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  • #16
    The second thing that I feel like is a problem is how upset he gets while playing them. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I don't feel theres any reason, even for a 7 year old, to be crying because he can't beat that level on plants vs. zombies. And not just a mildly frustrated cry, I'm talkin full out bawling, eyes beat red and puffy, the whole works.
    Yeah, but... He's seven. I mean, some kids are just emotional.

    Again back to my childhood, I spent a lot of time alone, playing in the field or the woods. Even at 7, I could be outside, and that stick I found makes me a marine one second, a wizard the next, a Knight after that...and I don't see any of it from him. He needs to be in front of a screen being entertained. Should I be forcing him to go outside and play more often?
    I don't see that much of a difference, really. He's being a marine and a wizard and a knight too. He's just doing it in front of a screen, with pretty pictures. Videogames can stimulate the mind just as much as being outside and playing does. It's not 'better' to be doing it without a screen.

    However, it is different. What's key isn't the videogames, it's the variety. If it's becoming the only thing he does, to the exclusion of other things, then I'd be worried.

    On the other hand, I'd also look at the specific games he's playing. Because there can be intellectual variety and stimulation from those too. Of course, I don't know much about his situation. As a kid, while I did a lot of videogames, I think I did other things too. At the same time, my parents were also worried about me being addicted, and right now they think I'm addicted to the computer. (Which, as I've said, I'm not. It's just that most things I do are on the computer).

    The biggest sign of someone being addicted to videogames, I think, is them passing up on something else that they DO want to do (and in fact want to do more) in favor of videogames.

    However, I'm not an expert on your kid's situation. There's definitely more than I could ever tell from your posts. And honestly, there's more than you could know going on in his head too. It's hard to say what it is that is bothering him.

    One thing I would suggest is socializing. If he has friends, ask them to come over. Even if they play games together, he's interacting with them, and that is healthy.

    I don't know what to say entirely, though. 'Cause he's your kid, not mine. I can't see him, I'm no therapist, and I can only get information second-hand from you. So I'm just suggesting best I can.
    "Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
    ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest"

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    • #17
      To those who think you can just kick a kid out of the house and tell them to play, just stop. It might work on some kids, but it's not going to work on others. If my mom did that to me, I would have laughed at her or just taken a stroll far enough away that she got scared. I was extremely bright from an early age, I just wasn't creative enough to go LARPing through the woods, nor did I care about nature (I still don't) to want to spend time in it.

      I spent most of my time indoors, playing video games. Yet somehow I turned into a perfectly normal (Well, functionable would be a better word for it) adult. I still play a ton of video games, except when I'm back in the US, I go out to parties and bars, I hang out with friends, I go bowling, etc..

      It's just doesn't make sense to me to think "Make them go outside and play" is a viable option.
      Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Hyena Dandy View Post
        I don't see that much of a difference, really. He's being a marine and a wizard and a knight too. He's just doing it in front of a screen, with pretty pictures. Videogames can stimulate the mind just as much as being outside and playing does. It's not 'better' to be doing it without a screen.
        Honestly, there's a big difference. The video game doesn't require him to fill in the details himself. It hands them all to him. The brain doesn't need to think or imagine. I'll be the first to admit being a gamer child. The Nintendo came out when I was about 6, so there was no hope for me. But I also had LEGO and GI Joes and crap. Which I recall demanded just as much of my attention. Also, I hate using an Old School type argument, but seriously in the Atari and Nintendo/Sega days, your imagination was still filling in a ton of those details while playing the game. Because your "Wizard" was only 24 pixels and 4 colours. Now he's several thousand polys with a photorealistic HD texture. Your brain doesn't have to do any work anymore.

        Both my nephew and my niece went through this particular phase. They were spoiled, so they were both glued to the shiniest, loudest, most expensive piece of electronic entertainment in existence from day one. My mom corrected them by dumping my old massive LEGO collection on them. They were permitted no gaming nor computers while at my mom's place. Only an ocean of LEGO.

        I can still recall my mom recanting, in horror, about my niece asking her what she should build. My mom said "Use your imagination", and my niece asked "What's an imagination?". From that day forth they were permitted to touch nothing that ran on electricity in her house. >.>

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        • #19
          Well, GK, sadly these days, all LEGOs come in kits with specific pieces and instructions to build ONE thing.

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          • #20
            I don't really have a problem with ALL the games...but of course my games were a little more involved as well. He plays Wizard 101 and i think that's cool, but it's when he gets sucked into the flash games that I worry. Click click click click mindless stare click click click mindless stare click click click drool. No reading, no thinking, no imagining, it's just click click flashing lights mindless stare click click.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by AdminAssistant View Post
              Well, GK, sadly these days, all LEGOs come in kits with specific pieces and instructions to build ONE thing.
              Not so, thankfully.

              Sure, there's a glut of the kits, but you can still get a box of 600 assorted Lego bricks, a box of 100 pcs of windows and doors for the architecturally inclined, or a box of 106 pcs of wheels, tires, and axles for those who want to dabble in vehicles. Nothing says you have to buy the kits, though you could buy a few of the ones with the more intriguing bits in them and add them to the overall mass.

              As a kid, we had less than 100 bricks, and we played with them a lot, though I hated taking my creations apart.

              Plus, there are a mass of computer and console games that do more than just lead you along by the nose. Maybe introduce the kid to Minecraft or it's ilk and see what comes of it.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #22
                Thanks, Andara. They just didn't have those sets at the local Target when I was looking for a birthday present for my nephew.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Andara Bledin View Post
                  Not so, thankfully.

                  Sure, there's a glut of the kits, but you can still get a box of 600 assorted Lego bricks, a box of 100 pcs of windows and doors for the architecturally inclined, or a box of 106 pcs of wheels, tires, and axles for those who want to dabble in vehicles. Nothing says you have to buy the kits, though you could buy a few of the ones with the more intriguing bits in them and add them to the overall mass.
                  also, there are lego stores (usually i see them in malls; almost every mall in my area has one) at which there are bulk bins sorted by piece type and color and you can buy in bulk. i've never actually done this myself, so i'm not sure if they charge by weight or number of pieces purchased, or what, but it can be done.

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                  • #24
                    I mostly enjoyed the outdoors as a change of scenery for reading. Still do, in fact, though the laptop has mostly replaced the book. There was a great spot about halfway home from school; step maybe six feet off the bike path and be surrounded by trees and such, with a hump of dirt just the right size for sitting on. Which I started doing for a few minutes most days after school... with one problem. "A few minutes" gradually became a longer time, until one day I forgot all about going home and just kept reading and worried Mom silly. Which pretty much was the end of that.

                    I can still lose hours without realizing it... which, of course, gets inconvenient. The internet, of course, is endless; there are sites (Customers Suck! included) which I almost never visit precisely because I won't leave again. But I do know, at least, not to start on a new book unless I can pretty much read it through without having to stop for more than food, bathroom, and *maybe* sleep, the latter only if even staying up all night won't cut it. And a good video game (of the right kind) works out the same way. I was at my brother's for a couple days while he was off on his honeymoon, with specific instructions that I ought to try the new Zelda game. I didn't even turn it on, partly because I *hate* the Wii control system, but mostly because I knew it would be long enough to get hooked but not long enough to finish... and that I'd be up all day and night while I was there trying to get all of it in I could while I could because I couldn't finish it later.
                    "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by AdminAssistant View Post
                      Well, GK, sadly these days, all LEGOs come in kits with specific pieces and instructions to build ONE thing.
                      I had to really think back there for a sec and yeah, you're totally right. My LEGO sets use to come with one main set of instructions, but then a couple of secondary ideas to build other things. LEGO also use to sell instruction books in toy stores that were just big manuals of various instructions to build different cool things out of the pieces you already had. I remember owning quite a number of them that I use to buy at the mall for like $2.

                      Though I will say that LEGO use to be less.....specific? I find when I see a lot of the small to mid sized LEGO sets now, they don't have as many pieces as the pieces are typically very...specific...to the theme of the LEGO set. Or more specifically the brand name of the set ( IE Star Wars, Indiana Jones, whatever ). They're more "toy" and less "LEGO". The larger sets are still good. But the smaller ones have begun erring on the side of being an easy little toy when it comes to marketing a specific movie tie in.

                      In the 80s there weren't many "speciality" pieces so 95% of every set was made up of the same parts. They needed to be a bit more creative with said parts. There weren't any movie tie ins or anything to work with. They had to come up with their own lines and a line typically just had specifically coloured pieces or pieces with specific logo designs.

                      My personal favourites as a kid were Black Tron and the Space Police. <3

                      One of my most awesome Christmas presents as a kid was this. Oh yes. ;p

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by DrFaroohk View Post
                        He plays Wizard 101 and i think that's cool, but it's when he gets sucked into the flash games that I worry. Click click click click mindless stare click click click mindless stare click click click drool. No reading, no thinking, no imagining, it's just click click flashing lights mindless stare click click.
                        Gah, ok, big problem there. Keep him away from those. Flash games, Facebook games, any shit like that. Many of them are specifically designed to be addictive because the longer you play the more ad views and moar money it is. A child isn't mentally equipped to deal with the mechanisms being used. Hell, most adults aren't.

                        Companies like Zynga quite literally have behavioural psychologists on the payroll to help them specifically design mechanics to addict people to their games. Think about that for a minute. >.>

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Gravekeeper View Post
                          One of my most awesome Christmas presents as a kid was this. Oh yes. ;p
                          We never had that set as kids, but we had bits from that set, somehow. I have no idea where they came from, but the bits we had made for some awesome kludges with the other bits we had.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Gravekeeper View Post

                            Companies like Zynga quite literally have behavioural psychologists on the payroll to help them specifically design mechanics to addict people to their games. Think about that for a minute. >.>
                            I've suspected this about the video game industry for a long time. No proof, and no idea how it works, but its just a theory. Even games like WoW or Skyrim, I imagine that somewhere in there is a psychologist's work. Stuff like where to put the flashing lights and what color that is and what this sounds like, all tiiiiny little nudges in their direction.

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                            • #29
                              There's nothing to suspect; it's been reported multiple times that the big MMO companies (WoW most notably) and others employ psychologists to find ways to keep people playing their games and keep them coming back.

                              Games like Skyrim, not so much. They just need to get the first sale from as many people as they can; whether you keep playing or not isn't really what they care about - only that there isn't so little that they get bad reviews.

                              I actively avoid Zynga, specifically, for various reasons, not the least of which is that if you don't actually spend money or have 500 friends who all play their games, you aren't going to advance at all, and I think that's a particularly screwed up game mechanic. Admittedly, Hanging with Friends and Words with Friends are outside that mold, but the majority of their games follow that pattern.

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by DrFaroohk View Post
                                I've suspected this about the video game industry for a long time. No proof, and no idea how it works, but its just a theory. Even games like WoW or Skyrim, I imagine that somewhere in there is a psychologist's work. Stuff like where to put the flashing lights and what color that is and what this sounds like, all tiiiiny little nudges in their direction.
                                Skyrim not so much. I wouldn't worry terribly about single player games like that. Plus Skyrim is rated M anyhow. Its any game or game company that makes more revenue the more game time you commit. MMOs, Face Book games, Flash games, iPhone games that let your kids press a button to pay $2000 off your credit card to revive their fish tank. Shit like that where the only focus is lining up a series of carrots in front of you because the longer you eat them the more money they get.

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