Would you pledge your virginity to your father?

[Boozy]

I think sex is a huge part of marriage if the couple thinks it should be.

Otherwise, it's not.

Every couple is different.

[Saydrah]

While I understand what you meant, your comment hit a little close to home.
I'm on such a high dose of medication, that despite having only one side effect it is still a doozy.
I have almost no sex drive. I have less than 5% of my previous level. The idea that without sex I cannot maintain my 10 year long, this halloween, relationship is scary and fundamentally wrong... at least according to my life partner.
Sex is a nice part of an adult relationship, but it is not, on its own, enough to destroy a REAL stable loving partnership anymore than major weight gains, or disfiguring accidents would.

Yes-- I agree. With one caveat:

If someone medically/physically/emotionally CANNOT satisfy their partner's sexual needs and the rest of the relationship is okay, but the partner with a sex drive doesn't want to live without sex forever, they should be able to go outside the relationship for sex. I don't think it's fair to force someone to choose between sexuality and love. Of course, the exception would be if the relationship began with the understanding there would be no sex or very little sex.

In essence, if the relationship starts out including sex, and one partner ends up happy without it and with no desire to continue having it, but the other partner can't envision either life without the first partner OR life completely without sex--- well, it's like Dan Savage says: If you buy a cow and refuse to milk it, it'll be in pain. And while a cow will just moo forlornly at you, a romantic partner will probably eventually go elsewhere or leave the relationship. So, in certain situations, it makes sense for one person to be able to safely, casually, occasionally fulfill their sexual needs outside the relationship.

[Sylvia727]

Saydrah, that situation is why we use the term "cheating". If one partner has an extra-marital (or extra-relationshipal) affair, and the other approves or condones the activity, then no cheating has occurred. The nonsexual partner freely gave permission, and was cheated out of nothing. But if one partner has extra-marital sex without the other's permission, the other has been cheated out of that trust and understanding, regardless of his own sexual activity. If a person agrees to be in an exclusive relationship with a nonsexual individual, with the understanding that this relationship will be both nonsexual and exclusive, then they have no justification for cheating on the other person.

[Shangri-laschild]

While sex can be an important part, it's not like that person's level of skill in bed will always be at that point. If someone doesn't satisfy you, then teach them instead of throwing your hands up about the whole relationship. It just doesn't make sense to me to throw out a relationship because you aren't a perfect fit in bed at first.

[anriana]

While sex can be an important part, it's not like that person's level of skill in bed will always be at that point. If someone doesn't satisfy you, then teach them instead of throwing your hands up about the whole relationship. It just doesn't make sense to me to throw out a relationship because you aren't a perfect fit in bed at first.

There is a lot more to sex than skill level though. What if one person wants kinky sex and the other is completely vanilla? What if one wants sex once per day and the other wants sex once per month?

[DesignFox]

While sex can be an important part, it's not like that person's level of skill in bed will always be at that point. If someone doesn't satisfy you, then teach them instead of throwing your hands up about the whole relationship. It just doesn't make sense to me to throw out a relationship because you aren't a perfect fit in bed at first.

This is a point, as a relationship develops, and you get more in synch with your partner, the dynamics of sex change. The first time isn't always the "best." But each time you are together, it gets better. It's part of the fun of the relationship in my opinion...

There is a lot more to sex than skill level though. What if one person wants kinky sex and the other is completely vanilla? What if one wants sex once per day and the other wants sex once per month?

And yea...this is a good point, too. Everyone is different. And there are some people out there with some....interesting...fetishes... I'd hate to find out on my wedding night that my partner only gets off on something I find completely humiliating...or gross.

And when you care about someone deeply, you really do want to please them...the sex isn't just about your own pleasure.

[Flyndaran]

This is a point, as a relationship develops, and you get more in synch with your partner, the dynamics of sex change. The first time isn't always the "best." But each time you are together, it gets better. It's part of the fun of the relationship in my opinion...
....

May I be the first to respectfully call, "Bullsnot!"?
Some of the best sex I and my love muffin, ever had was at the very beginning of our 10 year relationship. Yes, I love her more now than I would have previously thought possible and in new ways every day, but sex isn't magical. It is usually two bodies doing biology's dance that can be great with strangers, I hear, and mediocre with the ones you love.

People really are different.
I plan on staying with Tonya past retirement age, and if anyone has the guts to say that our sex will, or should, be better then, than it is now or at the beginnning, I would be quite shocked.

[DesignFox]

May I be the first to respectfully call, "Bullsnot!"?
Some of the best sex I and my love muffin, ever had was at the very beginning of our 10 year relationship. Yes, I love her more now than I would have previously thought possible and in new ways every day, but sex isn't magical. It is usually two bodies doing biology's dance that can be great with strangers, I hear, and mediocre with the ones you love.

People really are different.
I plan on staying with Tonya past retirement age, and if anyone has the guts to say that our sex will, or should, be better then, than it is now or at the beginnning, I would be quite shocked.

I didn't say it is always bad in the beginning, just that, like any other aspect of a relationship, it can and does get better and grow.... geez.

[Greenday]

Honestly, I don't know about that. I think It's kinda like drinking (I can't believe I'm comparing drinking to sex). At first, it's decent. Then it gets better and better. Then it kinda hits its climax for fun and slowly starts to not be the same. I dunno, maybe it's because I haven't been with someone who has the same limits (or lack of) as I do. But in general, that's just been my experiences.

[AFPheonix]

It's really dependent on how much effort you're willing to put into it. If you let yourself get stuck in a rut, then yes, sex later in a relationship will suck balls. But if you're willing to try other stuff and really please your partner, then yes, it can be as if not more fulfilling than it was in the beginning.

[anriana]

I'm in a five year relationship and our sex is better now than it ever has been.

[Rapscallion]

Back to the topic, I've started to think it would be it would be fair for the sons of said families to pledge their chastity to their mothers. Yes, that would be equality.

Rapscallion

[katie kaboom]

Back to the topic, I've started to think it would be it would be fair for the sons of said families to pledge their chastity to their mothers. Yes, that would be equality.

Exactly. It's only fair the sons be subjected to the same thing the daughters are.

Although i still maintain that the whole thing is just a messed up idea.

[Rapscallion]

Just realised that Ryu mentioned this as a concept on the first or second page... Oops!

Rapscallion

[Antipsych]

What 80s movie came to mind as you read this thread?

Did anyone else almost immediately think of "Footloose?"