Joking around about serious rules to the rule maker

[LadyMage]

Yeah I haven't posting in a long time, sorry but been busy with things but I won't bore you with that right now, I just have a story/gripe about one of my 'friends' and how he treated a rule I made at a party about a serious situation

Well the situation started when I decided to host a party for a friend with booze, something I rarely do. The reason I don't usually have booze in my house are three reasons

1. I just don't like booze myself, so its never in the house normally
2. Many of my friends are under the drinking age (most are at or above but still...) so its just more fair not to have it
3. the big one, the laws in my area make it a little more nerve wracking to have 'wet' parties as apposed to 'dry' ones

Now the law in my area was pretty basic, as the owner of your home, which I am, you are the bartender, thus if anyone does anything stupid while drunk or someone underage drinks you pay a fine or worse if you don't report it and get them home somehow (I think losing the house was in that situation too, not sure if I am mixing it up with illegal drug us though, but that's not the issue). Because of this I find it easier just to not allow drinking in the first place normally.

Why was I doing it now, well it was for a friend's birthday (note: this is not the same friend that I am about to gripe about, the one the party was for is a sane, responsible person who agreed on the rules of the party with me)

Now on top of this, the party was on the heels of a mix up at a picnic a few months earlier where an underage sibling of one of our friends snuck a few drinks (no one gave her booze as far as I saw but she snitched a few and didn't hide it well) so our social circle was in a bit of a tizzy about the whole thing and 'wet' parties where not held for a while, mine would be the first in MONTHS. So in order to keep things cool and keep from paying a fine me and the birthday boy set up these rules

1. show id at the door or no alcohol for you, wristbands will be given to drinkers NO EXCEPTIONS (even the birthday boy got his id checked I was that serious about it)
2. Either have a designated driver or leave your keys with me
3. Homeowner and fellow hosts (had more then one person helping because of the number of people, about thirty) reserve the right to cut you off
4. If you are drunk at the end of the night you will either be called a cab or you will stay the night here

seems fair right? I informed people of these rules more then once over the course of about three weeks leading up to the party and most of my friends followed the rules gladly and without fail and where quite happy with the idea until one friend came in.

Me: Ok gotta see your id
F: I don't have it
Me: then no drink
F: aw you know I am old enough
Me: sorry but that is the rule
F: but you know me
Me: ID or no drink
F: come on
Me: *getting annoyed* sorry that is the rule
F: aww I was kidding *finally hands me his id*
Me:

Yeah real funny.... I am stressed cause I am hosting a party making sure everyone is having a good time, sorry but that wasn't funny.


When we talk about it now most people side with me on that being a dickish move on his part, it wasn't like I was singling him out or anything.

kind of long and yeah sounds petty but I kind of want to see if me being pissed was justified or if I should just take the joke as it was, a joke.

[Rageaholic]

3. the big one, the laws in my area make it a little more nerve wracking to have 'wet' parties as apposed to 'dry' ones

Because of that alone, his joke gets a "dude not funny". It's not like it was a rule you just made up for the hell of it. You were covering your ass.

Were you overreacting? Probably, but it's understandable why you'd be annoyed.

Though I think the rule suck lies within the strict laws about drinking in your area.

[Boozy]

I don't understand the ID thing. Why didn't you know how old your friends are? How big was this party? Were you and the other hosts inviting people that you didn't know?

[gremcint]

I don't know the exact age of all my friends.

[Greenday]

I don't know the exact age of all my friends.

Interesting. Do you at least know if they are old enough to drink or not?

On a side note, if I ever went to a party held by one of my friends and they seriously tried to ID me, I'd be pretty pissed at them.

[telecom_goddess]

I don't understand the ID thing. Why didn't you know how old your friends are? How big was this party? Were you and the other hosts inviting people that you didn't know?

I don't think it's the idea that they don't know their ages, but if cops were to show up they would be able to prove to THEM that they are old enough to drink with their id's present. Besides one should always have their id on them when out and about anyway.

[AdminAssistant]

I can understand your aggravation, LadyMage, but, IMO, if you don't trust your friends to behave when alcohol's around, then don't serve booze at your parties.

[Andara Bledin]

I can understand your aggravation, LadyMage, but, IMO, if you don't trust your friends to behave when alcohol's around, then don't serve booze at your parties.

Considering this was a birthday party for someone else, there's a good chance a few of the invitees weren't that well-known to the host.

Also, unless you go drinking with people regularly, it's not unheard of that you don't know everybody's ages. Plus, what about guests?

Besides, when the law says that serving alcohol at a party you hose makes you a bartender for certain legal purposes, then it's in your own best interest to act like a bartender. Does Jester laugh when people he knows pull this shit? No. He and CRML have both told tales on CS about IDing co-workers. So, why is it suddenly ok because it's someone who doesn't get any of the benefits of being a bartender, but all of the liability?

^-.-^

[Shangri-laschild]

Interesting. Do you at least know if they are old enough to drink or not?

On a side note, if I ever went to a party held by one of my friends and they seriously tried to ID me, I'd be pretty pissed at them.

Even if you had three weeks of warning that you were going to be IDed?

[LadyMage]

Interesting. Do you at least know if they are old enough to drink or not?

On a side note, if I ever went to a party held by one of my friends and they seriously tried to ID me, I'd be pretty pissed at them.

its not that I didn't know, the other host, the one the party was for agreed to this, it was more his party then mine, plus there is the law

and no I didn't yell at the jokester, I just gave him his wristband and grumbled at him, nor is it that I don't trust my friends, I was covering my ass plus there was worry a minor would sneak booze (has happened at past dry parties where minors would sneak off to a liquor store with someone of age, buy a drink and sneak it outside the party and there was nothing I could do about it as I was too busy with THIRTY other people at the time)

also there were some newer people I had just meet and didn't know their ages, granted I don't know the ages of all my friends, just the closest ones

Not to mention some of the ones that are eighteen seem to think despite the big law of 21 and over to drink, they are ok to drink (one friend likes to have one of the legal members of my crew buy him 4loco, never me though since I always say NO to a possible ILLEGAL request)

actually my friends are pretty sane drunk, if a little silly so I do trust them, but again as others had said I was covering my ass, plus around here for wet parties handing over your id is common practice

oh and if you get pissed about giving me your id at one of my parites well... sorry them's the breaks kid

[Rageaholic]

On a side note, if I ever went to a party held by one of my friends and they seriously tried to ID me, I'd be pretty pissed at them.

I agree there.

[LadyMage]

I agree there.

even if the law said they had too? honestly I think its silly to be upset over something like showing an id, even at a friends party but if that's how you feel, stick with my dry parties if you are ever in town, cause save the mild joke, my wet party was a huge success with no drama, damage, or arrests so I don't intend to change anything when it comes to those rules

[DrFaroohk]

At least in my state, stores that sell booze and cigarettes have to ID you, even if they know you. The way the law reads, if you don't card someone, even if they're actually old enough, you can still be fined.

I don't know if this also applies for private consumption of alcohol. If it doesn't, maybe it was slightly over the top to ID someone you knew was of age. On the other hand, it's your party, and it's not such a big deal to have to show one's ID. Afterall, many places it is the law that you have ID on you all the time.

The joking around doesn't seem like such a big deal to me, however the whole ID thing wouldn't be a big deal for me either. I suppose if it were something else equally important to me but trivial to someone else, I wouldn't take it kindly either.

[AdminAssistant]

My town has a similar law, mostly thanks to the local frat houses and the many cases of alcohol poisoning that come out of Rush Week every damn year. One year a freshman died, and the law was passed.

However, the host (or homeowner) of the party doesn't *have* to ID. They're just held responsible if a minor drinks and does something stupid. When I was just out of college, I let everyone drink, I just kept a tight rope on the minors so they wouldn't do anything stupid. I guess how you handle the issue is up to you. Personally, if I don't know someone well enough to know how they handle their alcohol, they don't drink in my apartment.

[LadyMage]

*sighs* I am gonna have to clarify here I guess

1. The rule of iding people was agreed upon by me and the other hosts of the party, in fact the one the party was for INSISTED ON IT

2. Keeping track of ages is a bit tricky for me for some reason, hell I forget the ages of my nieces and nephews (derpy I know) so yeah

3. The law here is more focused on minors drinking I think, meaning if I was showing to be giving booze to them, I would be in big trouble

4. I didn't kick people out of the party for not showing id, it just meant you didn't get a drink is all, we had soda and water and juice for those who choose
not to drink or couldn't

5. I warned people about this WEEKS in advance, and even ided my HUSBAND and if I was to drink I would have had someone id me, the main reason for this was because if I didn't id anyone I am sure someone would moan and complain about special treatment

6. the person that joked about it still got his wristband when he showed the id (oddly he was all for the policy, which made the fucking around about it more odd to me)

7. I did hold one wet party in a different county from where I live now where I did not ID people, and guess what a minor SNUCK BOOZE *by minor in this case I mean she was about 18 not 21* she didn't do anything stupid (honestly I want the drinking age lowered to 18 but that is a different thread) but I didn't even know about it till MUCH later and I was pissed

8, There had been bigger problems in the past with other people's parties with drinking just with the legal people so many of my friends are a bit nervous about having booze at parties, so we are strict with each other in general anyways

9. This party came at the tail end of an uproar of another minor sneaking a beer or two at a picnic where the hostess was too busy cooking to id anyone (I plan to offer iding services if she wants them this year in case this happens again) the minor from the picnic has been banned since, and this minor was 16 I think, maybe 17 or 15 but defiantly not 18, much less 21


oh and those griping about me iding people, you should see my illegal drug policy, its even stricter