Mind Games

[blas87]

I could take this thread to the hundreth page with rants about people and (lack of) phone etiquette.

Although my best guess is the person who "desperately needed" to talk to Kink probably isn't the type of person to care much if someone wants to talk to them if they are busy.

I'm not so sure if it's a mind game, but Convenience People piss me off just about more than any other people. Everything is about them and when or what or how they want it. Ever bother them when they are busy? They don't give a shit.

One of my friends has a habit habbit of making it an EMERGENCY if she wants to hang out with me, and she literally will FB message me if she thinks I'm online, then text, and then keep texting (I might be at the gym without my phone on me or sleeping), but if I even text her to ask when her baby shower is, she won't answer for like two days.

My family has an awful habbit of EVERY Sunday, since that's "Family day", they will start the texting in the morning, to make sure I'm up and know that it's Sunday, and then over the morning and afternoon, keep texting asking when I'm coming over. Even though I don't normally come over until 5 or later in the evening, I get "Everything ok?" "You coming?" messages as early as 3 pm. And if I don't answer, they make my brother join in on it.

[blas87]

Bump

The game of whining about wanting/needing/something isn't right, sometimes out right manipulating someone else into something, and then turning around after getting your way and saying "Ohhh, I never said you had to do that!" or "Ohh, don't go out of your way!", just as added passive aggressive behavior.

Someone recently cheese and whined to me that I'm "not there enough" for them. Whatever. Wah wah. But, sometimes I do things to appease people because I just want them to shut. the. hell. up. I mean, there are people I cannot avoid or avoid forever. And listening to the childish "You put everything ahead of me!" was too annoying.

So, I just changed some things around and was there for them to whine and whine away about whatever they wanted, as I was happily busy playing on the computer while they just texted their ebooks of rants away at me.

And the other day, I said something like "Not going to lie, I am really falling asleep here" when they next texted me asking what I was up to.

What did I get?

"Ohh, you don't need to force yourself to stay awake to talk to me!"

Um...remember like, a week ago, you went on a baby tirade about me putting you on the "backburner" compared to my housework and hobbies that don't involve you? And you made one really, really immature plea "I don't see WHY you can't put a little more effort into being there for me!"

[Greenday]

My mom does crap like that. Usually it has to do with holidays and gifts. "Oh, I don't want you to get me anything." Then if you don't, she gets super pissed and gives you the silent treatment.

You just can't ever win with people who have these attitudes.

[blas87]

No kidding.

Do what they want, they get mad at you for whatever reason. Don't do what they want, their grudge continues regardless.

[DrFaroohk]

My mom does crap like that. Usually it has to do with holidays and gifts. "Oh, I don't want you to get me anything." Then if you don't, she gets super pissed and gives you the silent treatment.

You just can't ever win with people who have these attitudes.

Sounds like my ex-wife. All during shopping season, "Can I have this as an early present." Well guess what, christmas day comes, and she's all decked out in her early presents, but nothing under the tree for her to open.

"YOU DIDN'T BUY ME ANY PRESENTS WAAAAAH!"

[Silverharp]

My mom does crap like that. Usually it has to do with holidays and gifts. "Oh, I don't want you to get me anything." Then if you don't, she gets super pissed and gives you the silent treatment.

You just can't ever win with people who have these attitudes.

"You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it!"

[blas87]

I LOVE you, Silverharp.

I need a few wooden crosses to give my friends and boyfriend. Sometimes, I have more than my damn fill of their whining.

[Rageaholic]

Mind if I add a few more?

1. DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverve Victim, and Offender. People who make themselves look like the victim and you like the attacker when it was really the other way around. The religious right is extremely guilty of this (They're taking away my right to discriminate wah!!!). More practical examples would be over demanding people who can never be pleased. They can complain, cry and moan about how horrible everyone is all while making everyone miserable. People are afraid to call them out on it because any percieved attack on them will be blown out of proportion. In a nutshell, it's crying to get your way.

2. Offensive "Truths". Make a statement that's offensive and hard to believe "so and so is an alchoholic". Then when people take offense, use that as comfirmation that you're right and their just denying the harsh truth. Afterall, the "truth" is always bad news that no one wants to face because reality is harsh and uncompromising.

3. "Deep down you know...". The only thing I know is that someone watches too many disney movies.

[blas87]

DARVO people make me homicidal. Thanks for the new word!

[jackfaire]

2. Offensive "Truths". Make a statement that's offensive and hard to believe "so and so is an alchoholic". Then when people take offense, use that as comfirmation that you're right and their just denying the harsh truth. Afterall, the "truth" is always bad news that no one wants to face because reality is harsh and uncompromising.

This is also tied into the "your just in denial" So if you deny they are right then they are right because your just in denial and if you "admit" they are right to shut them up, "Now we need to fix your problem"

[Rageaholic]

This is also tied into the "your just in denial" So if you deny they are right then they are right because your just in denial and if you "admit" they are right to shut them up, "Now we need to fix your problem"

Also known as the Catch 22.

The "Cop" is also another mind game I hate. I hate people treating me like a criminal who's trying to avoid getting caught. I'm already paranoid and nervous enough as it is, so I don't need a reason to be. Of course, if someone really wants to be an asshole they can act like my nervousness if me trying to hide something.

[Rageaholic]

Also, accusing you of being "too emotional" when you get angry at their baseless accusations. They get you pissed off, but they try to look like the better person when they act "logical and reasonable".

[blas87]

OMG Rage, are you reading my mind?!

This is a big one for the passive aggressive type. One way of putting the blame on others, is to start something with someone, get another person riled up (usually someone much more open and emotional than them, obviously), not necessarily loudly or crazy, but enough to get their gord.......and then THEY turn around and say, "I'm not mad." or "I never said I was pissed." or "I'm not the one upset here."

Example...you get mad once again that I wasn't psychic and didn't know something. You got mad and walked off and ignored me for hours. Then when you were finally ready to talk, sent me a text message calling me a poor listener. So I fight back saying I'm not psychic, learn to use your words. You then say there's no reason for me to start getting upset and being snarky.

[blas87]

The game where you can't seem to keep your personal problems away from everyone else.

Unfairly, you take it out on everyone around you, talking down to others, even people you are close to.

Someone asks you what's wrong or if you need help, you shrug or even glare at them. Like normal people do, they figure you need space, and leave you alone.

You then have the absolute NERVE to demand to know why I'm "ignoring" you. When I tell you that your behaviors (especially that glare when I asked you what was wrong) indicated you wanted to be alone, you throw your arms up at me and tell me "SORRY ALL I EVER DO IS BOTHER YOU!" and stomp off and slam your car door shut and speed off.