Why is it so hard to debate?

[DrFaroohk]

Not trying to stir the pot here, just wonder...why is it so "hard" to debate personal stuff?

I know I for one tend to get pissy in them, but it's not because I take things personally, I just always get pissed when people don't read my posts and make their own version of things. Beyond that, people post all kinds of personal shit about in laws and jobs and whatnot and it doesn't have to get out of control.

So other than the occasional pissiness, what's so hard? Because you can't do your own research? So what? Debate the facts given to you in the message. It doesn't have to be public news to simply go over what information you have.

[Rapscallion]

The issue we look for as moderators is whether or not people are taking it personally and attacking each other.

As to why people do that - fuck, it's the Internet. It's a bloodless and faceless screen, and people often don't have the same concern that they would when facing a living person.

Rapscallion

[blas87]

Boozy made a really good point in another thread, that when we post threads that involve our personal lives (save for members who know each other offline), we only have one person's point of view and no real evidence to be researched to prove otherwise. All you really have to go by is what is posted.

It's also easy to misinterpret what is written, and I think perhaps some members may skim or not read the past page or two before putting in their opinion.

[bainsidhe]

People have wildly different opinions that are influenced by a gazillion different things. Every post I read is interpreted through the filter of my own experiences and understanding. That interpretation is"my own version of things". Just because I disagree with someone doesn't mean I don't read every single word of the thread.

And when people start trying harder to make their point, both sides get heated and all chances of a reasonable debate are lost. Too bad, some of the threads get pretty interesting.

[DrFaroohk]

Well it's all good and well to have your own understanding of things, but one thing that bugs me is people who just make up their own shit to make it fit in with their perspective.

Like if I were to say "Man I got assaulted and I didn't even do anything!" Well a lot of people would say "Pah, surely he did SOMETHING!"

That's ok to believe that, but it has no place as an argument in the debate. It's just a made up pile of shit pulled out of your ass. Now if another person came in and said "I was there, I saw it, and DrFaroohk was yelling racial slurs at the people!" Now that's different because you have some other evidence to offer into the debate.

The times I tend to get upset at people not reading is when I state something factually like "I'm not cheating on my wife" and then people say "I bet you're cheating on your wife" (example obviously). And I want to reach through the computer and throttle them and say "Why take part in a debate if you're not gonna read it? This isn't the DrFaroohk FanFiction forum."

[Andara Bledin]

The last time someone accused me of not reading their comments was after other people made comments about something not in the thread, and the question I asked was treated like it said something else entirely. Twice.

*shrug*

No biggie. I know what I said and that I didn't misread anything. If someone else wants to have a conniption over imagined slights, more power to 'em.

^-.-^

[Salesmonkey]

I'm sorry, but if you want a reasoned debate with people who act like adults then I'm going to have to ask you to take this to CS.

Kidding! But I do like the CS/Fratching divide where we have a place to be rational and a place to rant. I'm not sure what to do with the things in the middle... where you have a very strong emotional attachment to a subject, and the subject is one likely to evoke strong reactions in other posters, but you want calm and rational debate? I guess you can try it here, and if it's not appropriate, well then that's why we have mods.

[Boozy]

To be clear, the difference between CS and Fratching is not "rational" vs "emotional". CS is actually better for ranting, as long as those rants don't involve hot-button issues like politics or religion.

Fratching is meant to handle those controversial subjects. Rational debate is not only possible here, it is expected. When people start to get angry and over-emotional, the mods step in.

Moderators at both CS and Fratching expect you to behave like mature adults.

[blas87]

I get what you mean Boozy. I mean no disrespect, sometimes I just find it difficult because I know something I'm going to post is something that could be taken the wrong direction and quickly at CS, but I'm not sure if I want it debated. I don't want to get points or a reputation for posting material that I just know will end up getting a thread closed