Not living to work. Is there something wrong with me?

[Rageaholic]

I'm starting to think there's some expectation in America that we live to work, but I always saw it the opposite. We work because it pays the bills and puts food on the table. But from my experience with job interviews, I always got the feeling that that wasn't good enough for employers (especially since of all the interviews I had, I only had one call me back to work, and even that was after volunteering there for well over a year).

It's like even for minimum wage jobs, there are so many expectations required before you even get in the door. And it goes beyond just learning the proper skills. They want a certain personality and if you don't have the personality, the advice is always to change it to make yourself more marketable.

I say fuck that shit. I'm willing to work and I have some skills. I'll even work weekends or holidays if it comes to it. But I'm not going to change my personality or adjust my life just to please some employer. That's when working to live becomes living to work and I won't do it. Some might say that's 'bad work ethic' or some bullshit, but I don't think it is. Work doesn't bother me. It's being expected to change yourself and make your career path number 1 that makes me say nay nay (to quote a late comedian).

[Gravekeeper]

I tried the whole live to work thing for 10 years.

Now I have PTSD and my life is an empty, meanless void spent slowly waiting for death.

So, yeah.

[telecom_goddess]

I won't do it. I work only to pay my bills and have a roof and food. And I sure won't change my life or personality around for some job. What I do on my time in my life is my business. My life is being sucked away enough with a 9 hour workday and a 3 hour commute each day. That is more than enough.

[Andara Bledin]

Businesses want to be your number one top priority. And with the economy still pretty crap, there are too many people willing to do that to secure a job. At least initially, anyway.

I've always been of the opinion that while on the clock, my job was my top priority after my own wellbeing. After all, if I'm sick or dead, I won't be a very good employee, now, will I?

I take pride in my work and do a damn good job at it, but working is a means to an end and not an end in and of itself.

My ex has an uncle who worked himself into the hospital and thought such a path was admirable. I never told him to his face what a stupid and selfish thing it was for him to overwork himself until he was depriving both his business and his family of his presence just so that he could thump his chest about what a hard worker he was. >_<

[Kuari]

I work primarily to ensure a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a bed to sleep in at night, and to make sure I've got a few bucks left for entertainment. I do take pride in doing my job well, but I will not bust my ass off for more than I'm scheduled for. I know some people who have more than one job because they are after that almighty dollar, but they are sacrificing pretty much everything else for the sake of being able to say that they make a lot of money.

When I am looking for work I will make like I am willing to toe the company line and appear that my life will revolve around the job. But once I'm actually in said position I will not go too far above and beyond to the job. Go ahead and guilt me for not working any and all OT that is offered - I will work it when and if I want to. I may or may not attend work events. I may or may not volunteer on behalf of the company.

[Rageaholic]

I won't do it. I work only to pay my bills and have a roof and food. And I sure won't change my life or personality around for some job. What I do on my time in my life is my business. My life is being sucked away enough with a 9 hour workday and a 3 hour commute each day. That is more than enough.

This is what I thought when one of my professors (who's very career oriented) mentioned a principle at a school he was selling to asking him what books he read for fun. He admitted that he didn't read, but what he took away from the experience was that he needed to read more because some authority asked about it. What I would take from it is either a) he was just trying to be friendly or b) if he wasn't being friendly and trying to base some opinion based on something arbitrary, than he's an idiot and needs to mind his own business.

That's also one of the main reasons I despised that cracked article that everyone thought was so inspiring (6 harsh truths). A basic message such as "do something, anything that contributes to society" was poisoned with self loathing, pro corporate garbage in which he found the villain (a sociopathic boss) in Glengary Glenn Ross inspiring.

[AccountingDrone]

I tried the whole live to work thing for 10 years.

Now I have PTSD and my life is an empty, meanless void spent slowly waiting for death.

So, yeah.

And while the stories were excellent [and you have quite a way of telling them] it simply was not worth it. [Either physically or mentally]

[protege]

I work primarily to ensure a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a bed to sleep in at night, and to make sure I've got a few bucks left for entertainment. I do take pride in doing my job well, but I will not bust my ass off for more than I'm scheduled for.

That's exactly why I work--a roof over my head, food in my (and the kitties') belly, and somewhere to sleep at night. 9 hours a day, with a 1-hour commute each way, I'm willing to follow the company's pied piper. Outside of that, the company can go fuck itself. Server blew up at 5:01? Not my problem.

To me, it's just a job and nothing more. I do my 9 hours, and at 5:00, it's time to head home. I once tried to get a jump on the next day by sticking around a few minutes. But, after my boss started bugging me at home to fix stuff, I had enough. I don't mind it when I'm on the clock, but off? Fuck that.

I know some people who have more than one job because they are after that almighty dollar, but they are sacrificing pretty much everything else for the sake of being able to say that they make a lot of money.

My dad did that most of my childhood. Not so much so he could say he made a lot of money. No, he gave up a *very* good job (senior VP at an advertising agency) in order to be able to see his children grow up. Constant travel meant that I didn't see him much, except for weekends and at night. It wasn't until about 1st grade that he had enough, and went into business for himself. The first few years he did OK. Then the early 1980s recession hit, and many of his clients (local steel mills, factories, breweries, etc.) either closed or left the area.

That's when the money problems started. Mom worked full-time, but because of my dad's age (41-42...which really isn't all that old), it was damn near impossible to get a job. He had to take what he could get--reffing soccer games, working at the hardware store, doing odd jobs for people--just to make ends meet.

After seeing my dad go through that for nearly 20 years, and the resulting health issues, I decided that I was *not* going to put myself through that. Dad probably aged about 50 years during that period. Needing to do that to pay your bills is fine. But, doing it just because you want to be rich? IMHO, the stress and health problems aren't worth it.

[SkullKing]

I tried the whole live to work thing for 10 years.

Now I have PTSD and my life is an empty, meanless void spent slowly waiting for death.

So, yeah.

Wow man.

What happened?

I mean, I know you had it bad, buit didn´t know it was "meaningless void' bad

[Rageaholic]

Good to see I'm not alone here. I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with me because I have no passion for career. Even though I'm going to college and majoring in business, I have only a vague idea of what to do from there. I'm kind of hoping an opportunity pops up (though I am going to use the college resources to find those opportunities).

I also despise having to sell myself. It's such a pain in the ass and a lot of the time when I bring up strengths, some douchebag interviewer puts me in the awkward position of having to defend myself. I'm just not good with that and wish finding a job didn't have to be so competitive.

[Gravekeeper]

Wow man.

What happened?

I mean, I know you had it bad, buit didn´t know it was "meaningless void bad"

After a year of treatment I just had to go on disability pension. What I use to talk about on CS was only half of it. The other half I never talked about because I was burying it and was under an NDA.

The other half is the suicidal callers, dead bodies, a stalker, etc, while spending 9 hours a day at work, 2 hours in transit and 10-11 hours asleep. I existed only to work and typically spent every shift on painkillers trying to keep undiagnosed PTSD symptoms at bay.

Never mind the amazing levels of verbal abuse. -.-

[Andara Bledin]

Working a call center, particularly one that is an outsource with multiple types of clients that include medical or emergency, can be grueling. And if your bosses don't have your back and maintain a minimum level of sanity in the office, it's soul-crushing.

[XCashier]

Good to see I'm not alone here. I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with me because I have no passion for career....I also despise having to sell myself. It's such a pain in the ass and a lot of the time when I bring up strengths, some douchebag interviewer puts me in the awkward position of having to defend myself. I'm just not good with that and wish finding a job didn't have to be so competitive.

I know that feeling. That's one reason I've stayed with the fabric store so long. Yes, the customers are frequently rude, condescending or stupid, some of the regulations are ridiculous and the work can be tedious, even injury-inducing. However, my bosses and coworkers accept me for who I am; a flawed individual but a good worker.

Every interview I go on, I feel like I'm having to jump through hoops and put on an act for them. Like you said, it's insanely competitive. I am looking for a better job, but I don't want another place like the shifty office job I left in 2011. It's got to be something honest and decent.

[Kuari]

Working a call center, particularly one that is an outsource with multiple types of clients that include medical or emergency, can be grueling. And if your bosses don't have your back and maintain a minimum level of sanity in the office, it's soul-crushing.

Quoted for truth.

This is very much what I deal with in my call center job. I already deal with a host of mental illness issues, and sometimes it gets really difficult for me to not lose my shit at work. I do push for more than a few concessions for mental health reasons, and I make sure that anybody I identify as having mental health issues is aware of what their rights are as employees in terms of mental illness and to make sure that management is aware of their situation. It does help make it not quite as soul-crushing, and more than a few of us have banded together to help maintain our sanity at work.

[XCashier]

After a year of treatment I just had to go on disability pension. What I use to talk about on CS was only half of it. The other half I never talked about because I was burying it and was under an NDA.

Gravekeeper, I knew it was bad, but not that horrible. I'm so sorry you went through all that hell.

:sigh: Why do workplaces do that to people? There's no reason for it. None. It's cruel and sadistic, it burns out the good workers, sends too many people to medication...or worse. Businesses don't seem to comprehend that they'd do better by not destroying the morale and psyches of their workers.

I hope things get better for you, GK. What happened to you, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.