christianmingle.com

[Skunkle]

Yeah, those are notably creepy...

Mine were in, uh... about 1998, 99, when I would've been, uhm... 19, 20... I put an ad on some personals site. I'd been dating a guy who was 28, so I said specifically that I was looking in the 18-30 range. I stated clearly that responses by people over 30 would be ignored no matter what, so the would-be poster would be better off saving the time to reply and looking elsewhere. If you think that worked... well, I assumed it wouldn't, and I was right. Very right.

I got about 7 responses total. 6 of them were from guys not over 30... but over 50! And all but one of those assured me that, if I gave them a chance, I could be really happy. They all gave off chicken-hawk vibes, but one in particular, I still laugh about. One of his comments was, quote, "My only hang-up is that I like to watch hot videos. I have a large collection of hot videos." (Eww, eww, eww! It sounds like a guy trying to explain porn to a little kid! Run away, RUN AWAY!!) If I remember right, he was also the only one who didn't take "no" and kept trying "Are you sure? Because..."

The one of the 7 that wasn't creepy, we chatted amiably a bit. He was an upwardly-mobile professional 60-something, still surprisingly good-looking, and he was looking for an upwardly-mobile, professional younger guy. I was NOT the sort he was after, but he was friendly.

The one guy in my age range agreed to meet me where I worked one day. Now, I still lived at home - still do - and I don't drive. This guy was driven there by his mom. That didn't faze me. What did was that: (a) he had the basement-dweller vibe. Shy and quiet, almost in a beaten-flat way, extremely overweight for his size, dirty clothes, pizza face... and he said in a very flat-toned way that his mom was giving him only five minutes. Poor guy talked and acted as though his mom ruled with an iron fist, and when five minutes were up, he RAN out to the car and it raced away. Poor, poor guy. Seemed to be looking for a way out, and I'm sorry I wasn't that way out, but I really wasn't.

[PepperElf]

I don't see the big deal. It's about moneymaking, just like all the other sites.

What about J date? That's geared toward Jewish singles. I don't know that they advertise, though. Then again, I'm not in a heavily Jewish area.

heck there's even an amish dating site out there. although that one i find kinda funny since technically many amish disallow computer usage.

but hey, if people find happiness then who are we to fault them for finding it through a website?

[Ginger Tea]

The one guy in my age range agreed to meet me where I worked one day.

Please never do this again, not the part's I cut or owt, just not your workplace or home or anywhere you frequent, unless the staff are willing to back you up and make sure any repeat visits from mr/s unwelcome are quickly ended.

[Food Lady]

[QUOTE=smileyeagle1021;133408]

As a Christian myself, I think the "find God's match for you" line is a bit crass and manipulative, QUOTE]

That one line alone is what bothers me so much... the idea that it is to find someone that God himself has picked out for you... I'm not sure which bothers me more, that apparently we don't have free will and our soul mates are little more than arranged marriages, or that being the case that God can't find a better way to do it that having a paid website for it.

It irks me because it's a totally unbiblical idea. God does not sit up in heaven picking out spouses for people. The only biblical guidelie about it is to pick someone who shares your faith. We do have free will, to look for somone suitable, and before that, to decide if a relationship is what we want. We decide if and who to be with.

[smileyeagle1021]

The only biblical guidelie about it is to pick someone who shares your faith. We do have free will, to look for somone suitable, and before that, to decide if a relationship is what we want. We decide if and who to be with.

That is not how they advertise though. Someone earlier mentioned why I wasn't bothered by jdate's advertising, well because what you just described is exactly what jdate offers.

Though, I guess some of my irritation at christianmingle's assumption that God has made an arranged marriage for me has been tempered my my amusement by finding out that there is a new dating site being heavily advertised just for farmers and ranchers.

[Gravekeeper]

See this is where Buddhism pays off. I never get emails from Buddha Call.com or anything. ;p

Only site I use is OkCupid. 50% of what it emails me is pure unbridled crazy. 45% are females so generic I have a mental bingo card for them ( Every other female in this city literally says the same things >.> ). The remaining 5% I'd say have a 50/50 chance of either lifelong happiness or waking up in a tub without a kidney. Or both.

[HYHYBT]

Ah, OKCupid. Only site I've used, and that was a half-hearted effort. Never filled in my profile properly or put up a picture; I started on a whim, decided to finish later, and realized I'm just not up for dating strangers, at least not now. I do, though, distinctly remember putting in enough information that it ought not be trying to match me with people who are outdoorsy, hundreds of miles away, and NOT SINGLE!

[Gravekeeper]

I do, though, distinctly remember putting in enough information that it ought not be trying to match me with people who are outdoorsy, hundreds of miles away, and NOT SINGLE!

Yeah, problem is your search settings and your match settings are actually separate sets. Threw me for a loop for a bit too.

[smileyeagle1021]

I do, though, distinctly remember putting in enough information that it ought not be trying to match me with people who are outdoorsy, hundreds of miles away, and NOT SINGLE!

At least it never matched you with yourself... match.com did that to me

[Sarah Valentine]

I haven't personally been on it but I've had people tell me not to go on plenty of fish.com.

[Lachrymose]

At least it never matched you with yourself... match.com did that to me

"Man...this guy sounds AWFUL. Oh...shit. "

(Not directed at you whatsoever. It'd just be a funny scenario after being paired with yourself.)

[HYHYBT]

At least it never matched you with yourself... match.com did that to me

Well, at least you know you'll get along...

[Gravekeeper]

"Man...this guy sounds AWFUL. Oh...shit. "

(Not directed at you whatsoever. It'd just be a funny scenario after being paired with yourself.)

Well, that's a better scenario than "Well, hello sailor.....wait."

[Mytical]

I admit..years ago I tried eHarmony, Match.com, Zoosk, and okcupid. I would like to think my profile was witty and charming..but I got two whole responses (this is between the 4 of them..yeah 2 responses from 4 sites). One was a 'Check out my paid website' type offer, and the other was a guy..(Yes I selected male seeking female..no clue why a guy contacted me). So either my profile was not as witty and charming as I thought..or I am one ugly person . At the time I was making decent (though not great) money, going to college, etc..so *shrugs*.

I sent plenty of friendly 'hi' messages to the ones they picked out for me, got zero replies. Not even a 'no thanks not my type' replies.

Anyhow, I have no issue with christianmingle. Whatever floats your boat..but always, always, always be careful even if you meet somebody some way else..just be careful.

[guywithashovel]

I've seen ads for ChristianMingle, but they don't bother me. I've also heard the belief that God has someone picked out for you. I've never checked to see how biblical it is, though. Then again, I'm sure someone who really wanted to believe that could find a passage in there somewhere to justify it.

The only dating site I've seriously tried is eHarmony. I met a few people who were nice, but nothing happened other than a casual date. On EH, you can't browse through other people's profiles like you can on Match. You can only see people's profiles if the site matches you up with them. They say they use their "29 Dimensions of Compatibility" to match you up with those matches. Many people wonder what those dimensions are, but if my experience is any indication, EH seems to believe in the "opposites attract" philosophy of matchmaking. Two out of the three women I met off that site were polar opposites of me in terms of personality. And yes, I realize that I'm using a very small sample size there, but I think that's enough to at least raise an eyebrow.

As for the ones I didn't meet, many of them said things in their profiles that made them sound rather unpleasant to be around. Perhaps it's wrong to jump to conclusions based on mere statements people make, but sometimes it's hard not to do.