That Fine Line Between Chivalry and Disrespect

[SkullKing]

That's essentially my point.

If you treat people nice because they're people, that's great. Keep it up. We should all be trying to do just that.

However, if you treat people differently based purely on their sex, then you are, by the most basic definition, sexist. accepting that fact.

In this case, than yes, I agree with you.

and Aethian, Andara already said that helping people becauise it will help them is great, yous post does seem like a strawman.

[SkullKing]

You NEVER make ANY direct contact with a beginner. All punches and kicks are controlled and stop an inch or 2 away from their target. Any contact that is made is from them using their arms to block your "strikes." Sparring amongst beginners is done in full padded gear and in steps, like a turn based game.

Why?

(I will be happy to start another thread if you or the OP think this is too off topic)

[crashhelmet]

Could you explain why this is?

Is purely because of their sex?

Or is it because most of your students, were abused by men, and thus you need to be extra careful due to their past?

Yes, it's because of their sex.
It's because of the way I was raised in regards to their sex.
It's because I cannot and will not tolerate violence towards women.
I think men that beat women are pieces of shit and are only alive because it's illegal for someone to kill them.
The same can be said for any bully that picks on someone weaker than them. Male, female, gay, straight, white, black, it doesn't matter.

If a student, regardless of their gender, comes up to me that was abused, assaulted, and/or raped and wants to learn, I'll be considerate of their psyche as they train. I'll never put them through anything that may trigger a flashback. The same can be said for the former military I teach that may have PTSD issues.

The rape and abuse victims were special classes for non-students. I don't teach regular classes to women only and men only. Those special classes are organized by myself, my team, Las Vegas Metro, and a former local reporter that was a victim of rape herself and an advocate of prevention and protection. I have also taught that same class inside a gentlemen's club to dancers when one of my former students, a dancer, requested it.

BTW, if I haven't mentioned it already, these special classes are free. Just another addition to show how discriminatory to women and children that I am.

[Aethian]

In this case, than yes, I agree with you.

and Aethian, Andara already said that helping people becauise it will help them is great, yous post does seem like a strawman.

Thats your view. My view is she has NOT put up a line where she doesn't consider is sexism anymore.

[crashhelmet]

Why?

(I will be happy to start another thread if you or the OP think this is too off topic)

Fear, mostly. They don't know what to do. They don't have the practice or the reflexes to defend against something that would actually hit them.

Sparring with beginners is like watching a fight on Jersey Shore. They're just flailing their arms and legs, with no control. So one person gets to throw 3-5 attacks, while the other person moves and defends, and then switch sides. Repeat until they get the hang of it.

It's like training wheels on a bike. Teach them proper form and reduce the risk of injury

[Andara Bledin]

Then my earlier assessment regarding how you treat your female students was correct.

Regardless of your reasons, the fact that you can't give them the same treatment as you give your male students can have a detrimental impact on their own self-esteem. Your hang-ups can lead to others developing hang-ups.

And, ultimately, you don't see women as equals.

^-.-^

[kibbles]

Yet again, I did not refer to you as halfwits and idiots.

"It's like half the forum has decided to stumble around this thread like halfwits and fools"

I'm sorry if I am misinterpreting this line, but it does sound like you are referring to posters as halfwits and fools.

And for me unless someone is being extremely condescending towards me because of my gender, a person's actions (even if they are motivated by dormant sexist attitudes) does not bother me in the least.

But that's just me.

[Aethian]

Then my earlier assessment regarding how you treat your female students was correct.

Regardless of your reasons, the fact that you can't give them the same treatment as you give your male students can have a detrimental impact on their own self-esteem. Your hang-ups can lead to others developing hang-ups.

And, ultimately, you don't see women as equals.

^-.-^

Funny I thought it was because they are beginners?

[Andara Bledin]

Thats your view. My view is she has NOT put up a line where she doesn't consider is sexism anymore.

I've put this line down several times.

So, once more, I will lay it out:

If you do something for the sake of being nice, you're fine.

If your decision would be different dependent on whether the person had a penis or a vagina, then you're sexist.

It' just that simple.

Seriously, you could look up the definition for "sexist" in any dictionary and you'd know where my line was.

^-.-^

[Andara Bledin]

Funny I thought it was because they are beginners?

I'm not talking about beginners. He doesn't have trouble with beginners.

Are you even reading these posts?

^-.-^

[crashhelmet]

Then my earlier assessment regarding how you treat your female students was correct.

Regardless of your reasons, the fact that you can't give them the same treatment as you give your male students can have a detrimental impact on their own self-esteem. Your hang-ups can lead to others developing hang-ups.

And, ultimately, you don't see women as equals.

^-.-^

When it comes to me teaching them martial arts, they're not my equals. None of my students, male or female, are my equals. It's what makes me the instructor and them the students.

But I do not diminish their training at all. I simply relegate certain aspects of it over to someone else, so that they still get the training they deserve to get. They still learn a considerable amount from me. I just won't spar them.

But yes, I know I'm wrong for not hitting them as hard as I do the men. But when it comes to that, I don't want to be right.

[Andara Bledin]

As I said earlier, it's good that you're aware of the issue and work around it.

It's not ideal, of course, but it's one of the better options.

^-.-^

[Aethian]

I'm not talking about beginners. He doesn't have trouble with beginners.

Are you even reading these posts?

^-.-^

Yes, and I'm wondering when your going to stop calling people sexist because they don't want some person to take a hit wrong and call it rape or inappropriate touching. Or when your going to take the chip off your shoulder and realize that just because you think someone has ulterior motives they may not.

[SkullKing]

Thats your view. My view is she has NOT put up a line where she doesn't consider is sexism anymore.

That's essentially my point.

If you treat people nice because they're people, that's great. Keep it up. We should all be trying to do just that.

However, if you treat people differently based purely on their sex, then you are, by the most basic definition, sexist.

Seems pretty clear cut to me.

even if it wasn´t before the quoted post.

And to be fair Andara, even if that was not your intention, your post about half-wits and fools did sound offensive to me, even if you said that people were acting like rather than actually being half-wits and fools, that can be pretty fine line

[Andara Bledin]

My comment about people acting like halfwits and fools was a direct result of people not reading what I'd written and reacting to what they thought I had written.

It's not my fault that those same people did the exact same thing again, thus proving my point for me.

^-.-^