Men and Women Can't Be Friends

[Greenday]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Start it off with that video. But to sum it up:

Men, do you REALLY just want to be friends with most of your female friends? Or would you REALLY like more but just settle?

Women, think about who your best guy friend is. Would he hook up with you given the chance?

I'll answer both questions for the majority of people: No, yes, and yes.

I admit it, most women I become friends with, I'd enjoy being more than just friends with them. There's maybe one female friend that I never had feelings for in more than a friend way. And you know what? I can't help it. It's not exactly something you can control.

[Sleepwalker]

And this precludes friendship how? You can't be friends with someone you are fucking or would like to fuck?

Creepy.

[AdminAssistant]

I think that once you're paired off, then absolutely. If you're both single...ehhh.

[Kheldarson]

Um...my best guy friend for the longest time wouldn't have gotten with me. In fact, he married someone else entirely.

My current best guy friend, well, he and I are married now. But we were just buddies until things just sorta clicked.

[Greenday]

And this precludes friendship how? You can't be friends with someone you are fucking or would like to fuck?

Creepy.

No, but then you aren't "Friends" if you are boning, are you?

[Kheldarson]

Um...Kabe's still my best friend and we're sleeping together. Married even. He's the guy that I would always choose to hang out with no matter what. Isn't that a definition of friendship?

[Andara Bledin]

I, personally, love the totally sexist assumption that all guys want to shag all the girls they know, and no girls would be the same way.

I happen to know a number of guys who are, for all intents, asexual. I also know quite a few women who, given the green light, would quite enthusiastically jump in the sack with any one of their male friends.

However, just because there exists the idea that you might like to have a more intimate relationship with someone does nothing to preclude the fact that you can be just friends (with varying degrees of intimacy based on mutual respect and open communication.

Not every man views every woman as a potential sex object and nothing more.

^-.-^

[Greenday]

Um...Kabe's still my best friend and we're sleeping together. Married even. He's the guy that I would always choose to hang out with no matter what. Isn't that a definition of friendship?

I thought that was the definition of married.

[Greenday]

I, personally, love the totally sexist assumption that all guys want to shag all the girls they know, and no girls would be the same way.

Well, I can only speak from the male perspective and for the majority of guys, it appears to be true. Maybe most women do want to bang the majority of their guy friends. If they do, this is news to me, but quite pleasant news.

I happen to know a number of guys who are, for all intents, asexual. I also know quite a few women who, given the green light, would quite enthusiastically jump in the sack with any one of their male friends.

Those guys aren't like most guys. And those women, well, society has become more accepting of people's lifestyles so they don't have to hide it anymore nor should they have to.

However, just because there exists the idea that you might like to have a more intimate relationship with someone does nothing to preclude the fact that you can be just friends (with varying degrees of intimacy based on mutual respect and open communication.

But is it a true friendship if you want to bang or date your friend all the time?

[Andara Bledin]

There is nothing that states that just because you want to be more than friends that you can't stop at being friends due to there not being mutual interest in escalation.

I suspect that the greatest impediment to the staying friends thing is the expectation that you can't just be friends.

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

Perhaps orientation makes things different, but I suspect not...

I've never had trouble being friends with either men or women. *Some* of the men, I wished there was more, but nowhere near all.... and even those times, it wasn't a reason not to be friends. Just a reason to respect a boundary.

[SongsOfDragons]

I can't imagine getting intimate with any man until or unless I am friends with them first. But that's me.

I'm part of several circles of friends, with both men and women, and there are some pairings within each group but we still pile onto the same bed/sofa to watch a movie.

[BlaqueKatt]

But is it a true friendship if you want to bang or date your friend all the time?

and does having sex make it no longer friendship?
Sex=/=relationship

I'll admit when I was single yup, had sex with my guy friends, why not? We were friends, didn't want to date, didn't want to screw up the friendship, but that is not a reason to not have sex if both parties are ok with it, and go into it knowing it is what it is and nothing more.

[jackfaire]

I have the same criteria for my friends as I have for my significant others. If I wouldn't date you I probably wouldn't be friends with you and vice versa.

For me it's not settling to just be friends with someone it just means we never clicked that way.

When I was younger I thought you had to be into everyone or there was something wrong with you seeing as everyone I knew was dating someone every week.

Now I just figure if it doesn't move beyond friendship no big deal.

[Mytical]

I am one of those 'oddball' guys. Just not really interested in sex. Maybe it is because I've been a virgin so long it's just a habit, no clue, but while I find women very attractive, sex is just not important to me.

So yes.I can be friends with a female and not want to have sex with them. ((going to have to start a thread soon about something connected to this)). A lot of our habits are reminents of the past, and should be forgotten. A female initiating should not be taboo, nor if they have a healthy libido should they be considered the slut/etc. A guy can be not wanting to hump anything with a skirt that moves. This is 2012, not 1212..time to stop having so many old preconceived notions.