Alrighty. Unsolicited pron is getting delivered weekly to my house.
Here's an example.
What? You don't see how obscene that is? A scantily clad woman with her legs spread, holding a scrotum in each hand. Come ON. It says right there she's a body builder, and so is wearing spandex and little else while sweating.
I mean, even with MY shitty eyesight, I can see she's a natural redhead, if you know what I mean.
I mean, woah. Hot, right? I'd totally jump the fence for her. In fact, I have this orange area rug by my back door that now, thanks to this picture, I kind of feel a stirring for it. I'm just saying. This picture is a threat to the sanctity of my marriage and family.
There's probably a circular in there somewhere with shoes in it, I dunno. SHOES. I know, right? I did see a bed in there somewhere.
So this tidal wave of unsolicited filth has to stop.
Fortunately, I have USPS Form 1500 to save the day. You use that form to report companies that are sending pornographic materials to your house. It's a criminal offense for a company that has been thus reported to keep sending unsolicited shit to an address that reported them.
Oh, and it's totally up to the person submitting the form what they consider sexual.
Which rocks, because The State Newspaper is the same newspaper I successfully sued years ago for illegal telemarketing practices. Clearly, I do not subscribe to this outdated and opinionated rag nor will I ever. I do not like The State Paper, I do not like litter, I do not like trespassers, I do not like unsolicited advertising jammed down my throat, and I do not like being ignored when I make a polite request to be left alone.
So you can probably imagine how turned on I am right now.
Watch this space.
Here's an example.
What? You don't see how obscene that is? A scantily clad woman with her legs spread, holding a scrotum in each hand. Come ON. It says right there she's a body builder, and so is wearing spandex and little else while sweating.
I mean, even with MY shitty eyesight, I can see she's a natural redhead, if you know what I mean.
I mean, woah. Hot, right? I'd totally jump the fence for her. In fact, I have this orange area rug by my back door that now, thanks to this picture, I kind of feel a stirring for it. I'm just saying. This picture is a threat to the sanctity of my marriage and family.
There's probably a circular in there somewhere with shoes in it, I dunno. SHOES. I know, right? I did see a bed in there somewhere.
So this tidal wave of unsolicited filth has to stop.
Fortunately, I have USPS Form 1500 to save the day. You use that form to report companies that are sending pornographic materials to your house. It's a criminal offense for a company that has been thus reported to keep sending unsolicited shit to an address that reported them.
Oh, and it's totally up to the person submitting the form what they consider sexual.
Which rocks, because The State Newspaper is the same newspaper I successfully sued years ago for illegal telemarketing practices. Clearly, I do not subscribe to this outdated and opinionated rag nor will I ever. I do not like The State Paper, I do not like litter, I do not like trespassers, I do not like unsolicited advertising jammed down my throat, and I do not like being ignored when I make a polite request to be left alone.
So you can probably imagine how turned on I am right now.
Watch this space.
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