Not sharing recipes?

[MaggieTheCat]

I guess I just don't understand this, so maybe someone can share some insight. I have a friend who made a delicious sounding meal a few days ago (she was talking about it on her Facebook.) I said it sounded really good and asked her if I could have the recipe. She said she got the recipe from a close friend of her's and wanted to ask her friend if it was ok before giving me the recipe.

Well, my friend's friend said it wasn't ok to give me the recipe, so now I'm kinda bummed out. I could probably make something similar to it or find a similar recipe by google searching, but really, what's the big deal? This person doesn't own a restaurant or any other kind of business where she's making money on this dish and doesn't want the recipe to get out. She just doesn't want strangers to have it.

I always thought food was about sharing with others...even (and sometimes especially) with strangers. I love giving and getting recipes. I make up my own recipes, or tweak existing ones, and I love telling people about them if they turn out well. I've posted recipes on CS and I would happily give a stranger a recipe if they asked for it, or if they were a friend of a friend and asked for it. So I just don't get why someone would be so protective of something like this.

[ExRetailDrone]

That kind of mentality doesn't make sense to me, either. Under certain circumstances, I get it - having a popular dish for a restaurant that makes a person money, like you mentioned, I can see why that person wouldn't want the recipe getting out (like Red Lobster and those nummy biscuits). But just because someone doesn't want a stranger having it? Um, what? Talk about never learning how to share with others as a child.

Hell, I was an only child and hated sharing things when I was younger. Sometimes I'm still bad with sharing, depending. But I love sharing recipes! I have pictures on my Facebook of recipes that I have tried and that turned out well that I'm proud of, and when people ask I happily give them either the recipe or the link to where I got it from. AllRecipes is an awesome website, by the way

[MaggieTheCat]

I love Allrecipes. I go there almost every day to browse the daily recipes. I think I have like 750 recipes saved to my recipe box...most of them I haven't tried (yet) but I've gotten a lot of really good recipes or at least ideas to form my own recipes.

[HYHYBT]

Everybody has to be special in some way, I guess... and if just *anybody* could make that wonderful liver-and-chocolate-ice-cream dish that Aunt Bea always brings to dinners, who would ooh and aaw over it anymore?

Yes, I think it's silly too. Not sure which is worse: those who refuse to give a recipe, or those who will give it out but spoil it in some way.

(I just wish Grandma had written hers down. She kept everything she ever made in her head, and I've still never found, for instance, a caramel cake like hers. I did, very unexpectedly, find a barbecue sauce exactly like the one she used to make, at a buffet named "Chin-am" or something similar, somewhere in the Detroit area, but of course it was on the food, not for sale.)

[Ree]

I work with a girl who does that.

Every time we have any kind of a pot luck meal, she always brings her meatballs.
The sauce is delicious.

Over the years, people have asked her for the recipe for the sauce and she always says that it's a family recipe and she can't give it out.

I am a very good cook.
I quite often get asked for the recipes when I make something and share it.

I tend to think that sharing recipes is a good thing, and I never hesitate to give a recipe to anyone who asks.

My only problem is that a lot of my recipes come from my head and through experimenting, so I always tell them I can't guarantee the same results.

[RavenStarr]

I don't get why your friend would have to ask her friend if it was okay to give you the recipe

I mean did she swear in blood or something to never give anyone her friend's recipe? Did said friend threaten a curse or to end the friendship? I would ask her that.

She could have just given you the recipe. It's not like her friend would know.

[Andara Bledin]

One thing to remember is that recipes are intellectual property. Just like music and writing.

While most people aren't that protective of their own recipes, others are much less free with giving away what they've worked hard to learn.

^-.-^

[Boozy]

If someone plans to open a restaurant one day with their recipes, they should be very protective about giving them away for free. They need to establish their value early on for intellectual property laws to protect them.

[Salesmonkey]

I hate to be the opposite view, but I make a point of never telling people my recipes. I try to make fun of this, though. I tell them that if they really want to learn how to make my liver - asafoetida - limburger - and old sock souffle that I will gladly accompany them to the store and guide them through the assembly process (because this assumes I will be invited to the party). I won't just give any asking person a recipe. I appreciate that some people ask out of politeness, to compliment the chef. But if they really want to learn how to make the dish, well then I need to be on hand to teach them. It's an insult to the food to think that a merely written down process will do the job.

[Andara Bledin]

It's an insult to the food to think that a merely written down process will do the job.

And yet, thousands of people manage to make new dishes from recipes out of books and online all the time.

^-.-^

[MaggieTheCat]

Yeah, I'm don't really understand how that can be insulting, but that's just me. If someone was that adamant about needing to "teach" me how to cook a specific recipe, I would not be interested; I would probably find that to be hovering, and I don't particularly like to be told every little thing to do, especially in the kitchen. Almost every recipe that I have ever made, I have altered in some way to meet my and my husband's needs/tastes. I have some food allergies and he can be a bit picky, especially when it comes to vegetables, so I end up doing some altering in most cases. Even if all the ingredients are to our liking, I still end up cutting a lot of dishes in half or so because it's just the two of us, and recipes written for families of 4+ make too much for us.

[AdminAssistant]

And frequently, all people want is the basic guidelines, which they can then add and subtract from as they wish. My mom makes a fantastic macaroni casserole. I made it for some friends, subbing in additional veggies, etc. One of my friends loved it so much that she makes it all the time, but with different substitutions. It's a very different dish than what my Mom makes, but it's still darn tasty.

There are some things that just *can't* be replicated. My Mom makes fabulous no-bake cookies (we call them boiled cookies). It's a rather simple recipe, and she happily gives it to whoever asks, but nobody can make them the way she can. She's made them so often for so many years that her technique is just perfect. I can come pretty close, but that's because I spent so many years sitting on the counter watching her make the damn things. But she doesn't hog the recipe. She just gives it to people with the warning that they probably won't turn out exactly right the first time (or two).

[Sarah Valentine]

if just *anybody* could make that wonderful liver-and-chocolate-ice-cream dish that Aunt Bea always brings to dinners, who would ooh and aaw over it anymore?

This is exactly why I have never, don't now and will never give out my chicken soup recipe. However my mushroom meatloaf recipe is for anyone.

[HYHYBT]

If it's good enough to keep secret, please preserve it for posterity by writing it down somewhere that will be found when you're gone.

[Daskinor]

We have family secret ingredients and recipes that we use for contests and events. In fact my fiancée is a little miffed at my grandmother because she wont let me tell her what the secret ingredient is, yet.

I do get flack at work because I will bring in dishes we cook for these contests and I refuse to tell people the recipe. I just say "If I told you my grandmother would come after me with her wooden spoon. And its a big spoon."