Having taste = shallow.... / Hating on attractive girls....

[HEMI6point1]

Blas87's post in one of my recent threats reminded me of something. Rather than bury it, I'd rather make a new thread....

1. Having taste = shallow....

I was browsing one of those "guy advice" sites, and an article I read was discussing "the physical attraction test." Basically, if you're not attracted to someone and he/she fails the physical attraction test, don't even bother trying to force yourself to like him/her because it's doomed right from the start.

One person left a comment that I thought was interesting, but sadly true: When a man fails a woman's physical attraction test, she has taste. When a woman fails a man's physical attraction test, he's a shallow hal.

Case in point? Last week I told someone that if I had the opportunity to arrange a date with [gorgeous model from the UK] it would be totally awesome. The person who I was talking to said, "But what if she looked like Rosie O'Donnell? What then?" I told this person, "If she looked like Rosie O she wouldn't be a model, thus I would not know about her and therefore the whole thing is moot, can't talk about someone you don't know about." Person came right back with (an admittedly interesting) rebuttal: "I'll rephrase. Let's say this woman looked like Rosie O'Donnell and you saw her at a bar/club/whatever. Would you go out with her?" I said, "In all honesty more than likely not. I just don't like that body type." What was the response? "So you're admitting you'd only go out with her if she's hot. You're being a shallow hal."

So in other words, not willing to hit on anything and everything that is female = shallow.

2. Hating on attractive women....

Please see this thread for reference: Click here.

Why must this girl be labeled "slut/tramp/whore" because she's beautiful? Is there something wrong with being pretty and wanting to show off her looks?

On a message board a long time ago someone said something that I totally agreed with: "It's okay to have a dislike of a couple of attractive females, celebrity or not. But when you start hurling insults at every attractive women you see, then that's tough to explain away."

I recently got a PM on my youtube page about one of my fan montages: "I don't want to bash you publicly but it's a total insult to Steve Winwood to see his music soundtrack a whore. You should be ashamed of yourself." I wrote back, "She's a glamour model from the UK, not a whore. Unlike puritan America nudity is no big deal there and that's why UK models are more willing to pose topless. Parents in the UK don't freak out if their 14 year old son sees boob." She replied, "She is paid to get her tits out. That is a whore." I simply wrote back, "Unlike America where posing topless is considered a lurid sex act, as nudity is not a big deal in the UK topless glamour modeling is just another form of modeling there. I'm not going to debate you on this so that is my final communication with you."

I took a look at her channel and she was, shall we say... well fed. That seems to be the biggest demographic (no pun intended) that hurls insults at every pretty woman they see. Why can't they appreciate another woman's looks instead of putting them down and coming off as bitter and jealous? And because anyone thinks I'm off-base, I have seen too many do it for it to be just an isolated few. What gets me is when a MAN hurls insults at an attractive woman. I'm always tempted to say, "man card please, hand it over...."

[the_std]

I will just say that, when the great majority of a user's posts center around supermodels, specifically the models from the UK who are willing to go topless on camera, and make very little mention of attractive "real life" women, I am far less willing to consider that someone is trying to appreciate their beauty or something like that, and am far more willing to move towards a diagnosis of shallow.

[AdminAssistant]

Why must this girl be labeled "slut/tramp/whore" because she's beautiful? Is there something wrong with being pretty and wanting to show off her looks?

She's a 'but her face' case if I've ever seen one. IMO, truly beautiful people don't need to 'show off their looks' by skimping on clothing.

Hey, if half-dressed, barely legal teens do it for you, fine. But when I see a girl like that I think one of three things: "Daddy issues", "desperate for attention", or "slut." And for the record, I feel the same way about guys.

ETA: I don't think it's shallow for either gender to reject a member of either gender based on appearance. I could never date a redhead. I don't care if he's the wittiest, funniest guy in existence, with an amazing body and a 10 inch schlong.....Gingers don't do it for me. However, if you set your standards to supermodel levels, you also shouldn't complain about rejection.

[Ginger Tea]

I forgot to make a thread about this a few days ago when I saw it.
Some magazine had polled women for their fave celeb features and made a photo shop of the perfect woman.
my reaction was kill it with fire, tbh perhaps it was cos the image was such a bad shop, but if this was true perfection, give me plain and or quirky any day.

Also the hot and I know it ugly on the inside, again, if proved to be a nasty personality, regardless of how hot they look, I would not want to have anything to do with them.

I don't have an ideal woman/type per say, but I do get turned off by blonds and should a hot girl dye her hair, she's automatically disqualified, I would not alienate her or anything, just not want to sleep with her, yes it may be a deal breaker if I were in a relationship and she dyed her hair.
Regarding your Page3 post and paragraph, years ago, when I actually cared about women in magazines to atleast remember their names, there were a few I drooled over (mostly in my late teens) that one day hit the bottle (bleach not booze) and they were meh
Centerfold gynacological strength meh

That I don't mind being called shallow for, but it's a sure fire way of getting me disinterested in you physically if thats what you are trying to do short of a restraining order

I also don't find African girls all that hot, I would rarely say this as I could get accused of racism for daring to not find x hot cos she's black.
Every other nation, Asian, Indian, European etc, I find women to fancy.

Yet Niki Minaj in my chick bad with the pink hair and on screen persona, damn right she's hot, yet in her other video's shes just meh, also I find that to be her strongest song I've heard.

ETA: I don't think it's shallow for either gender to reject a member of either gender based on appearance. I could never date a redhead. I don't care if he's the wittiest, funniest guy in existence, with an amazing body and a 10 inch schlong.....Gingers don't do it for me. However, if you set your standards to supermodel levels, you also shouldn't complain about rejection.

No other posts were up when I started typing (slow typer I guess) I have no fear of rejection, infact the opposite, OMG a girl want's to date me, she must be wrong in the head.
mind you that's just cos of my personality, not my gingerness, but I would not dye my hair to disguise it when looking for lurve, been tempted to dye it for other reasons though, but never to hid my true gingerness, although my hair has darkened over the years, a snap of me in the late 90's has mine quite orange, now its almost brown

[Andara Bledin]

Basically, if you're not attracted to someone and he/she fails the physical attraction test, don't even bother trying to force yourself to like him/her because it's doomed right from the start.

This is actually wrong.

I've known a number of people of various attractiveness levels and if someone is hot but a complete ass, that's far more of a turn-off than if someone has a stellar personality but a crappy body type.

I understand that there are some things that are actual turn-offs (as opposed to just not being turn-ons) that will be automatic non-starters, but in the vast majority of examples usually given, that's not really the case.

Please see this thread for reference: Click here.

In her case, it's as much the poses as the outfits (or lack thereof). One of the other photos from the shoot is her in a tulle skirt and a halter top, lying on her stomach on the grass at a park, her bare feet kicked up behind her. It's a really cute shot and doesn't give off any of that "tramp" vibe that the other two do, despite not being any more clothing than the first one.

^-.-^

[HEMI6point1]

I will just say that, when the great majority of a user's posts center around supermodels, specifically the models from the UK who are willing to go topless on camera, and make very little mention of attractive "real life" women, I am far less willing to consider that someone is trying to appreciate their beauty or something like that, and am far more willing to move towards a diagnosis of shallow.

Last I heard, models from the UK are real-life women too. What, are they robots or something?

And FYI, I have seen plenty of gorgeous women down here in South Florida. That's one of the perks of living down here.

Oh and just so everyone knows, I like UK models a lot better than US models because, well, most UK glamour models look like they actually EAT SOMETHING!
Of course, some might call me "unamerican" for that LOL....

[HEMI6point1]

I've known a number of people of various attractiveness levels and if someone is hot but a complete ass, that's far more of a turn-off than if someone has a stellar personality but a crappy body type.

I understand that there are some things that are actual turn-offs (as opposed to just not being turn-ons) that will be automatic non-starters, but in the vast majority of examples usually given, that's not really the case.

^-.-^

I'd have to actually agree with this, if there was a plain jane that was smart and shared many of my interests Vs a babe that scoffed at many things I liked and was an ass, I'd rather take the plain jane....

[Andara Bledin]

Last I heard, models from the UK are real-life women too. What, are they robots or something?

In a lot of still picture ads, the way the images come out bear very little resemblance to the reality of the women who posed for them.

Some makeup/moisturizer/soap company put out a fascinating ad with video of a woman going from "normal pretty model" to being turned into "hot imaginary ad woman." It started with some heavy Hollywood makeup artistry, then once the picture was taken, it went into Photoshoppery, with the woman's head being repositioned and the lines of her face being altered to appeal to whatever society was touting as "hot" at the time.

^-.-^

[the_std]

Last I heard, models from the UK are real-life women too. What, are they robots or something?

There is a reason that I put the phrase 'real life' in quotation marks. Models are not a representative sample of the populace and, while I'm sure a lot of men out there would take the opportunity to at least try their hand with a model if the opportunity came around, I'm just saying that as a focus for conversation or expectations, it is highly unrealistic.

And FYI, I have seen plenty of gorgeous women down here in South Florida. That's one of the perks of living down here.

I don't doubt that you do, but it's not something you bring up here often at all, and that's what I was referring to.

Oh and just so everyone knows, I like UK models a lot better than US models because, well, most UK glamour models look like they actually EAT SOMETHING!
Of course, some might call me "unamerican" for that LOL....

Personally, I don't give a rat's ass if the models you talk about are from the UK, from the States, hell, they could be from Antarctica for all I care. I only brought it into the conversation because you bring it up here so often.

What I was trying to say in my initial post is that your friend may be on to something. Going solely by what you post on this website, 14 out of the 32 topics you've created had to do with models or women of some celebrity, with the majority of those being about you supposedly chewed out for your preferences. That is 43% of what you've chosen to start a conversation about on this website. Someone who talks to you in real life has access to a far broader representative sample of your every day conversation, and if the percentages from this website are at all accurate to the way you talk in real life, that is a lot of conversation about the topic of unrealistically attractive women.

Therefore, all of that put together would make me think of you as being more shallow than the average person that I have contact with, certainly from this website, and largely from my day-to-day experiences.

[HYHYBT]

"She is paid to get her tits out. That is a whore."

No, that's a stripper. A whore gets paid to *have sex.*

As for the looks test... the problem is in trying to *force* yourself into liking anyone. That person who isn't so great to look at on first glance might grow on you once you've gotten to know each other better, but then again maybe not. And the hottie might be the best person ever inside as well as out... but I wouldn't bet on it, simply because what it takes to look like that both is more likely of certain unpleasant (to me, at least) personality traits, which are then reinforced by being favored for your hotness.

[linguist]

That person who isn't so great to look at on first glance might grow on you once you've gotten to know each other better, but then again maybe not.

this. when i first met my wife, i had no physical attraction to her (and wow, seeing that typed out makes it look way worse than i mean it ). she just wasn't my usual type. but then as we became friends, the more i got to know her and the more time we spent together, the more attractive she became to me. now, 10 years later, i think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, and she becomes more beautiful to me every day.

[HEMI6point1]

What I was trying to say in my initial post is that your friend may be on to something. Going solely by what you post on this website, 14 out of the 32 topics you've created had to do with models or women of some celebrity, with the majority of those being about you supposedly chewed out for your preferences.

A long time ago, a co-worker turned my "car analogies" around on ME. This is what he said:

"Dude, I know you like cars so I'll make a car analogy on your situation with women. You're in the market for a car. You're lusting after a Challenger. But you know that unless you win the lottery you'll never be able to afford one. The car you can afford is a Chevy Aveo. But you object to driving around in 'a stupid clown car' like an Aveo. So rather than biting the bullet so to speak and buying the car you can actually afford, you would rather do without and take the bus every day while continuing to lust after the Challenger!"

Don't worry though, someday I'll get my Challenger....

[Mytical]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I look at some of the women proclaimed to be the most beautiful in the world by magazines..and say "Meh." I look around the streets, in the classes I take, the photos shared by some of the members of CS.com..and I see absolutely gorgeous women. What I do not understand is when one of them states that they are not beautiful.

Do I think somebody like Mila Jovovich, or Amy Lee (singer of Evanescence), is beautiful? Yes. I also realize that they have professional make up artists, hair dressers, wardrobe people, and such that spend HOURS to take an already attractive person and make them even more so. Yet, to me .. not so much. Don't know why but the less makeup and such a woman wears..the more attractive they are to me.

I don't think anybody dismissing somebody they are not attracted to is shallow, male or female, but I do think people have been programmed to think only certain types can be attractive. I mean look at any movie that is about some girl being transformed from 'geek' to 'beauty'. They have to lose the glasses, etc to be 'accepted'. To me they were more beautiful before then after.

To those of you who can not see your own inner beauty, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes for just one day. Just because some magazine or some jerk you passed by doesn't think you are beautiful, doesn't mean you are not beautiful.

Yes I am rambling again, sorry bad habit..back on topic. I think the op is right. There are double standards for men and women. I think a lot of it is attitude however. Lets take a woman who turns down a guy. Not always do we consider it that she has taste, sometimes people think of her as the 'b' word..depending on how it is handled. Not always is the guy considered a shallow hal because he turns down a woman, in fact sometimes they are considered 'a nice guy'. Yeah, society is easier on women who turn down guys..and sometimes the guy is thought of as 'creepy' for even trying, but that is life. *shrug*

[AdminAssistant]

but I do think people have been programmed to think only certain types can be attractive. I mean look at any movie that is about some girl being transformed from 'geek' to 'beauty'. They have to lose the glasses, etc to be 'accepted'. To me they were more beautiful before then after.

See, I'm starting to see the opposite. Take Felicia Day for example. As your basic, run-of-the-mill character actress...she's the funny sister at the wedding. Nothing special or particularly attractive. Slap glasses on her and stick her in front of a computer playing WoW...and holy hell, she's the hottest thing going, because they've changed the target market. Same with Zooey Deschanel, who I actually like. But she's trying so hard to be 'geeky' and twee...it's painful. But, she's made herself appealing to a different target market. Joseph Gordon Levitt's done the same thing. Compared to all the other leading men out there, he is not spectacularly good looking. Add glasses and a sweater vests, and you can't keep the geeky girls off him.

It's a brilliant strategy, actually.

ETA: And before any of you guys hit me, yes, I realize that Ms. Day is an actual gamer. But I fervently believe that she has milked that for success because, frankly, she isn't good looking or talented enough to make it otherwise.

[Sleepwalker]

Different strokes for different folks. I DO hate it when large boobs or skinny women are hated on by being called 'not real'. Someone who is only attracted to images of women they see online or on tv has some unfortunate issues, but that does not make women who resemble those images unreal.