Only Children

[protege]

I was an only child...for the first 2 years of my life. Then my brothers were hatched...and things went to shit. Let's just say that my dad's not exactly happy with how my brothers turned out. Both are incredibly unmotivated and selfish. Why? Simply put, because my mother tolerates it. She tends to fawn all over them. She shouldn't have to do that--both of them are in their 30s, yet still live at home? At least she has commented that I "don't screw around," and that she thinks highly of me.

[smileyeagle1021]

I'm an only child. What that woman said really irks me. My parents did not choose to have just me. Doctors had told them that my mom would never be able to get pregnant.

My parents had a very similar experience to yours, except for my mother was healthy, I was the one in danger... my mom calls her a miracle baby, and while I don't believe in miracles anymore, I will say she had damned good doctors... she had been told she could never have a pregnancy go to term, she had one miscarriage before me and with her pregnancy with me she had already decided that the second attempt would be her last... and I came 7 weeks early without fully developed lungs. I have come out mostly healthy (still some issues, but not more so than your average person), but I barely survived the first month and even if she hadn't already decided that was going to be her last pregnancy, she would be one selfish bitch to risk putting another child in that situation.

Dad's an only child ("child" being an odd thing to call someone in his 60's, but there you are) and has often said he envies us, his children, because he never had a brother or sister, and can never know that kind of relationship except secondhand.

I agree with him. The hardest part of growing up was seeing the good relationships between all my friends and their siblings and then going home alone. I wouldn't want to have an only child because I wouldn't want to put them through that, but I don't think that really changes how well adjusted an individual is.

I The other was an underdeveloped ability to have an argument

^-.-^

I got lucky on that one... I never argued with siblings, oh no, I got to argue with my mother and my grandmother. I didn't get to get away with using the "you're a poopy head" argument, no if I wanted to win, I had to actually use tactics and arguing skills. Especially my grandmother. I hated her growing up because she loved to pick fights... it wasn't until I was fully grown that she wasn't picking fights, she was teaching me how to win fights.

I was an only child...for the first 2 years of my life. Then my brothers were hatched...and things went to shit. Let's just say that my dad's not exactly happy with how my brothers turned out. Both are incredibly unmotivated and selfish. Why? Simply put, because my mother tolerates it. She tends to fawn all over them. She shouldn't have to do that--both of them are in their 30s, yet still live at home? At least she has commented that I "don't screw around," and that she thinks highly of me.

Protege, you apparently come from the same family as my husband. The biggest fuck up that I know is one of 5 children, my husband's older brother (criminal record, chronically unemployed, steals from his own family, and mooches off of people... oh and we suspect he's an addict and an alcoholic.) So much for having siblings making someone well adjusted, but it is exactly what you described, his mother tolerates it and refuses to put him in his place (my father in law whom I love wants to kick his ass to the curb and tell him best of luck on the streets).

So as others have said, it doesn't matter whether the child is an only child or one of half a dozen (or more), it's all about the parenting.

[HYHYBT]

I did have a bit of an unusual arrangement, growing up, and whether it was more good than bad is hard to tell. Dad and Mom had a custody fight, and I guess the judge decided to play Solomon that day because he sent me to Dad and my two brothers to Mom. We also had different visitation schedules, so depending on the weekend, we might each stay where we were during the week, or they'd go to Dad's while I was at Mom's, or we'd all be together, and half the time theirs changed Sunday morning and mine evening. It was a mess... but it did also mean that we were apart enough to appreciate the average-one-day-a-week we were together.

[Racket_Man]

My sister and I were so far apart age-wise that I don't know that it really helped me much. (She's five years older.) .

I was an "OOOPPPSSS" almost meno-pause baby.


with the age difference between me and my siblings I could be in some ways considered an "only child". the youngest is 13 years older and the oldest is 17 years older. by the time I reached my "toddlerhood" they were all away at college, getting married and moving to various locations outside my birthcity.

the other thing that set us apart was my parents shifting their parenting style around 180 degrees. "they" got to do lots of outside stuff (like scouting, swimteam, volleyball team,etc.), me restricted, them lots of support praise and encouragement, me "your DUMB", them "go to college and do great things with your life, me "well MAYBE you could go to some trade school but we do not have hope"

I am not spoiled or self-centered

my daughter on the other hand IS an only child. but that was purely for medical reasons on the part of my Ex. the Doctors told here another pregancy WOULD kill her (massive problems with daughters gestation)