Religious Literature...

[RedRoseSpiral]

Two women in their early twenties used to come by the Chinese take out place I worked at in high school and leave a copy or two of the Watchtower. We had a no soliciting sign, but they always bought something and were real nice. I'd take the magazines home with me and read them to my friend over the phone. I'm pagan and she's an atheist so we usually got a pretty good laugh out of it.

[Ghel]

I don't get much of that at work. I think most of my customers assume I'm a Christian.

But I got a letter and a couple pamphlets mailed to me by a Jehovah's Witness right after my mom died. I thought it was horrible, preying on the bereaved. So I wrote a letter back, asking lots of questions raised by the letter and pamphlets.

Sadly, I didn't get a second letter from them.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I remember a woman standing outside of my college gates accosting anyone who tried to get on campus with her pamphlets and yelling. (Note: I went to an art school, and as you might expect, we had a lot of people who were either gay, bisexual, or just dressed in a way that some very conservative people would assume they were gay.)

Yeah, bet you can guess what she was yelling about.

Eventually she got outnumbered by a bunch of students from the school (me, as a writer, coupled with plenty of graphic design students) with pamphlets that we had made. So we just stood on the other side of the gate from her (still on the outside of the campus) and handed out our literature.

(It was pretty much one giant parody of hers, point for point.)

[Panacea]

I get Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons knocking on my door all the time. I always make it clear to them that I'm a Catholic and they won't convert me, but if they want to discuss religion they're more than welcome to. I've learned quite a lot about each of their faiths this way, and I hope I've taught them more about mine.

The Mormons have always been respectful when I politely decline to talk to them. The JW's and other fundamentalists, not so much.

I have a friend who has a doctorate in theology. When the fundamentalists come knocking on his door quoting Scripture, he'll invite them and and offer to discuss it with them using his Greek and Hebrew Bibles so they can get to the source of what the Bible really says.

Funny, they always decline.

I remember a woman standing outside of my college gates accosting anyone who tried to get on campus with her pamphlets and yelling.

Eventually she got outnumbered by a bunch of students from the school (me, as a writer, coupled with plenty of graphic design students) with pamphlets that we had made. So we just stood on the other side of the gate from her (still on the outside of the campus) and handed out our literature.

Back when I was still an agnostic, I had a problem with this one woman knocking on my door and trying to covert me to her church (I think she was JW, but it's been so long I can't remember for sure). The problem was, she kept coming back, at least once a week and she was very aggressive. It was an irritant to me because I worked nights and her incessant knocking would wake me up in the middle of my "night." I tried explaining this to her, but she refused to listen, and kept banging on my door.

Well, one day she did this in the summer and as it happens it was a rather hot day so I was sleeping in the nude. When she started banging, I wrapped a blanket around me and answered the door. This time she had a kid with her, about 4ish I think.

Me: I've told you over and over to quit coming here. I don't want to talk to you and you keep waking me up!

Woman: *starts mindless rant about Jesus*

Me: Go away. *I start to close the door on her, and she sticks her foot in my door!*

Me: Look, lady. I'm a Satanist! *and I drop the blanket to the floor*

Woman: *cue horrified look as she drags kid off my porch and down the block*

I never saw her again.

Disclaimer: I am not nor have I ever been a Satanist. I lied through my teeth. But it sure got her to go away

[Andara Bledin]

I've never been harrassed by a JW or Mormon. I've had both come to my door, and all of those who have have always been very polite. If I said no thanks, they'd go. If I stopped to chat, they'd chat back, often not even about religion (I can derail a conversation like nobody's business). It's only ever been the fundie and born-again zealots that have harassed me.

That said, were any of them to bother me at my home, I would have no difficulty explaining to them that they were not welcome, and that they should vacate my property and not return lest the authorities be called to remove them and keep them removed. I do not suffer fools when I have another option.

^-.-^

[Nekojin]

There was a Node on Everything2 back when I was an active participant on the site, entitled, "How to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses." I joined the thread, and put in my two cents, about a friend who had effectively scared the JWs away without threatening them in any way. Lots of other people made suggestions that bordered on cruelty. Most of those suggestions are gone, nuked by moderators; mine still remains, and so does the one that suggests simply saying, "Thank you, not interested," and closing the door politely.

[MadMike]

I have to post this story, not just because it was funny, but also because I posted about it on CS when it happened. Shortly after I posted the thread, I became a moderator, and shortly after that, my thread got somewhat heated and I ended up having to close my own thread. Kind of sucked that the first thread I had to close was my own, but I digress...

I'd like to say that while I don't particularly like dealing with the relgious solicitors, I've never had one get pushy or beligerent when I politely told them I wasn't interested. Early one Saturday morning in December, not too long after my wife and I moved into our house, our doorbell rang. My wife was already up, but I was still in bed, since I'm not a morning person and like to sleep in on the weekends. I was mostly asleep, but heard the doorbell and the muffled voices that followed it.

A few minutes later, my wife came upstairs, laughing to the point where she was in tears. She told me a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door. She didn't want to be rude to them, but she didn't really want to deal with them either. So she tried to think of a polite way to get rid of them. And the first thing that happened to pop into her head was, "We're Jewish!"

While it did get rid of them, I'm not so sure they believed it, considering the 7-foot Christmas tree in the living room, as well as the Christmas lights all over the front of the house, the wreath on the front door, and the wooden reindeer in the yard. Oh well, at least they left...

[Seifer]

Apparently, simply telling a JW that you've been disassociated from the church will get them to leave immediately. JWs aren't supposed to talk to/interact with disassociated members, so it's a sure-fire way to get them to leave you alone.

[daleduke17]

Apparently, simply telling a JW that you've been disassociated from the church will get them to leave immediately. JWs aren't supposed to talk to/interact with disassociated members, so it's a sure-fire way to get them to leave you alone.

Being a Missouri Synod Lutheran will get them to almost run from the door.

I don't care if people are a different religion. Just looking at my daughter's background through both side of her family (mine and my wife's) there is: Lutheran, Methodist, Baptist, Catholic and Presbyterian. I've worked with Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, Christians, Evangelical Lutherans and Pentacostals.

The only religion I've been around that doesn't really have a "normal" setting is Apostolic Christian. Those folks are quirky (no offense to anyone here). No real examples, but they just seem "off" from reality just a bit.

[protege]

Being a Missouri Synod Lutheran will get them to almost run from the door.

So will my grandfather asking Grandma to "fetch the shotgun"

[Hyena Dandy]

I used to get a lot and said no thank you.

So I invited them in to talk, and had a very normal and pleasant conversation, and let them give me a free Bible and copy of Watchtower.

They never came back.

Which is a shame, they were adorable.

[Mr. Anubite]

Several times per semester, my university's campus is flooded with people handing out pocket New Testaments from the Gideon people. I go to a large school, and they still manage to stand on every corner, and at every bus stop. I never really know what to say to them. I just say "No, thanks," but they will often try to start a conversation about it.

I always carry a copy of the Bhagavad Gita with me, and I often think of giving it to one of them, when they try to start an argument when I say "no" to their books. At the very least, the picture on the cover would bother them

[daleduke17]

Several times per semester, my university's campus is flooded with people handing out pocket New Testaments from the Gideon people. I go to a large school, and they still manage to stand on every corner, and at every bus stop. I never really know what to say to them. I just say "No, thanks," but they will often try to start a conversation about it.

I want to know what the Gideon's budget is for Bibles. That has got to be one of the biggest budgets in religion short of the "PRAAAAAAAAAAIZZZEEEEEEEE JAY-ZUS!!!!!" budgets. I have never seen them raise funds, never have seen a Gideon church, never hear about them, but there they are in every hotel room and handing out Bibles at schools.

[crashhelmet]

I want to know what the Gideon's budget is for Bibles. That has got to be one of the biggest budgets in religion short of the "PRAAAAAAAAAAIZZZEEEEEEEE JAY-ZUS!!!!!" budgets. I have never seen them raise funds, never have seen a Gideon church, never hear about them, but there they are in every hotel room and handing out Bibles at schools.

They're funded by donations from churches and random givers. They also have a dues-based system from their members, which are professional/businessmen over the age of 21, to provide for their CEO's salary... Err... I mean Bible production.

[Mr. Anubite]

They're funded by donations from churches and random givers. They also have a dues-based system from their members, which are professional/businessmen over the age of 21, to provide for their CEO's salary... Err... I mean Bible production.

If my campus is any indicator, their members are strictly men over the age of 65.

I used to tell these people and the Jehovah's Witnesses and the ret of them that I'm Jewish (I was,) but in my experience, that has never deterred them.