Open minded or just weak minded?

[Amanita]

Sometimes I wonder this about myself. Am I open minded, or just weak?

First thing- There have been several occasions where I've been reading a discussion online, where a string of people all felt a certain way, and I've agreed. But then somebody has offered a dissenting opinion, and I've thought "You know, this person has a good point!"

-Case in point:
On one message board, we were discussing that incident where a reporter threw a shoe at President G.W. Bush, shortly after it happened. People were laughing over it, and I was agreeing with them, laughing at the jokes. But then, another poster came in, saying that while he wasn't a fan of Bush, he didn't approve of the incident. "What ever happened to showing respect for the office of President? Even if you don't like the person holding it, the office deserves respect."
I found myself thinking "This person actually makes a good point, when you think about it like that!"

Second thing- I came across a blog page depicting a pair of 9/11 plushies that somebody had made, depicting cartoon towers with planes in their sides. At first, I thought it was totally crass, but as I read the comments, I changed my mind. There were lots of posts about the use of black humor as a coping mechanism, about how the plushes reminded some viewers of children's artwork depicting 9/11, and the thoughts and comments of the artist herself, where she stated that she was inspired by her husband's artwork, which was done in childlike fashion. She also stated that she refused to sell those plushies, or make copies to sell, and I respected that.
So I started off offended, but changed my mind after reading some thoughtful commentary offered.

Third thing- When somebody presents an idea, I try to judge the idea on its own merits, no matter what I think of the person who offered it. I know how much it sucks to have idea after idea shot down, because somebody has a problem with me, and stonewalls my ideas just to screw with me.
Case in point- here in the local Pagan and convention community, there's another lady known for costuming, who doesn't like me. I think she's been holding a grudge ever since I commented on the costume contest held at an event she helped organize- it turned into something resembling a wet t-shirt contest. As polite as I tried to be when offering feedback, I guess any criticism was tantamount to calling her baby ugly.
Anyhow, on a local con's facebook page, she made a suggestion for a non-competitive costume fashion show, in addition to the contest, good for those who want to show off their costume, but don't care about prizes. I liked the idea- while I like to compete, I know others don't care so much about winning, they just want to have fun. So regardless of my feelings for the lady who presented it, I backed the idea, saying that I liked it, and even if it wasn't feasible to have a whole seperate event, perhaps a non-competitive "show" category could be added to the existing contest.

So what does it sound like? An open mind, or just somebody who waffles?

[HYHYBT]

Well, what do you call someone who latches onto the first thing they're told or the first thought they have on a subject and won't let go of it no matter what?

[Amanita]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I remember ranting here about all those fights I got in over on a cosplay board, in regards to my skyscraper cosplays. A few folks got 9/11 into their heads and wouldn't let it drop, no matter how many times I told them my skit ideas had nothing to do with 9/11 and were not even going to mention it. Even after I came up with an entirely different idea, which was even less likely to be confused with that, some of the posters would NOT stop rabbitting on about it. They wouldn't listen to updates on the original skit idea. They wouldn't listen to the part where I came up with an entirely different skit idea that was more comedy than drama. And they wouldn't listen when I said that no skit was going to happen, as my performance partner's schedule had changed, meaning he wouldn't be available during the con. Why read updates, or evaluate a revised idea, when self righteous flaming is more fun?

I guess sometimes I wonder if I sway a little TOO easily sometimes.

[siead_lietrathua]

it looks like what you are doing is absorbing new data and re-evaluating your opinions, not wifflewaffling. i dont think it's a bad thing.
and on the third one, i commend you for not letting personal feelings get in the way of your decisions. more people should do that

[Duelist925]

I'd say open minded. Your not wiffle waffling, as you put it--as siead said, you're taking in new data, and reevaluating your decision.

[Andara Bledin]

A lot of people call any changing of a decision to be "waffling" because a lot of people are incapable of doing so themselves.

Something to remember:

Most people will make a decision based on the first information they receive and then will hang on to that decision for dear life regardless of any new information, even if that new information says that the first information was a bald-faced lie.

And the longer somebody holds a position, the less likely they will be to change it, no matter how false it is proven to be. Religion, politics, and gambling all exploit this, which is why so many people don't seem to make any sense regarding those issues.

^-.-^

[anakhouri]

I would say you are willing to listen to different sides of an argument and reconstruct your opinions based on what you hear from different people. This is open-mindedness, not weak-mindedness.

Weak-minded people change their minds to fit whatever situation they are in. For instance:

Person1: "I like Coke."

Person2: "Pepsi is better because blah blah blah."

Person1: "Yes, you're right, I like Pepsi better than Coke too."

Person3: "But Fanta is better than either one because blah blah blah."

Person1: "You're right, I like Fanta best too!"

I tend to jump to opinions based on what I first hear, but I have trained myself to go deeper and listen to more sides of the story, then alter my opinion based on what I hear and believe to be true or right.

[HYHYBT]

Of course, a very slight modification to that drink example makes a big difference. For example:

"My favorite soda is Coke."

"This may sound strange, but I like Vernor's better than anything."

"OH! I'd forgotten all about Vernor's; the stores here don't carry it. That stuff's great!"

[BlaqueKatt]

A lot of people call any changing of a decision to be "waffling" because a lot of people are incapable of doing so themselves.

I hate this attitude, I see it directed at politicians A LOT, and it sickens me.
If new information comes to you, it should be considered and not just dismissed because it goes against preconceived notions.

Like Obama's change of heart on same-gender marriage, or Rommney's stance on abortion(he is pro-choice because his cousin would've died without one), they got new information and rather than remain bullheaded they took the new information, evaluated it, and changed their mind.

Waffling is going back and forth and being totally unable to commit to a decision.

[Mytical]

Well sometimes being open minded also means not really choosing a side also. For instance religion. I respect most religions, but find that in some cases the people in them have some very..crazy ideas. I've always said..the minute a religion can explain to me why their religion is better then anybody else's I would seriously consider joining it. Only I have 'rules' about it. No "Cause this book/person/authority figure/etc said so." and no "Cause you will go to bad place if not." I mean a logical reason said religion is valid, and the others are not. Anyhow I digress.

If you are just doing what people tell you to, and expect you too..regardless if it makes sense or if it is contrary to the last thing you did/believed or not..that is weak willed. If you are swayed by an argument, new evidence, or such..that is having an open mind..at least imo.

[PepperElf]

this kinda makes me think of one of my friends. a friend i don't speak to very often that is.


according to her i let others decide my personality.

Her "proof" of this was all the new hobbies I tried, inspired by other people. As far as she cared, it wasn't that I was trying new things, it was because I had no thoughts except what others were interested in.

The biggest issue was my New Hobby*. That right there was "proof". According to her I was never interested in New Hobby until I started dating my BF and ... the fact that I'd been thinking about starting it before I met him didn't matter.


This is indeed a pet peeve of mine. Be it political views, hobbies, or whatever other discussions one may have... it irritates the fuck out of me when someone declares "you are weak-minded " (or have no personality)... all because you listened to another view point and tried to understand it, or you tried something new.



* New Hobby need not be named as to not derail this from the main topic.

[TheHuckster]

Here's the thing: Almost every hotly debated issue has good and bad points on either side. That's exactly why they are hotly debated. The difference is some people hold the good points on one side to higher value than the good points on the other side.

Considering all points on either side is one of the most important things to do when you form any opinion, especially of the most important issues. And often times finding that middle ground or finding an opinion that everyone can agree on is next to impossible simply because the sides of the issue are so contradictory of eachother.

There's certainly nothing wrong with looking at any issue with perspective, and sometimes the points from both sides are so "good" that you can't make a firm decision on what's the "right side."

Also, whenever I look at an issue, I try to gauge just how big of an issue it really is. Are the people arguing over it really making a mountain out of an ant hill, going back and forth over what should be something trivial? Dwelling over something that, overall, is silly only boils my blood for a stupid reason, and if I realize that, I calm down and move on.

[Amanita]

Wow, that friend of yours sounds like a real piece of work. That attitude would drive me absolutely crazy. So I'm honestly not allowed to try a friend's hobby or activity that sounds cool, or to change my opinion on something based on new info? I must be completely inflexible, then?

To hell with that!