Mourning my friends

[Rubystars]

This is off topic a little bit from the forum but I was wondering if anybody could explain this to me.

Eight months ago one of my friends had her second child, a son. I was really happy for her, bought her a present off her registry for the baby, etc. Of course leading up to and after the birth she posted a lot about her little boy and how happy she was to have him, etc. This was to be expected and it actually made me happy to see these posts.

The irritating thing though to me is that it never stopped or even slowed down. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, she's posting about him. Over and over and over I'm seeing posts about every little cute expression he makes, every other meal he has, every toy he plays with, etc. The kid is 8 months old. All he can do is eat, poop, pee, and drool all over himself. He's just not that interesting.

I'm really starting to wonder if this friend of mine is the same friend I've known for over a decade and I guess I'm mourning the fact that she doesn't seem to be there anymore and now all I see is the equivalent of "Yay, my kid burped today!"

Now there's another friend of mine who is pregnant and due in a few months and she's doing the same thing, posting a bunch of trite parenting quotation image macros.

This friend also seems to have died and turned into an obsessed mom.

I could unfollow them but then I would miss out if anything else happened in their life. I'm just wondering why they are acting this way.

Is this normal for them to behave this way? Is this some kind of sickness that they seem to have nothing else to post about?

[Sleepwalker]

Pretty normal. Some people do it after marriage/new relationship, too, they just have an entirely new center of gravity for their interests. She may or may not rediscover outside interests, depending on how interesting she actually finds being a 24/7 100% mommy.

[anakhouri]

Her second kid? I'm pregnant with our second and this child will be lucky if we manage to get any photos of it, ever. We took way too many of the first one... We're busier now.

If this is #2 and she is still acting like this 8 months in, you might have lost her for good. She could still be retrieved, so it depends on how interested you are in keeping the friendship, but honestly if it was me I would cut her loose by now. I have little patience for people who drop their own identity in favor of 'so & so's mommy' (or 'so & so's wife, in some cases). I am me, and I happen to be someone's wife and someone's mommy, but those are just two aspects of my identity. There's a lot more here too.

Sure, my kid(s) are a huge focal point, especially since I'm a stay-at-home mom, but I do have other interests, and I realize that not everyone in the world is as fascinated by my child(ren) as I am. I reel it in, something your friends seem to be having trouble understanding.

[Rubystars]

Thanks for the replies.

I do want to stay friends with her. I think she's a smart person and a nice person. We both like MLP and Dr. Who and sometimes I buy collectibles from her on ebay.

She used to make interesting posts (I didn't always agree with them, but they were at least interesting to read).

I really can't relate to her about the baby stuff much because I'm not a mom.

I knew it was getting bad when I started thinking of this innocent child as "the drool bucket".

At least maybe if the kid was older and doing more interesting things it would be more interesting to read about but I find all this baby posting really annoying.

[siead_lietrathua]

one thing i can reccomend is maybe take her off your feed. you'll still get updates from her if you have her in a catagory listing, but your main wall will be baby-free. that may help your sanity at least.
but yeah, the one disadvantage of FB is some people go overshare-crazy. you can still have interesting convos, it just might be shafted off to IM land.
or, post stuff on her wall to converse about, even if it's only pony memes.

if all else fails... you can always go read stfuparents and be glad it's not THAT bad.... (or if it is, submit away j/k)

[Rubystars]

I may end up having to do that siead. Thanks for the advice. I really thought it would have slowed down some by 8 months.

[DGoddess]

Pretty normal. Some people do it after marriage/new relationship, too, they just have an entirely new center of gravity for their interests. She may or may not rediscover outside interests, depending on how interesting she actually finds being a 24/7 100% mommy.

My BFF is doing that and I check in to keep up. Haven't had a chance to go see her and the baby since they were still in the hospital (she lives 30 minutes away from me and we have different work schedules) but when we're on the phone, Baby Lillypad is in the background, babbling away at times (she's wanting in on our conversations.)

After everything my friend went through to have Lillypad (she miscarried twin girls 3 years ago at 21 weeks - unexpected premature labor which was later discovered to have been caused by placenta previa) it took her 2 more years to get pregnant again.

And after another high risk pregnancy (extreme morning sickness both times/numerous ED visits for dehydration/anti nausea meds/pulled out of work on modified bedrest with IV fluids administered at home) she managed to carry this little babbling, smiling miracle to 38 1/2 weeks. Not to mention this little girl is the only grandchild for not only her parents, but her PIL's also (hubby is an only child) so naturally not only do I want to keep up with what she's doing, I want to know what's going on with my Lillypad.

And my mom is the same way: half the time I've got her on speakerphone so she can tell both me and Mom the latest.

Yes, she still brings up the twins (which is normal) and although I may have vented on her about how I wish she didn't do it so much, after thinking about everything she went through, I honestly don't think I'd react much different if I had been in her shoes.

So I let her speak freely - b/c she is my BFF and has been for 15 years or more now. We tell each other everything - like friends should. I wouldn't trade Poohbear for all the fair weather friends in the world.

[Rubystars]

I don't hate babies or children. I just don't want to hear about every little thing they do on a daily basis.