Berserk Buttons

[telecom_goddess]

Why are some people so damn anxious for other people to have kids? Isn't the world population big enough? I applaud anyone who chooses not to have kids at least you're easing the strain a bit.

I have to admit I added to the population some but again if someone chooses not too good for them!

[Rageaholic]

^Yeah, that "real world" crap.

Yeah, I've been sick of that "real world" crap for a while. Especially when the person spewing it comes across as so smug. I remember an article that made me go berserk because the guys advice to kids was basically "life is hard man up". Not a very appealing article, but he was probably one of those assholes who thinks he doesn't have to appeal to anyone. It just is. Another one of my rage buttons.

Being patronized to go to school (on whose dime here? HELLO!), get a "real" job, and get out of my parents' house and quit being a loser....

Fortunately, I haven't gotten that, but I know the attitude all too well. (The overachiever straight A kids who have to be better than everyone else). They treat everyone else their age like their children.

Why are some people so damn anxious for other people to have kids? Isn't the world population big enough? I applaud anyone who chooses not to have kids at least you're easing the strain a bit.

I have to admit I added to the population some but again if someone chooses not too good for them!

Exactly!! The population problem is scary enough. I can totally understand why people would be afraid to have kids. But of course, conservative busy bodies cannot just live and let live. They insist on people continuing to live the traditional life even though it's not practicial anymore. They guilt their children into having kids because "I want grandchildren!!".

That brings up two more berserk buttons.

-Traditionalists who think everyone should live by their outdated values.

-People who try to control others with guilt trips.

[Amanita]

I'll add one- judgmental people who write things off, without even trying to understand them.
Also, those who dismiss and judge anyone who dresses in subculture clothing- We got into this on another forum I'm on, and it got real ugly. Some people were pretty much dissing anyone who dresses in Vintage clothing, saying it was pretentious, "trying too hard", and costumey. By extension, a lot of other subculture garb got thrown in as well- punk, goth, you name it. Dressing in full subculture garb was likened pretty much to running around wearing fairy wings and cat ears all the time.

And don't get me started on what some people said- "Oh, whenever I see people dressed in whatever, I think they're crazy/pretentious/whatever". At least one individual got quite bent out of shape over those posters getting called out for that, suggesting that because it was their "thought", they should not be criticized, or in any way compared to people who say rude things to others. Well, got news for ya, hon! The moment it leaves your little head and comes out your mouth, or gets posted on a public forum, it's not just your "private thought" anymore. It's now a matter of public record, and therefore is subject to criticism.

[TheHuckster]

At least one individual got quite bent out of shape over those posters getting called out for that, suggesting that because it was their "thought", they should not be criticized, or in any way compared to people who say rude things to others. Well, got news for ya, hon! The moment it leaves your little head and comes out your mouth, or gets posted on a public forum, it's not just your "private thought" anymore. It's now a matter of public record, and therefore is subject to criticism.

That touches on another major trigger for me: People who post something controversial or even flat out wrong and when someone else rebukes that point with a counterpoint they're met with this hypocritical, "Well, I'm entitled to my opinion and you're infringing on my rights" response. As if having a right to an opinion prevents others from countering it with their differing opinion.

[Amanita]

I forgot another accusation that was levelled at anyone who wears unusual clothing- that they're only doing for attention, or engaging in attention seeking behavior, which is bad, mmkay?

Really? It couldn't possibly be that the person wearing an entire vintage outfit or goth clothing, or whatever subculture's dress is doing it because they personally like the clothes. Or that they feel those clothes suit their personality, or express something personal and heartfelt about themselves. Nooo. It's all just a cheap cry for attention "Lookit me I'm an attention whore!"

I guess my other rage button on this subject is the mentality that anyone who looks different from the "norm" has no right to complain or be upset if somebody else treats them badly over it- saying hateful or ignorant things, unwanted touching, unprofessional behavior, and so on. "You dress that way for attention, don't complain when you get it!" or "Maybe if you dressed normal, this wouldn't happen!"

[Rageaholic]

And don't get me started on what some people said- "Oh, whenever I see people dressed in whatever, I think they're crazy/pretentious/whatever". At least one individual got quite bent out of shape over those posters getting called out for that, suggesting that because it was their "thought", they should not be criticized, or in any way compared to people who say rude things to others. Well, got news for ya, hon! The moment it leaves your little head and comes out your mouth, or gets posted on a public forum, it's not just your "private thought" anymore. It's now a matter of public record, and therefore is subject to criticism.

That sounds like a troll tactic to me. Say offensive things, get called out, and then complain about people taking it the wrong way. It's very frusturating to debate people like that because they'll always argue that they didn't mean it that way even though they their words didn't leave much room for misinterpratation.

Come to think of it, that brings up another button, DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). It's where the person who is the aggressor makes it appear as if their victim is the aggressor. Example, a control freak acting like the people who actually stick up to them are being difficult. I especially hate when they cry and pout for sympathy just because they don't get their way once. I'm at the point now where I'd just mock their crocodile tears and tell them to get the fuck over it. Yeah it's mean and would make me look like the bad guy, but it would feel damn good.

So called "martyrs" are another one. Suffering is not a contest. Just because you're unhappy or unappreciated doesn't mean everyone else should be.

Lastly, mind games. Particularly people trying to tell me what I think or jump to insane conclusions about my intentions. I know some people who can make the most ridiculous assumptions and then treat anyone who counters them (no matter how logical) as denying some harsh truth that no one wants to face. As someone who already struggles with irrational thinking and anxiety, I. FUCKING. HATE. THAT.

[Rageaholic]

And another thing: User unfriendly technology.

Technology should be simple and easy to understand. But some devolopers are intent on making it so that simple functions require complex button combos. Like this camera I got a while back. You think you could just click the button to take a picture, but instead you have a whole menu of options you have to work around. ALL I WANTED WAS TO TAKE A PICTURE!!!

And don't get me started on computer programs.

[HYHYBT]

Why I hate LG phones. Trying to get photos out of Mom's was an awful experience; I likened it to making a sandwich from a refrigerator where everything is in its own compartment within a compartment within a compartment, you can only get one item (a single slice of ham, for instance) out at a time, and every time you do the whole thing slams shut and you have to start over again. If you also had to go back a second time for each item to delete it individually from the fridge after you'd used it.

[Eisa]

Hmm. Most of mine have already been touched on.

Being told that my mental and physical disabilities/health problems are "just an excuse." Fuck. Off. No, it is not just an excuse that I am literally so terrified of phone calls I cannot even call to order a pizza. Or how my depression and anxiety have combined to make it so I cannot even check my voicemail and haven't for the past three weeks. It is not an excuse that I literally cannot stand for more than about 15 minutes without needing a break. Are you in my body? No? Then fuck off.

And on a similar note, being told that I'm faking/exaggerating/making up/"that can't possibly be real!" any of my physical or mental health conditions. If you honestly think I'm a liar, then why are we friends or acquaintances?

I hate when people think I'm lying about anything, really. Or when people lie to me. Or break my trust...because it takes a lot to get it back. It takes a lot to get it in the first place, really.

I hate people who are anonymous hatred-spewing douchebags. I wonder how many people would actually tell someone else to their face that they should kill themselves. I bet not many.

[LadyBarbossa]

Exactly!! The population problem is scary enough. I can totally understand why people would be afraid to have kids. But of course, conservative busy bodies cannot just live and let live. They insist on people continuing to live the traditional life even though it's not practicial anymore. They guilt their children into having kids because "I want grandchildren!!".

That brings up two more berserk buttons.

-Traditionalists who think everyone should live by their outdated values.

-People who try to control others with guilt trips.

My Dad even goes so far as to say that there's no point in me actively dating or searching for a life partner if I don't plan on having kids. That's really hurtful. Every time I think my Mom has finally resigned to my CF status, she'll pop out and bingo me again. I think most recently it was when we were watching House and Taub admitted that he found his kids "So . . . boring!" and I laughed. I also laugh when House makes "Babies are idiots", etc type comments. And she goes -

"You say that now, but you'll feel differently when it's your own."

"Oh really? You mean like the nutjobs who put their kids in cars and let it roll into a lake or ocean? Who's to say I won't end up like THAT, because it obviously wasn't 'different because it was her own'."

"But those women never showed signs of not liking their kids, they always seemed happy and to like being mothers."

Exactly. Because no one will admit they hate their children and made a mistake. So it's better to be honest about how you feel before you have them and not have them at all. I will NEVER change my mind!

But I think this is all probably better suited for another thread

[protege]

Let's see now...

Stupid people and the people that enable them. Yep, I fucking hate them. These people, are *exactly* why certain warning labels are on various products. Plus, nobody has the balls to say "look you fucking moron..." If someone does, they get to hear how they're being "rude" because the idiot "doesn't know any better." For example, locally, some loser stole a vehicle in which the owner had left the keys. Kid took off, led cops on a high-speed chase, which landed the kid in the hospital...and an innocent motorist with a destroyed car and back injuries. When confronted, the kid's mom...blamed the *victim* for leaving the keys in it. Seriously? Leaving the keys in the car wasn't a good idea...but who the fuck told the kid it was OK to steal a car?

People who attempt to give me shit about my 'spare tire.' Specifically, my brother. Yep, *that* brother. Bring up my 'roundness,' and I'll go for your throat. That is, I'll bring up every failure and character flaw that *you* have. Still want to 'dis' me? Bring it on, bitch

Tandem to that, people who constantly whine about how much their life "sucks," yet ignore advice or help on improving things. I can understand hardship--you lose your spouse, your health declines, etc. This is *not* about those people. What I mean, is people who constantly whine about things and refuse to do anything to improve their situation. There are various programs or services they could use. However, they (and I apologize for being crude) seem to get off on the attention. To them, I say "shut the fuck up and grow a set."

That's it for now

[blas87]

I said I'd add it:

It's all about the silent treatment, really, but I cannot stand when a person bottles up feelings, refuses to speak to you, and finally just freaks the fuck out on you for what you "did" to them. It's an absolute mess of unnecessary drama. I dealt with it for several months out of my last relationship, I've watched a close friend recently nearly fall apart over a 15 year friendship that came to a standstill with being given the silent treatment...............such immature, childish bullshit.

[HYHYBT]

Tandem to that, people who constantly whine about how much their life "sucks," yet ignore advice or help on improving things.

How about people who only offer worthless advice (things you've already tried, or that don't apply in your situation, etc) and then say since you won't take it you have no business complaining about your life?

[Rageaholic]

And on a similar note, being told that I'm faking/exaggerating/making up/"that can't possibly be real!" any of my physical or mental health conditions. If you honestly think I'm a liar, then why are we friends or acquaintances?

Oh don't get me started on that. I hate when people say "do you think it's possible you're exaggerating?". It's infuriating because people who have those problems already struggle with self doubt and are prone to self blame. When someone says something that either dismisses their problems or worse, tries to blame it on them, it's not only condescending, but it's actually reinforces the self doubt. Same thing with criticizing the victim. Especially when it's done under the guise of trying to "help" the person. Then when you call them out on their douchiness, they act all offended.

[Rageaholic]

On the topic of insensitive douchebags, people who are ignorant about mental issues and deny that they have any problems at all. Do. Not. Get. Me. Started.