I hardly think this was my fault....

[DrFaroohk]

So little 7 year old Jimmy was hanging out over at the neighbor kids house with two other kids, across the street, and they got horsing around and busted up some of another neighbor's property. Nothing really really major - they busted the windows out of this two thousand year old truck and were banging on a tool shed with a crowbar. Left lots of marks on it. Again, no REAL damage, not like they busted the windows out of his Lexus and burned his house town.

The owner isn't exceptionally pissed either, but he would like some minor compensation for the damage.

Thing is....I fail to see why any of this is my fault. I wasn't there, it wasn't on my property this happened....right?

[Greenday]

So, if someone busts the windows in on your car, you wouldn't expect them to pay for it? Somehow I doubt that.

[DrFaroohk]

Yeah I'd blame the person who broke it. I didn't break it. Besides there was 2 other kids there and mine wasn't even the oldest one e.g. "Ringleader". They have parents too.

[HYHYBT]

Then you each should owe 1/3 of whatever it costs to fix the damage, unless it's known that one did it all while the others just happened to be there.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You're responsible for your kid. If three kids were involved horsing around, you owe a third of the cost of the window.

It doesn't matter that you personally didn't break the window. Someone you are personally responsible for did.

If the neighbor's dog I am currently bitching about on another thread ran up and bit me, you can bet your sweet ass the owner could and would be held responsible. It's the same sort of thing.

Not only that, whoever was supposed to be supervising these kids wasn't doing a very good job as this happened on his watch. However, bottom line is you're ultimately responsible because it's your kid.

[DrFaroohk]

Actually 1/3 sounds totally fair and is the answer I was looking for. If it comes up at all - guy might not even really want money. Again, nothing of actual value was really damaged - it's more the principle of the thing.

I wouldn't so much blame the watch commander either, as they were just letting the kids play outside. It's not like they said "Hey go a mile down the road and trash someone's stuff."

So 1/3 is fine with me, IF my kid was actually involved. "Present at the time" != "Involved" however.

[Ree]

they busted the windows out of this two thousand year old truck

Huh?

Yeah, 1/3 of the cost for each child involved is only fair.
The decent and responsible thing is to make the offer of restitution for damage instead of waiting to see if he wants to be compensated.
That teaches your child a life lesson that actions have consequences, and you own up to your screwups.

[DrFaroohk]

It's not a 2000 year old truck. It's just a very very old ass truck that sits there and holds the weeds up and serves as a storage place for some trash. The 2000 year old thing was what I like to call an exaggeration.

[Ree]

Nothing really really major - they busted the windows out of this two thousand year old truck and were banging on a tool shed with a crowbar. Left lots of marks on it. Again, no REAL damage

Even if the truck is a junker, do you know how much it costs to replace or repair shed parts that have been banged up with a crowbar?

It's not cheap.

[kiwi]

If your kid damages someone elses property you should pay for it. Even if you weren't there you are legally and financally responsible for your offspring until they are considered adults by the state.
I would be paying the guy the compensation he is asking for and then making my kid do work (chores, weeding the garden, paper round) until he paid me back the money.
Oh and his arse would be GROUNDED.

[insertNameHere]

I guess I would find out if my kid was involved, like mentioned it is possible to be present and not be responsible for someone else being an idiot. Growing up in my old neighbor, I got blamed for plenty of shit that my friends did.... even if I wasn't present like my mom said "So this happened at 2:30?.... well since he was with me getting his hair cut, go blame someone else"

Kink, if your neighbors dog is running around with 2 other neighbors dogs (X and Y), if X and Ys dogs attack you, why should Z get to pay your bills because his dog sat there and licked his balls while this all went down.

[Boozy]

Come on, now.

Your kid was involved.

Don't be THAT parent. "My precious little Jimmy could never do anything like that."

Besides, I got punished several times as a child for merely being present while trouble-making was happening, and although I thought so at the time, it wasn't unfair.

You know what it taught me? To speak up for what's right even under peer presure, and if that always fails,to pick better friends. Good life lessons.

[Ree]

You know what it taught me? To speak up for what's right even under peer presure, and if that always fails,to pick better friends. Good life lessons.

Exactly!!!

This is the time for your son to learn how to pick friends, and how to learn to walk away from them when they are making stupid choices.

A few years ago, I let my daughter hang out for the day with some friends in the neighbouring town.

My sister, who lives there, and works in a store there, looked up to see my daughter at her counter in the afternoon. My daughter wanted to go to my sister's house until her Dad was done work.

She told my sister that these friends had decided it would be fun to "paint" some walls on a few buildings. My daughter said, "No way," and walked away from it.

My sister was quite proud of her for that choice, as were my husband and I.

In the end, apparently, after she walked away, a couple of her other friends also reconsidered and left. There were only 2 losers who went ahead and defaced the walls. (They got caught by the police.)

If my daughter had stayed, even if she didn't lift a finger, I would have made her help pay for part of the damages, because she was still part of the group.

[Evandril]

If my daughter had stayed, even if she didn't lift a finger, I would have made her help pay for part of the damages, because she was still part of the group.

Thank you Parenting doesn't stop just because you can't see your kid, and "I didn't do it, I was just watching!" is one of the worst excuses out there... If something is wrong, you do what Ree's daughter did, you remove yourself from the problem, or, at best, get someone who can *stop* the problem from happening (Like an adult!)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Kink, if your neighbors dog is running around with 2 other neighbors dogs (X and Y), if X and Ys dogs attack you, why should Z get to pay your bills because his dog sat there and licked his balls while this all went down.

If all of them were attacking me in a pack, and one of them bit me, you can bet your sweet ass all of their owners would get sued down to their tighty whiteys. It's a pack of dogs, I'm not going to differentiate between "well, that dog bit me on the leg, and this other dog just growled at me" and neither would a court. All of their owners were in violation of leash laws and party to their dogs causing trouble.

All the kids were horsing around. In the course of their collective horsing around, damage occurred. It doesn't' really matter who actually had their hand on the crowbar. I think a third of damages is fair. And I agree the kid should help pay it off. There are a plethora of life lessons to be learned by these kids from this experience. That it was a junker truck is simply a plus, in my book. Minimum monetary damages, maximum lesson learned. Win-win.