Bigotry and stupidity, Hindu style

[Talon]

Recently one of my extended family died. I didn't know her very well, but I decided to come along and pay respects.

So the Hindu pundit was having a ceremony, just him and the surviving son. I stayed to observe, not participate. Why they had it in their freezing cold garage I have no idea. So, a lot of Sanskrit (I think) prayers spoken, offerings for the dead placed on leaves. One of said offerings was wool, in case the dead got cold. Sounded silly to my atheist ears, but I didn't go there to judge. But apparently the pundit had other ideas.

So I'm trying not to nod off in the cold garage, while in my head contemplating exactly how money-less economics in the Star Trek universe might actually work, when this came out of the pundit's mouth:

"...and that's why there's so many gays and lesbians in the world."

Wait what?
Now he had my full attention.

"They think they can act against the laws of nature, but they can't escape their karma."

Dafuq?! That just came out of left-field. LGBT issues don't affect me personally, but ignorance and stupidity grind my gears.

First, for the record, same-sex relations have been observed in nature.
So this notion that gays and lesbians are acting against the laws of nature is demonstrably false. Does his god reward ignorance?

Second, I guess it never occurred to this pundit that maybe his god made gays and lesbians what they are. Who is he to judge people for what they are?

Third, why the FUCK is he bringing up gays and lesbians at all?

I wanted to demand to know if the pundit was here to pray for the dead, or espouse bigotry and stupidity against the living? But I didn't. Sadly I know all too well how religion can cloud the intellect, where normally intelligent and reasonable people turn into blithering buffoons. I ended up making a sound of disgust and walking out the room. I don't think anyone picked up on that.

Mind you I couldn't care less if my relatives thought less of me for daring to question a pundit. But I also didn't think raising a stink would have accomplished anything either. If I ever meet that pundit again, I fully intend to, as politely as possible, tell him exactly what I think of him. Again I don't expect much, he's an old guy and probably very set in his ways, and wouldn't appreciate being schooled by someone younger than he. But you never know.

[wraiths_crono]

I know the feeling, recently my grandmother died as a result of a car crash. She had too many injuries for her body to heal at 82 (yes 82 and she was driving someone ran a light while she was making a left) the entire funeral was how happy every one was that she went 'home' to be with god and the entire thing had people talking about how happy they were for her, that she can be with Jesus, and how she served god. everyone that attended was told she died naturally and I got shunned for speaking the truth was told that no one needs to know even the person that was the cause for my grandmother to be out that morning refused to talk about the reasons. plenty of talk about how america needs to get back to the roots of the country and if everyone were like my grandmother the world would be better off.

I will say she was a great woman, whom did not judge others for their lives or choices, but the entire rest of family acts in such a way that if you do not think like them, believe like them, shun gays like them then YOU are a shitty person and we will shun you.

This might not be fully in line with your post, and so I apologize but I have not had a chance to get these feelings out.

[HYHYBT]

If somehow it's not generally known how your grandmother died, why make this person feel bad, especially at the funeral? No, that in your mind they were the "cause" doesn't cut it. Anyone who drives might go that way any time they get in the car, but saying "she wouldn't have been there that moment if not for you" serves no purpose but to make someone feel awful for something that is not reasonably their fault. The mind has enough ways of making that kind of thing seem like your fault as it is.

Third, why the FUCK is he bringing up gays and lesbians at all?

I wanted to demand to know if the pundit was here to pray for the living, or espouse bigotry and stupidity against the living? But I didn't.

Setting aside Hinduism, and any religion really, a funeral is a time for healing. It's not the time to make a scene, and unfortunately some people take advantage of that by saying things that would normally cause one, even if they have to shoehorn it in where it doesn't fit.

[wraiths_crono]

Yeah, too many people going quiet yup or amen to the gay comments made me realise just how much ignorance is still around us.. About the person to 'blame' both her and I were told to remove from our facebook walls any mention that grandma was in a car wreck, as a favor to my father. It seems as if he wanted to hide the truth or ignore what happened, now that I actually was able to process the emotions I realize i forgot these details before but yes, she wanted to talk about how she felt guilty and my dad and his sister told her to not speak of it at all. policing in my family is fun.

[HYHYBT]

Oh. Sorry; I read it the opposite way around.

[Talon]

...but the entire rest of family acts in such a way that if you do not think like them, believe like them, shun gays like them then YOU are a shitty person and we will shun you.

Is shunning by these people supposed to be some kind of punishment?

This might not be fully in line with your post, and so I apologize but I have not had a chance to get these feelings out.

No worries, vent away.

Setting aside Hinduism, and any religion really, a funeral is a time for healing. It's not the time to make a scene.

On the one hand, I agree. Pick your battles. Do not rise to a fool's challenge only to become a fool yourself.

On the other hand, if no one challenges nonsense like this, evil triumphs when good people do nothing and all that.

The funeral wasn't the time or the place. But I fully intend to challenge the pundit if I ever meet him again. Maybe he'll re-think some of his old prejudices, or maybe he'll retreat further into his shell of ignorance. We'll see.

[protege]

Setting aside Hinduism, and any religion really, a funeral is a time for healing. It's not the time to make a scene, and unfortunately some people take advantage of that by saying things that would normally cause one, even if they have to shoehorn it in where it doesn't fit.

Unfortunately, there are some people who enjoy causing a scene...or at least trying to. When my grandmother (dad's mom), who was my last living grandparent, died in 2014, I got to see a similar shit show. My dad's half-sister, started talking shit on everyone--me, my brothers, my mom, her best friend (still don't know why she did that), why we were in our late 30s and still not married, etc. I ignored her, which only seemed to make her get bolder.

That's when she started trying to bait my mom into some sort of "armed confrontation." Seriously? You're going to piss off a woman approaching 70, who is very protective of her now-adult children...and who happens to have a black belt in hapkido? She once dropped a guy who was about 20 years younger, about a foot taller, and probably about 30 pounds heavier. They were doing a sparring demonstration when she got her black belt. Lifted him off his feet, and dropped him on his ass Even so, she let my aunt ramble on and spew her bullshit.

For years, I'd always heard about how much of a bitch my aunt was. I'd never seen it--she never let us see that side of her. But, at the funeral home--and in the limo to the cemetery--she thought she could get away with it. That we'd all chalk it up to being "distraught" over losing her mother. Still, after my dad left in 2015, I don't have to deal with any of them, especially her.