Gift or No Gift?

[AdminAssistant]

So, a friend of mine is having a birthday party Saturday night. It's at a bar/restaurant that has karaoke on that night. Everyone is paying for their own dinners. My friend specifically stated on the Facebook event page to not bring presents. The act of making time for the event and buying meals is our gift to her, right?

Another friend posted on the event wall, "I've got your gift picked out and you're going to love it!!!" *sigh* What the shit, man. I realize that those two are very close friends, and the fact that she would get a gift for her makes sense. But keep it private and exchange some other time, y'know? It makes those of us that don't have the time or money to shop for a birthday gift look bad.

[Andara Bledin]

Pay for drinks/dinner for the birthday friend, and maybe set her up for a round or two of karaoke.

Ignore the other tacky friend for being tacky and get on with your life.

That's what I'd do.

^-.-^

[AdminAssistant]

The karaoke is free. At most, we'd only be able to afford one drink for the birthday girl on top of our own drinks/dinner. There's a really big group going (20 or so), so she'll be well taken care of. As you may have guessed, the tacky friend is the same one who made off-hand remarks about the fact that I got chocolate frozen yogurt for dessert.

[blas87]

Let the friend do the gift thing, you just do what you originally intended.

Unless this is one of those "games" where people really want something even though they say they don't....well, no one has time for that stuff.

[Greenday]

Gifts aren't really appropriate for that kind of setting. They'll just take up precious space and be in the way. If you are giving someone a birthday gift and that's how you are celebrating, I'd give it before or after the party.

[AdminAssistant]

If I know her, she'll bring it so that she can bring extra attention to the fact that, "I brought this awesome gift!!! Everyone look at the gift I bought!!! I'm better than all of you!!!" Thing is, she's only been like this fairly recently. Maybe there's some stuff going on at home (her husband and other family is in another state) that's causing her to act batshit crazy.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Just because someone is doing something the guest of honor specifically requested not be done, and then furthered the faux pas by publicly broadcasting it, does not create an obligation for you.

In other words, just because someone does something tacky, does not make it required or even okay for you to do it, too.

Ignore this person and get on with your life.

[Peppergirl]

Ugh. That puts the host of the party in such an uncomfortable position too. I'd hate to be sitting there, having a gift thrust upon me after I specifically requested 'no gifts'. Way to make things awkward!

Definitely let us know how it went.

[AdminAssistant]

It was last night. The "gift" was actually a gag gift - pink underwear with "WINNING!" on the butt. However, she invited a Ukrainian* and he brought her a lovely gift (a journal from Ukraine with a traditional pattern). But that's a cultural thing. He literally could not go to someone's birthday party without a gift.

*She's going to Lviv this summer and is part of his language group to learn how to speak Ukrainian better.