Mind Games

[Greenday]

I could eat Olive Garden every day for a month straight and always be happy. You used a bad, bad example, friend.

My family will plan a dinner, and ask where I want to go, but immediately say "NOT Olive Garden, blas!" and I guess I pout, lol.
Man, if you're paying, I'll eat ANYTHING but raw fish and undercooked meat.

A love for Olive Garden and not liking raw fish? I may be in love.

[blas87]

I hate raw and undercooked meat. And yes, Olive Garden. OMG, OG. I am going to cry when I move and OG isn't a mile away from my place

So anyway, how about those black and white people (relax, not race, I mean all or nothing people) who take everything to an extreme, usually negative.

Because of how my work schedule and a last minute doctor appt and DIRELY needing sleep after 48 hours of work, 4 straight 12 hour shifts ya know, someone is going around saying that we aren't spending Christmas together, and that I picked laundry, the doctor, and the gym over them. Even though we're spending a few hours Christmas Eve together. But that means we aren't spending Christmas together.

Does that mean I can go bring their gifts back and get my money back?

[BrenDAnn]

Ooh ooh I have one! I hate it when, if you, say, get busy, and really, honestly don't have time to talk to someone, they get all butthurt about it. It ends up as "Are you pissed at me?" "No...I'm busy/I was sleeping." "Oh..." It's as if these people WANT you to be pissed at them or something, and it annoys me to no end! They even do it if you have a short answer to a text. "You pissed?" No! I am not pissed at you! If I'm pissed at you I'll let you know. A fun twist on this is if you're quiet because you're tired or whatever, you automatically get a "What's wrong?"...Nothing. Nothing is fucking wrong. I'm tired or I don't feel like talking. Stop that shit! Gah!

[HYHYBT]

Ooh ooh I have one! I hate it when, if you, say, get busy, and really, honestly don't have time to talk to someone, they get all butthurt about it. It ends up as "Are you pissed at me?" "No...I'm busy/I was sleeping."

Something like this?

[mooncat]

Silent treatment can also be when the person you're arguing with decides they're pissed at you and just stops talking and makes a big show out of doing something else (turning on the TV, for ex.). Then they won't respond to anything you say for the next few hours and walk around with a pouty look on their face. Yeah, grow up.

I hate when somebody insists that I said something I know perfectly well that I did not say, and it wasn't even anything I WOULD say. Ex: A fellow steward at work, let's call her "A", did not get along with "B" who was our chief steward at that time. "A" told some people that I had said I "didn't feel like a steward anymore" because "B" did things differently from the last chief (who happened to be "A"). I never said that; it's not something I would have said because it was too negative against "B" (I had no problems with her methods), plus it wasn't true. I did not feel that way. I have no idea what I might have said that she misinterpreted, but I finally had to tell her to STFU and stop repeating that story. To this day, AFAIK, she still insists I said this. I think she does it to validate her own negative feelings about "B."

[blas87]

I recently heard from one of my occasional silent-treatment giver peoples that they do it because "I don't know what to say", and the ever so convenient excuse "I don't want to blow up, so I just want to think about it for a while."

That'd be fine and dandy if that person's past experience didn't prove otherwise. The part about not knowing what to say, I believe, because that person is quite sensitive, but the part about needing to think it over and now blow up is a tad off. In my experience with this person, when I've pissed them off (and I cannot recall a time it was ever a valid reason to get upset), they've just quit talking to me, and the more time they've "thought about it" and not said anything, what they were really up to was stewing and getting more and more frustrated at the situation, to the point where they'd made such an ordeal about it and it got blown so far out of proportion, that when we did talk, it was far worse than what I originally said or did that made them mad in the first place.

Funny thing about that person, also, is that one of their coworkers challenged them on it recently. It was in the midst of one of his silent tantrums, and she went up to him and said "Look, this seems to happen quite often. I just want to ask you, what can we do about this?" and he just blinked and stared at her. She then asked "What can I say or do to NOT piss you off like this?" and he turned around and ignored her some MORE.

[BrenDAnn]

Something like this?

Bahaha yes! That is hilarious, HYHYBT! Thank you!

[Greenday]

I recently heard from one of my occasional silent-treatment giver peoples that they do it because "I don't know what to say", and the ever so convenient excuse "I don't want to blow up, so I just want to think about it for a while."

If they said so from the beginning, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

[blas87]

Try to beat that through someone's thick skull.

[HYHYBT]

Dad's normally OK... but he gets all mad if he calls me and gets voicemail. He says I need to answer the phone EVERY time it rings, no matter what, and also claims that someone calling to offer me a job interview probably won't even leave a message because they don't want to hire someone who can't be bothered to answer the phone. Never mind that they'd have no idea if I was someplace phones were inappropriate, or even unsafe. Never mind if he calls when I'm in the shower or asleep. (Asleep means I have to 1) wake up enough to realize I really am hearing something; 2) that the something is my phone, which is charging in another room; 3) realize that it's not the alarm going off, but a call coming in, by which time 4) it's too late to get to it because it only rings about 20 seconds for no good reason.)

[Greenday]

Try to beat that through someone's thick skull.

I managed it one time.

It got through after we broke up.

[gremcint]

My dad gave me and my sister the silent treatment for over a year in highschool while we lived in the same house as him.

[blas87]

HYHYBT, my dad gets that way if he direly wants to speak with someone on the phone and they don't answer. But if you dare call him while he's working in his office or if he's cracking a beer and watching TV, he starts swearing and freaking out.

I hate people who play the "You're either with me or against me" bullshit. You can be friends or family and you don't always have to have the same opinions or beliefs. When someone won't stop being whiney or playing victim and I call them on it, I hate being ignored then told "You were treating me like I'm stupid!" or "You sound like you're against me!".....oooh boy, I have a different opinion than you, ooooooh no, go cry about it then.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Idiot friend to Kinkoid: I know you were home! Why didn't you answer the call?
RK: I dont' have to answer my phone in my home at anyone's say so but mine.
Idiot: What if it's important?
RK: What if what I'm doing is important?
Idiot: Okay, so what were you doing that was so important you couldn't take two minutes to answer the phone?
RK: Fucking.
Idiot: Insert incredibly awkward screeching halt to the Third Degree.
RK: So, yeah. Not sure if I remember exactly, so it was either that or I had my mouth full.
Idiot: Okay, you know what? You don't have to be like that about it.
RK: Why? You asked. You had to know what I do in my home on my own time. Now you know.
Idiot: Well, I don't need to know this.
RK: Evidently, you DO or you wouldn't be being such an asshole about it! Maybe people do things other than sit around and wait for you to call!

It was a younger guy, too. So maximum awkwardness factor. And I knew it was him, too, because the phone kept ringing and he kept calling back to the point I was tempted to stop what I was doing, go in there, and yank the thing out of the wall. And he finally left a snotty message on the machine (this was years ago at my old place, we had an answering machine). So I know exactly who was calling and when.

He wanted to talk about a fucking LARP. Which probably goes a way to explaining why it didn't occur to him that somebody might choose getting laid over answering a damn phone call.

[Dips]

Idiot: Okay, so what were you doing that was so important you couldn't take two minutes to answer the phone?
RK: Fucking.

That was awesome!

I think it's very dangerous territory when people start reading too much into how many rings it takes someone to pick up or whether they do or don't call at a certain time. It's good way to make yourself crazy and drive away a loved one.

Just let that shit go and take it easy. If there's something wrong there are much more obvious signs.

Conversely, if everything is great, something as silly as not answering the phone or missing a scheduled text shouldn't jeopardize it.