The Don't go voice

[gremcint]

so I'm sure some of you have read Hyperbole and a Half's comic comparing depression to dead fish that nobody seems to accept as dead http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca...-part-two.html

and you might also be on the probably sizeable chunk of the venn diagram of people who have also read the Oatmeal's comic about the blerch http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running


I have a different issue, I don't have a clever name for it, it's just something that happens when ever there's something to go to outside my normal routine. My normal routine is to usually stay home just chill and stay relaxed and sometimes get some work done.

When I want to go and do something there is always a voice in the back of my head that says don't go. Always. It doesn't matter how fun it is or how far in advance I plan on going there is always the voice. For example I have a weekly game with my two best friends and even though it's no big deal, I'm comfortable around them and have lots of fun I still get the don't go voice, usually it's small but it's there, "I know it'll be fun, I know what'll happen you don't have to worry it's safe but still just stay home and play video games." It's this weird combination of laziness, social anxiety, fear of unknown situations and anxiety at breaking routine.

And while being around people tires me out it's not what usually puts me against going it's thinking about arranging rides, being tired (I hate being tired because I am tired a lot thanks to my job so it feels like I never that much time to do stuff around the house) going out in the weather and shit like that that make me go ah it's not worth the trouble. Then basically I sit there with the two voices warring in my head saying go/don't go until one wins out, usually at the last minute. Hell this will happen when ordering food even, I'll decide to get something different and then when asked for my order just get my usual stuff. It's the change, it's the difference, I know I'll like it but it's not what I usually get.

Tonight I want to go to the magic tournament at the card shop but due to rides I would have to crash at someone else place, which means sleeping in something other than my bed, and having to deal with getting breakfast and just every step along the way. Most people look at this and just go "what's the big deal" but me it just keeps coming up in my head over and over again as a problem. I was ready to go but I get up today and you add miserable weather and that's just enough to tip it into don't go, of course that could change again. I mentioned that with the weather I didn't want to go and one of the responses was "what are you afraid you'll melt?" no I'm afraid I'll catch a cold or be extra tired and have all my spare energy for the week be gone, especially when I don't have another full day off until thursday.

add on that I usually try to do stuff when I'm already in town and leave the days where i don't have to be in town alone so I'd rather go grocery shopping after work than the next day when I don't have to go anywhere afterwards at all, but my parents who want me to help with stuff try to wait until I have the day off so they don't bug me when I'm tired after work and then don't understand why I get so upset, especially when they add new stops out of nowhere.

[Boozy]

Tonight I want to go to the magic tournament at the card shop but due to rides I would have to crash at someone else place, which means sleeping in something other than my bed, and having to deal with getting breakfast and just every step along the way. Most people look at this and just go "what's the big deal" but me it just keeps coming up in my head over and over again as a problem.

To be honest, that sounds like a complete pain in the ass to me. I wouldn't have gone either.

[Nekojin]

There's one of the Myers-Briggs analysis sites that suggests that the difference between an Introverted personality and an Extroverted personality is that an Extrovert gains energy from being in social situations, while an Introvert spends energy in social situations. If there's any validity to that observation, that certainly sounds like what you're dealing with.

[Kheldarson]

There's one of the Myers-Briggs analysis sites that suggests that the difference between an Introverted personality and an Extroverted personality is that an Extrovert gains energy from being in social situations, while an Introvert spends energy in social situations. If there's any validity to that observation, that certainly sounds like what you're dealing with.

That's actually one of the accepted differences between the two. Myers-Briggs borrowed it from Carl Jung to begin with, so it's been around longer than the MBTI--that test just helped popularize the two.

But I'm not sure the I-E difference is what's in play here: introversion is decidedly different from shyness and social anxieties. Introversion merely says "I prefer small groups and intimate conversations, but can deal with, at cost to myself, larger groups and small talk." Shyness and anxieties are scared of/put off by such interactions.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I hear you (no pun intended) on that voice. Thankfully, due to my parents forcing me to interact, I'm now able to ignore that voice and socialise, cuz now I force myself. The forcing wasn't done out of nastiness, it was done out of love. As a teenager, I hated going out, talking to strangers especially on the phone, interacting with anyone who wasn't family and putting myself in the public eye. My mother made me do all these things, and I love her for it.

When I moved into town, I at first heard the "Don't go" voice telling me to stay inside my new flat. With a struggle, I ignored it and went down the local pub on Saturday night. Everyone there welcomed me and I was glad I'd gone.

[Greenday]

I mentioned that with the weather I didn't want to go and one of the responses was "what are you afraid you'll melt?" no I'm afraid I'll catch a cold

You can't catch a cold from rain or cold.

Having said that, there are times when I get big boosts from social engagements but most of the time, they drain me. And staying at someone else's place (Unless we hook up) is never a favorable option for me.

[gremcint]

yes but that's what happened last time, and the cold and damp can lead to a sore throat if you let it.