Forgiveness and Christianity

[Panacea]

I'm starting this thread in response to a post on Customer's Suck in Cursing Co workers, here

Here's what the poster had to say,

"I lost my husband about 3 years ago to a drunk driver. Co-worker made a comment about how since I was only married for a year I should not feel as bad and I need to start dating again ASAP. He also told me that the NSFW driver who hit him should be forgiven since as a christian I had to forgive him so his soul could go to heaven. The NSFW driver also died in the crash. Josh was my best friend since freshman year of college and I took it really hard."

So here's where I begin my rant:

This asshole drunk does not have to be forgiven so he can go to heaven. To be forgiven for your sins, you have to ASK for forgiveness. The drunk can't ask for forgiveness because he is dead. He has to deal with the consequences of his actions, which took the life of an innocent human being, before God.

The poster who lost her husband can certainly forgive the drunk if she wants to. It would be charitable of her to do so, and Christ urges us to forgive those who transgress against us . . . but he does so for the benefit of the injured party not the sinner. Anger is poisonous to the soul; it creates bitterness and depression, and leaves physical marks . . . fatigue, etc. Forgiveness can be healing when and ONLY when one is ready to forgive.

But to tell someone they HAVE to forgive the person who harmed them so that person can go to heaven completely misunderstands what forgiveness is about IMHO.

/rant

[Andara Bledin]

But to tell someone they HAVE to forgive the person who harmed them so that person can go to heaven completely misunderstands what forgiveness is about IMHO.

Add me to those who think the other person only thinks she knows anything about forgiveness.

^-.-^

[Hyena Dandy]

Add me to those who think the other person only thinks she knows anything about forgiveness.

^-.-^

Add me to the list.

[Skunkle]

Another vote from me.

It is her choice whether to forgive. I believe the 'friend' who told her this is full of bull.

Me, personally, generally in the case of nasty incidents, verbal or physical, or repeated happenings, I may forgive. I won't forget, in the sense that I keep my radar up in case the person does the same thing or something else later. In the case of someone killing a family member or loved one, I think I could verbally forgive, but I doubt it would change my anger.

[protege]

Somewhat along those lines.. I've posted about my grandmother's nasty 1994 auto accident before. Let's just say that most of my family...wanted the bastard responsible to suffer as much as possible, for as long as possible. I don't think we'd have been so angry, had he not done a few things. Namely, attempting to force his way into her (and my cousin's) hospital room...and a years' worth of threatening phone calls. Had he simply left her alone, I don't think the rest of us would have wanted to "nail his ass to the wall." That is, we bankrupted the son of a bitch

16 years later, we've moved on. Much of the anger might not be there any more, but we still can't forgive the bastard. He nearly took my grandmother's life, and caused her to age a good 20 years. My 9-year-old cousin lost the tail end of his childhood. His injuries meant he could no longer play baseball, video games, or other things he once enjoyed. Sure, he had plastic surgery to repair his face, but he missed out on being a kid. Those two things right there...are why my family cannot forgive the guy. Grandma's car was replaced, but what he took from us...can't