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Former Nay SEAL takes care of business

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  • #1

    Former Nay SEAL takes care of business

    This one is almost safe to post on CS, but tipped a bit more this way. Enjoy

    A former SEAL's home was invaded by a group of young gang members who had invaded the REALLY wrong house. He disarmed & subdued them all, and then he called the cops. The soldier in question is the one credited with taking out Osama Bin Laden.

    Pull quote of the day:

    “It was nothing really. Those kids didn’t have their mission planned out properly and hit the wrong target. I hated to break their wrists and dislocate each of their knees like I did, but it was necessary in order to immobilize the invasion. I hope they get the money that is owed to them once they get out of jail and decide to live better lives. My main concern is getting my back door fixed. Those boys really did a number on the door jamb,” O’Neill stated.
    Last edited by EricKei; 12-18-2014, 12:52 PM.
    "Judge not, lest ye get shot in your bed while your sleep." - Liz, The Dreadful
    "If you villainize people who contest your points, you will eventually find yourself surrounded by enemies that you made." - Philip DeFranco
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I loved reading the story. According to the comments, though, it's a fake story.

    Either way, a good read, and good laugh.

    Comment

    • #3
      OK, having someone welch on a drug debt is unlucky,
      getting the wrong home when you try to collect via intimidation ( presumably) is unlucky.
      accidentally invading the home of a soldier is really unlucky
      the soldier being a SEAL is the kind of luck that makes you wonder about whoever gave you the address
      the SEAL being the one who killed Bin Laden? if it wasn't for the proof, I'd be suggesting you were making crap up.

      seriously, that's pretty unlucky. I can only say I hope the thugs take this as a sign they need to go straight, because with that kind of luck, i doubt they have a stellar career in crime ahead of them.

      EDIT- OK, assuming you knew, you got me. It's a satire site.

      Comment

      • #4
        Empire News is an Onion-like satirical publication, so the story is definitely fake.

        Comment

        • #5
          Yea, read it yesterday and laughed super hard. Too bad it's a satire site.
          Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

          Comment

          • #6
            I think the side headlines like Christmas to be referred to as "Present's Day" in 2015, Urban Outfitters carrying ISIS t-shirts and North Korea launching nukes at the US would be a hint. >.>

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by Gravekeeper View Post
              I think the side headlines like Christmas to be referred to as "Present's Day" in 2015, Urban Outfitters carrying ISIS t-shirts and North Korea launching nukes at the US would be a hint. >.>
              Unfortunately at least the first two are plausible, seeing that we've discussed far more unbelievable stuff that actually happened.

              The third isn't impossible, but it'd be one of those things that wouldn't be on the side headline in between the other two.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by s_stabeler View Post
                getting the wrong home when you try to collect via intimidation ( presumably) is unlucky.
                Is it just me, or does it look to you guys like this ties into the current "hot" story about CIA torture - and the quality of information obtained via torture?

                I've heard about a similar case (poor target selection, not CIA torture) some years back. A TV series had just come on the air, and a couple of street thugs figured the star would be rich, so they tried to rob him (note "tried"). When the police arrived, he was lounging against a wall, and the (bruised and battered) thugs were lying in the gutter. What TV show was it? Walker, Texas Ranger (yep, the star in question is the subject of an internet meme).

                Comment

                • #9
                  Well there is a basis for the story about someone picking the absolute worst target imaginable.

                  There has to be something said for trying to rob one of the fastest men in the world, spotted by another, trying to outrun them (it's not like they're unknown people), then claiming innocent while being recorded by the news crew interviewing them.

                  Sadly that something said is "you're a plonker of such magnitude that Charles Darwin weeps at your existence."

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                  • #10
                    When I worked for an alarm company, they had a training recording where we got the signal and called the house. An older man answers and verified himself and says yes there was a break in and could we please call the PD. we ask if he is okay and he says yeah he has the two boys sitting on his couch right now so its not a rush on the cops.

                    We are told later by the cops that the man had disarmed the kids and was using their own gun to hold them till the cops got there.

                    And that was a sane call we handled. Alarm security calls are interesting...

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