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My Mom and my "Third" Mother

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  • My Mom and my "Third" Mother

    I love them all dearly. But my mom can be such a *ryhmes with punt* sometimes. A little background:

    I have my mom who never married my dad. My dad married my step mom. She is a Saint dealing with my dad (a whole new thread in itself, actually put on CS for advice). And there is my ex's/roomie's parents. They are like a family to me, especially in what I been through with my dad. My mom does not like my ex and acts all chldish over some stupid reason I forget now. And poor 3M. She is a very open minded person. /BG

    So, after my ex and I broke up, 3M put me as her "Daughter" on Facebook. My mom flipped out, asking me to change it to MIL or SM. I never did, cause there is no reason in my mind to do it. I shoulda asked her if I put my SM as Mom on there if she would tell me the same thing. She likes SM, just not my dad. There really is no reason to say that to me. Its just Facebook for crying out loud. Not like I'm gonna somehow change the names on my Birth Certificate. 3M, like my SM, has treated me like a daughter, along with 2D (second dad, mom never married or had a long term relationship). Why make me feel horrible?

  • #2
    I've often thought Facebook was and is one of the worst things that ever happened to the internet. It seems like there is so much drama over just plain stupid thing. It enables gossip to travel even further and faster. Locally a man and a friend murdered a young couple because the couple un-friended the man's 38yo daughter. They shot them both and left the baby (alive) in the mother's arms. The baby's grandfather came home several hours later to find this mess and the baby. It wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if facebook, twitter and similar stuff was shutdown.
    Cry Havoc and let slip the marsupials of war!!!

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    • #3
      Is that because of Facebook or because the guy's a lunatic?

      For me, FB is just a place to chill and have fun. I goof off there. Drama these days? No thanks.

      Rapscallion
      Proud to be a W.A.N.K.E.R. - Womanless And No Kids - Exciting Rubbing!
      Reclaiming words is fun!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Tanasi View Post
        It wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if facebook, twitter and similar stuff was shutdown.
        The people whose lives have been saved might have a bit of a quibble, however. >_>

        The drama is caused by the same thing the drama is always caused by; people who want to cause drama. People who do insane things wouldn't have not done insane things, they'd have just found a different trigger.

        ^-.-^
        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Andara Bledin View Post
          People who do insane things wouldn't have not done insane things, they'd have just found a different trigger.
          Or a different "stage" to be seen from.

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          • #6
            I delete drama on my FB page. Luckily my mom messaged me. But still. My mom and my ex are both drama queens and start drama just so they can feel powerful. I hate it. I just want to live my life, not start drama (always finds me). I'm already stressed and depressed as is. One more trigger and I think I'm gonna blow up.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Tanasi View Post
              It wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if facebook, twitter and similar stuff was shutdown.
              When you are on the other side of the world, it's practically the only way to do it. When I was in Afghanistan, I could only use the phones so much. Personal cell phone calls were really expensive. Mail is super freaking slow. It works better than any other means of communication.
              Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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              • #8
                Why has email fallen out of favor to more public systems like Facebook even for what are essentially meant to be private communications between two or a handful of people?
                "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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                • #9
                  I use e-mail mostly for business and school stuff. I don't want my e-mail clogged up with baby pictures or updates, but I don't mind it on FB. Besides, then I can keep in touch with a lot of friends (old and new), and keep in touch with colleagues I meet at conferences and stuff. Fiance got his current job by asking if anyone knew a place hiring on FB.

                  So, it's useful. Yes, there is drama, but you can also unfriend or block people.

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                  • #10
                    Your mom is making a mountain out of a molehill. It's Facebook, not Birth Certificate Book, FFS!
                    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people...

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rapscallion View Post
                      Is that because of Facebook or because the guy's a lunatic?

                      For me, FB is just a place to chill and have fun. I goof off there. Drama these days? No thanks.

                      Rapscallion
                      The guy did the crime because his daughter lost it and he then lost it because how dare they unfriend his 38yo daughter was was harassing the couple. There's a whole lot of crazy to go around in this case. But I agree about the drama, with 5 kids of my own I don't invite it into my life and I try to avoid all I can. 3 are grown and gone and another is just about there leaving the youngest, unfortunately she's the biggest drama queen of them all.

                      Originally posted by Andara Bledin View Post
                      The people whose lives have been saved might have a bit of a quibble, however. >_>

                      The drama is caused by the same thing the drama is always caused by; people who want to cause drama. People who do insane things wouldn't have not done insane things, they'd have just found a different trigger.

                      ^-.-^
                      There are exceptions when FB and such has helped, it seems that those exceptions are exceedingly rare.

                      Originally posted by Greenday View Post
                      When you are on the other side of the world, it's practically the only way to do it. When I was in Afghanistan, I could only use the phones so much. Personal cell phone calls were really expensive. Mail is super freaking slow. It works better than any other means of communication.
                      I know well what it's like to be on the other side of the world. In 71/72 I was in Viet Nam and all we had was really slow snail mail. Luckly for us in the field it was free. I've also spent time in Panama, Haiti, Croatia, and Kuwait/SA/Iraq. Even with the most recent all we had was US mail. My oldest daughter did a year in Afghanistan between her, her mother, my Mom ,MIL and her fiance they kept that girl in sat-phone minutes. She also had nearly daily email. It seemed to me that coms are working well in her case.


                      Not necessarily you but I think today's hunger for up to the second information is driving some crazy. I happly do without the FB and other such stuff and I've never found the need to be that in touch. But to each their own.
                      Cry Havoc and let slip the marsupials of war!!!

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                      • #12
                        I love all three of them. As I said, 3M is such an easygoing person. I love calling her my mom. Even when meeting strangers she goes "This is my daughter, Bex" people who know her history knows she only has daughter M, son in law RH and daughter RJ and a grandson J.

                        ALso, as I said, my mom loves being a drama queen. She just doesn't admit it.

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