My Imminent Divorce

[Ghel]

Thanks, cewfa.

A sheriff's sale is part of the foreclosure process. About a month after the foreclosure, there's a sale, although sale isn't a very good name for it - auction would be better - since the house goes up for bids. The bank holding the mortgage will generally bid enough to pay off the mortgage and their legal fees. If anybody bids higher than the bank (which is rare), that money goes to the bank.

[SkullKing]

Don´t really have anything to add, So I am just wishing you good luck.

[Aragarthiel]

Ghel, I just read your OP and I have to say, the whole situation sounds like it sucks. Your ex sounds like he was really controlling, and sadly, people like that never change.

That said, do you mind if I PM you with some questions? Nothing too personal, I promise.

[Ghel]

Thanks, SkullKing.

Thanks, Aragarthiel. Yes, you may PM me.

[Peppergirl]

Hey Ghel - just bumping to see how you're doing with all this. Well, I hope!

[Ghel]

Amazing timing, Peppergirl. Today's the last day of the redemption period for the foreclosure. I'm going over to the house tonight after work to make sure I've got everything out that I want to keep. I should have gotten an eviction notice from the mortgage company, but I never did. Theoretically, they could change the locks tomorrow, but I really doubt they will.

One of the weird things about the foreclosure is that the mortgage company didn't bid on the house. I assume they still get the house, but I haven't gotten any correspondence from them. It's possible any mail is going to my STBEH.

I didn't get a single offer on the house while it was up for sale. Not even a really low-ball one that would have required a short sale. I'm really disappointed. It's a beautiful house. I hate to see it empty.

I found a one-bedroom apartment that accepts pets. It's a little more expensive than I would have liked, but it will do. At least I get to keep my cats. I gave my dog away about a month ago.

I intend to file for divorce next month, since we should be done with the foreclosure. The attorney's fees should be cheaper.

[Peppergirl]

Aw, man - I'm really sorry about the house. It's a shame you didn't get any nibbles on it.

[Ghel]

I agree. It's a beautiful house. Someone (maybe a family of four) should be living in it.

I called the mortgage company this morning, trying to figure out what's going on with the house. Mostly because I don't want to have to heat it any more. I've got the heat turned down to 55F, but if I don't have to pay it any more, I won't. The mortgage company gave me the number of the attorney they hired to process the foreclosure. They also put in a case with whatever department is handling my file, and they're supposed to call me within 3 business days. (So sometime next week because of the holiday.)

I called the attorney, and they told me that the property gets turned over to Freddie Mac. If I was worried about "asset retention," I should call the mortgage company. But I'd already told them that I didn't want to heat the house any more, so I didn't bother to call them back.

[Ghel]

I don't know if anybody's still paying attention to this thread...

but I finally talked to the divorce attorney again. I decided to use the same one I talked to about a year and a half ago. (It's hard to believe it's been that long.) She said the divorce could be done within a month or so, assuming my STBEH doesn't argue against paying alimony. Which he probably will, I just don't know how forcefully.

I had to take out a loan to pay the retainer fee, so I got to see exactly how much STBEH has ruined my credit. With the foreclosed first mortgage and charged-off second mortgage, my credit score is only 602. If I hadn't gone through the bank where I work to get the loan, I almost certainly wouldn't have been able to get it.

I am very lucky in that way. I can imagine someone in a similar situation to mine being unable to get divorced because they can't get a loan to pay for an attorney and they make too much to qualify for legal assistance. I'm also lucky in that I could have dug into my retirement fund to pay for the divorce, but that would have been my last choice. The attorney thinks it's likely that I'll get awarded both attorney fees and alimony in the divorce.

[Sarah Valentine]

I hope everything goes well and you get all the money you deserve, I also hope he stops being an asshole. Good luck with finally getting this settled.

[HYHYBT]

Glad this ordeal is almost over.

[s_stabeler]

yeah, well, I hate to point this out, but actually collecting both alimony and attorney fees might well be an issue. STBEH sounds like the kind of asshole who would both refuse to pay, and actively hide assets from collection efforts.

[Ghel]

There's a couple things I can do about collecting the alimony (the second option might work for attorney's fees, too). My attorney said we might be able to get the state to collect the alimony for me, directly from STBEH's paycheck. It's a system that's normally used to collect child support, but she says she's seen it used to collect alimony, too.

The second option is to let the amount he owes to build up long enough that it makes financial sense to sue him for it. In that case, I would probably have to hire an attorney in Tennessee to represent me, and it would be an extra cost for me. But I could probably ask for attorney's fees on top of what he owes me in that case, too.

I could see him trying to hide his assets from collection efforts, but he can't hide his income. Unless he quits his cushy IT job and starts working cash-only jobs. Which I can't see him doing. I heard from a mutual friend a few weeks ago that he's already dissatisfied with his current job (where he's only been working for about a year) and looking for a better-paying one.

[static]

Good to hear that the end is finally in sight. I hope he doesn't cause too much more hassle, though I guess that's a bit much to ask for considering his track record.

[Sarah Valentine]

After thinking about it if I were you I'd go for getting your money right out of his paycheck, that way there's no excuse as to why he can't pay because that way he has to.