part of the house is perfectly okay for short visits, but anything longer than a couple hours I'd have to reconsider if I was really able to host that person.

[Aragarthiel]

I have problems going to dinner at my in-laws', because sometimes they'll leave their massive pit bull/boxer mix out and even though she's as sweet as can be, she'll take food right out of your hand if it gets too close to her face. Animals that beg should ALWAYS be put away for meals, no questions asked.

[Andara Bledin]

Animals that beg should be taught not to beg. This isn't hard for owners who really care about their animals.

[NecCat]

Question for those with dogs: what would you do if a friend's child is terrified of dogs and they have been invited over?

For many of the years I owned an (80lb shepardXmalamute) dog I also lived in a one room apartment with no yard. When I had visitors I would make him lay on his bed, and explain to the person visiting that that was his bed, and he wasn't to be touched when he was there. If they wanted to pet they had to call him over for petting. Some people got brave and called him to pet, a couple people started ignoring him after it was obvious he was going to sit on the bed indefinitely, and one girl was so scared twenty minutes into the visit that her dad cut the visit short and left. If I had had a large yard I would have put him in it for a while so she could have relaxed and visited a bit, but I wasn't going to put him in the truck alone and it was too cold out for us to go outside without him.

Animals that beg should be taught not to beg. This isn't hard for owners who really care about their animals.

He was a shameless beggar, but I really didn't know how to train him to stop since his begging routine was to sit near the table and stare sadly at the people eating. If I sent him to his bed he would sit on his bed and stare sadly at the people eating. How do you train a dog to not look in a certain direction or with a certain expression on his face? He wouldn't take food from people without a specific invitation though.

[Andara Bledin]

Ah, well, you can't really do much about the staring.

When I think of a dog begging, it's more of a sitting next to the person eating or putting paws on them or the like.

[Aragarthiel]

Most begging animals just stare at you, occasionally making a noise or drooling. My mom's cats will sit by your feet and watch you. It's a step down from being in your face like they used to be, until she taught them that if they stay down (and what she's eating isn't too cat-unfriendly, scrambled eggs for example) she'll put her plate on the floor so they can have the crumbs.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Speaking of children or people terrified of dog's;

I had a friend who trained his dog that whenever he was to meet a new person, he was to lie down, and then roll over on to his back and dangle his legs in the air and stay there until told to do otherwise.

The owner didn't even have to command him to do it. The dog scented and saw a new person, would sit down and just roll over onto his back and stay there. Of course, his ENTIRE BODY was wiggling the entire time along with his tail, but it really helped a lot of people who were nervous or fearful of dogs to be okay with at least this dog. For people who were particularly nervous, every time this dog (his name was Striker) scented them he would immediately go onto his back and wiggle around happily - even if he knew them already.

For people he had seen before or knew (and weren't the nervous types), he would race at them, and then stop short like two feet away and sit down, wiggling all over again because HAPPY PUPPY!!!

The only person this did not apply to was his owner. As soon as the owner got to the door the dog would run away from it to get a head start, and when the door opened he would charge him. We don't know why - never hurt the owner, but would occasionally get a stray scrape or bump that he didn't mind.

This dog was 100% American Statfordshire Terrier. Cutest damn dog I ever saw.

Basically, with my dogs, they're all trained (and future dogs will be trained) that they are allowed to greet people only when I tell them they are allowed. So if I know someone is terrified of dogs, I give the dog to command to not greet. I won't necessarily put them out of the house or room, but that's because I know my dogs know when I say "No" they pretty much ignore the person 100%.

Though, I have to say, that one guy who came over (it was a friend of a friend) said that he had been bitten by a dog and was not comfortable with them. I said, "That's okay" and told the dogs to ignore him. The dogs did. They greeted the others that they knew, and straight up avoided getting anywhere close to this guy. They didn't even look at him.

Guy ended up getting bitten before he left my house. Why? Because while I was in the kitchen getting the popcorn and pigs-in-blankets, he was "testing" my dogs by purposefully moving at them. They tried to avoid, and he pushed one of them by cornering him. I have NO idea what he was trying to accomplish. I told them to leave him the hell alone so he should've left THEM the hell alone.

Maybe he was trying to prove that all dogs are vicious beasts that will bite at the least provocation or something. That friend of a friend was very quickly no longer a friend of a friend.

[s_stabeler]

Guy ended up getting bitten before he left my house. Why? Because while I was in the kitchen getting the popcorn and pigs-in-blankets, he was "testing" my dogs by purposefully moving at them. They tried to avoid, and he pushed one of them by cornering him. I have NO idea what he was trying to accomplish. I told them to leave him the hell alone so he should've left THEM the hell alone.

Maybe he was trying to prove that all dogs are vicious beasts that will bite at the least provocation or something. That friend of a friend was very quickly no longer a friend of a friend.

um yeah... if someone tried to do that to a dog around me, then the dog would be the least of their problems. lets just say that they wouldn't need asking to leave...

[Aragarthiel]

It's no wonder how he got bitten in the first place... idiot.

[mathnerd]

I had a friend who trained his dog that whenever he was to meet a new person, he was to lie down, and then roll over on to his back and dangle his legs in the air and stay there until told to do otherwise.

My dogs have always been trained to sit down a few feet away from a person and look at me for permission to approach the new person. It's a necessary skill for a giant breed dog, as their sheer size can intimidate even dog lovers.

[Peppergirl]

My dog does beg (by sitting and staring) and occasionally still gets excited and wants to jump up when a guest first comes in the house.

Therefore, when guests come to my home he's crated or put on the screened porch. My dog, my responsibility. I'm certainly not going to have him running roughshod over the needs and desires (and safety) of my guests.

My issues are not with the people who have poorly behaved dogs. My issue is that often times those particular people often seem to also think the needs and desires of that (poorly behaved) dog should trump a human visitor. That's what bothers me.

My dog can be poorly behaved occasionally, but I mitigate it by crating him or removing him from the scene when I have guests. I don't understand people who can't/won't do that if their dog is rambunctious. It makes me sad for the dog, too.

[Blue Ginger]

For many of the years I owned an (80lb shepardXmalamute) dog I also lived in a one room apartment with no yard. When I had visitors I would make him lay on his bed, and explain to the person visiting that that was his bed, and he wasn't to be touched when he was there. If they wanted to pet they had to call him over for petting. Some people got brave and called him to pet, a couple people started ignoring him after it was obvious he was going to sit on the bed indefinitely,

Your dog sounds like the best kind of dog for me to be around. I am still not very good with dogs I don't know, but I am fine with dogs that have been well trained and I know.

My family now has 4 dogs (3 mixed terriers and 1 pure border collie) between us all and they have all been 'bed trained' like yours. Basically, they greet visitors by sniffing their feet and then get into their beds. If the person wants to pat or play, one of the family have to call them over.

Bit of extra info on the stupid owner with the big dog: Mum was holding a freaked out 2 year old and dad was trying to comfort a freaked out 8 year old. One of the other adults ended up picking me up and taking me inside and locking the dog outside. We were there for a BBQ with a club my dad was part of and there were quite a number of families with young kids. We left before the BBQ was even started and that person was not allowed to host a gathering at their house again.
The second time was to pick up some paperwork and us kids stayed in the car.

[protege]

This is my cats' home, as well as mine. This is their safe space, and therefore no dogs are allowed, period.

I wouldn't let dogs in my place either. My cats don't exactly like company, and usually hide if someone shows up.

About the cats, I've had guests made snide comments about the fur that is sometimes on the carpet. I keep it as clean as I can. But, when one of your cats is a very fluffy Maine Coon, there's bound to be some fur here and there. To those people, I say "They live here, you don't. Don't like the fur? Fuck off"

[Panacea]

Speaking of children or people terrified of dog's;

I had a friend who trained his dog that whenever he was to meet a new person, he was to lie down, and then roll over on to his back and dangle his legs in the air and stay there until told to do otherwise.

What a cool idea. If I ever get a dog, I will try this.

Guy ended up getting bitten before he left my house. Why? Because while I was in the kitchen getting the popcorn and pigs-in-blankets, he was "testing" my dogs by purposefully moving at them. They tried to avoid, and he pushed one of them by cornering him. I have NO idea what he was trying to accomplish. I told them to leave him the hell alone so he should've left THEM the hell alone.

Guy deserved to get bitten. He cornered the dog, dog got scared and acted defensively. A bite was foreseeable and predictable. Stupid ass.

I wouldn't let dogs in my place either. My cats don't exactly like company, and usually hide if someone shows up.

About the cats, I've had guests made snide comments about the fur that is sometimes on the carpet. I keep it as clean as I can. But, when one of your cats is a very fluffy Maine Coon, there's bound to be some fur here and there. To those people, I say "They live here, you don't. Don't like the fur? Fuck off"

After my experience with my cousin's little beast (very poorly socialized rat terrier that she babied), I'm much more hesitant about allowing dogs in my house as well. Beast had gone after Stumps (my cat at the time), and he'd done nothing to her, hadn't growled or hissed, was just sitting there. He won that fight, and my cousin got just hysterical thinking her dog was mortally wounded.

I love my cousin, I really do. She's a great person. But she's a terrible dog owner, and I was glad to see the beast go.

I'm OK with Goldie, one of Evil Empryss's dogs, because Goldie is actually afraid of cats and so submissive that she won't go anywhere near Taz when she's in my house.

Copper is another matter. He'd go after Taz, thinking he was just playing, because her fear (Taz doesn't like dogs) would activate his prey drive. She'd get hurt, and then I'd kill Copper (and I'm not so sure I'm being figurative about this).

When EE and the kids spent a few nights with me last summer just before they moved, Copper had to be on a leash anytime he left the guest bedroom. Goldie could roam free, though she stuck close to EE as a matter of course.

It worked out OK, but I admit to being a bit nervous.