My Imminent Divorce

[Ghel]

My STBEH is an asshole. As far as I can figure out, here's what happened:

The utility bill was in STBEH's name. I hadn't bothered changing it into my name because I figured it was no big deal. It would get changed when the house was foreclosed or sold. (I should have changed it as soon as I told STBEH that I wanted a divorce.) STBEH must have started having his mail forwarded to TN some time early in January, because I never got the January utility bill, nor a late notice. Thinking back, I haven't gotten any other mail in his name this month, either. I didn't think much of it since I've been marking all of his mail "return to sender - not at this address." I finally realized today I hadn't gotten a bill, so I called the utility company. They gave me the amount due and instructions how to change the bill into my name. I have to jump through hoops by filling out an application (for my own damned house!) and fax it to them with proof that I own the house (such as the deed or a mortgage).

What pisses me off is that if I'm correct, STBEH had his mail forwarded, got the utility bill, then decided not to tell me about it! If I hadn't noticed, the utilities could have gotten turned off without me ever receiving a late notice!

While we're on the subject of things that STBEH's doing that piss me off... He texted my brother from his new cell number, and naturally, my brother gave me his new cell number. And because the mortgage company had been bugging me for it, I provided STBEH's cell number to the mortgage company. Their collection agent relayed to me that STBEH is refusing to make the payments (no surprise, but what an asshole!) and he claimed that I had refinanced the first mortgage into just my name (which I couldn't do without STBEH signing the mortgage, even if I could afford to refinance it on my salary). STBEH is either very deluded or lying his ass off.

[Andara Bledin]

Based on what you've said, I sincerely doubt that STBEH could possibly be deluded unless he's incompetent to the point of being incapable of caring for himself...

[Ghel]

The only other option seems to be that he's lying, and I don't want to believe that. But considering the lies of omission he made towards the end of our relationship, I guess it's not that much of a stretch.

[Ghel]

Minor update, but one that makes me feel a lot less stressed. I spoke to both mortgage companies yesterday, and neither of them has started the legal proceedings for foreclosure yet. In fact, the second mortgagee said that they won't be foreclosing. They'll let the first mortgagee decide if they want to foreclose, since they'll have to pay off the second mortgage when they foreclose. (They didn't actually say that last bit, but as a loan originator, I know that's how it works.)

So maybe I can still get the house sold before they foreclose.

[SkullKing]

I don´t really know what exactly that means since I have no Idea How mortgages work, but Good luck.

[Ghel]

Basically, it means that since they haven't started the foreclosure, I have at least 9 months before they kick me out of my own house.

[SkullKing]

Not getting kicked out of your house is good.

I hope they not foreclose some more

[Ghel]

Thanks. There's also a couple showings this weekend, so maybe I can still get it sold soon.

[Sarah Valentine]

What's gonna happen when you sell the house, do you still have to make certain payments on stuff or is that on the new owners or do you split it? I'm really hoping after the house is sold your STBEH will be less of an asshole.

[TheHuckster]

What's gonna happen when you sell the house, do you still have to make certain payments on stuff or is that on the new owners or do you split it? I'm really hoping after the house is sold your STBEH will be less of an asshole.

Generally speaking, if you're selling the house for less than what you still owe on it, you have to make up the difference. Ideally, you can pay off that difference in cash, but if you can't, then it typically ends up a "short sale" which gets really complicated and you're effectively at the mercy of the bank to allow it and even then the balance owed after the sale still needs to be settled in some way.

However, if you can sell it for more than what you still owe, then everything is honky-dory. You probably still have to make whatever interest payments you owe from lack of paying, though.

[Ghel]

There's also the possibility that they'll add on legal fees if they start the foreclosure process, so the fact that they haven't started the foreclosure is good in that sense, too. I have the house on the market for enough to pay off the first and second mortgage, with enough left over to pay the realtor's commission. I won't get anything out of it except for getting out from under the mortgages, but that's just fine.

[wolfie]

I wouldn't be surprised if, after the house sells, STBEH doesn't start ranting and raving about how you cheated him by not forwarding half the GROSS proceeds, as if paying off the mortgages and costs related to the closing were all supposed to come out of your share.

[Sarah Valentine]

Didn't he want nothing to do with the house, after all he stopped paying for utilities and shit. So according to me if you stop making payments on something after you say it's someone else's problem you have NO right to the money after that someone else sells it, it makes no difference if the something is a house or a car, hell it could even be a bicycle.

[Ghel]

I was served the foreclosure documents last weekend. The sheriff's sale will be next month, and then I have a 6-month redemption period, during which I can continue to live in the house. I emailed my ex to let him know, and he didn't even respond. What an asshole.

I'm going to leave the house on the market until my contract with the realtor expires. Even if I get an offer now, I don't know if the bank will accept it. And it would probably be a short sale, anyway (meaning the bank would have to eat the loss, and there wouldn't be any money left over for my ex and me to fight over anyway). He wouldn't be able to take any of the gross proceeds, since the bank has to get paid off first.

I'm looking at moving to the Minneapolis area before the end of the year, assuming I can find a job. It's more liberal, better populated (so better chance of finding like-minded people to socialize with and/or date), and it's near where my brother lives.

[cewfa]

I'm sorry to hear about this, I will be sending good thoughts your way. I am curious though, what is a "sheriff's sale"?