christianmingle.com

[smileyeagle1021]

I don't know if this is better here (since it has a lot to do with religion) or in things I hate (because I hate the commercials for that site), but for now I'm putting it here since I want to focus on the religious aspect primarily.
My specific gripe is all the testimonials, "I'd have never met my wife if it weren't for Christian Mingle". Now, let me get this straight, God is all knowing and all powerful. God has a plan for all of us. Yet God can't figure out a way for two people to meet each other without a crass, overcommercialized, paid dating site? I'm sorry, but how weak is your faith that you believe God expects you to spend money with a website run by someone you really don't know to find your soul mate rather than having some plan to make sure your paths cross in your daily life?
I know I'm being somewhat hypocritical, I met my husband on a dating site, but I also didn't go onto it specifically for the intention of following God's plan, I just figured it was free (ad based) and why not, what did I have to lose.

[HYHYBT]

It's a bit like the joke where the guy prays week after week for God to have him win the lottery. Finally, God speaks up: "why don't you meet me partway on this and buy a ticket?"

Praying I get a job, likewise, doesn't do a lot of good if I don't also fill out applications.

I'm annoyed at that site for a different reason, though I understand their reasons: they promise, in their ads, to find God's match for *me.* But if such a match exists, he will by necessity be male, and they only accept "man seeking a woman" and "woman seeking a man." At least on the main site it's right there first thing; on the mobile app, you wouldn't find that out until AFTER signing up.

[TheHuckster]

The idea is, besides church, where would a Christian find other Christians? Sure, you can try the bar, the supermarket, or tons of other places, but if you want to meet someone who shares the same spirituality as you, and your local church is dry, then what's the big deal with having a website help you out?

[Jaden]

Yeah, I don't really see the problem. I mean, I would never use a site like that - not because it's a dating site, but because it's a Christian dating site and I don't have time to deal with all that repressed sexuality - but for people who want to find somebody who holds the same beliefs as them, what's the problem? As a Christian myself, I think the "find God's match for you" line is a bit crass and manipulative, but not really any moreso than other advertising slogans. It's just for people of similar beliefs to find each other. What's the big deal?

[Panacea]

A friend from my church was talking about signing up on this site. She had the absurd idea that the only people she'd find there shared her Christian values.

I pointed out to her that on other dating sites, there are some people who zero in on the Bible thumpers as a way to gain trust, and try and get in your pants (and I do speak from personal experience from when I tried eHarmony).

I'm sure you can meet the kind of person you are looking for on such a site. But the bottom line is, a place like Christianmingle is just as open to scumbags as anyone else. You still have to exercise good judgement and common sense as you would anywhere else one went to meet people.

As for the advertisment . . . look, it's marketing. The site was designed and is promoted to attract users and make money for its owners. Nothing nefarious or holy about it.

[Peppergirl]

I don't see the big deal. It's about moneymaking, just like all the other sites.

What about J date? That's geared toward Jewish singles. I don't know that they advertise, though. Then again, I'm not in a heavily Jewish area.

[smileyeagle1021]

[QUOTE=Jaden;133366] As a Christian myself, I think the "find God's match for you" line is a bit crass and manipulative, QUOTE]

That one line alone is what bothers me so much... the idea that it is to find someone that God himself has picked out for you... I'm not sure which bothers me more, that apparently we don't have free will and our soul mates are little more than arranged marriages, or that being the case that God can't find a better way to do it that having a paid website for it.

[siead_lietrathua]

What about J date? That's geared toward Jewish singles. I don't know that they advertise, though. Then again, I'm not in a heavily Jewish area.

i get email spam from them all the time. and christian mingle. plus every toher damn dating site on the net. it's become a running gag with my friends since i'm the only one that gets anything like that.

the soul mate thing irks me too, since it implies that there is only ONE match for you out there and you need US to find them, cuz you suuuuck. disregarding the entire concept of multiple soul mates as well as a mini-smack in the face of their own deity for his "failings" with providing an accessible mate that doesn't come with membership fees.

[wolfie]

It's a bit like the joke where the guy prays week after week for God to have him win the lottery. Finally, God speaks up: "why don't you meet me partway on this and buy a ticket?"

Or the one about the guy caught in a flood. He's standing on the porch, a boat comes buy to rescue him, but he says "God will get me out of this". Water rises, he's on the roof, and another boat comes by. Again, he says "God will get me out of this". Water rises higher, he's standing on top of the chimney but still ankle-deep, and a chopper shows up. Same story. Water rises higher, and he drowns. At the Pearly Gates, he tears St. Peter a new one for not saving one of the faithful. St. Peter's response? "We sent 2 boats and a helicopter - now Go To Hell!".

[BlaqueKatt]

A friend from my church was talking about signing up on this site. She had the absurd idea that the only people she'd find there shared her Christian values.

A second rape charge has been filed against a 37-year-old Del Mar man already accused of raping a woman he met on the ChristianMingle.com dating website.

yup, only good people there.

[telecom_goddess]

A second rape charge has been filed against a 37-year-old Del Mar man already accused of raping a woman he met on the ChristianMingle.com dating website.

yup, only good people there.

wow.....yeah gotta be careful wherever you go!

[Ginger Tea]

It's not as if you need your priest to fill out a reference for you before you can sign up.
So no, I'm not shocked that something like this happened to this website or any other.

Whilst what happened should not be shrugged off, do people develop a false sence of security because it is run by or presumed to be run by a christian organisation?

[Panacea]

Whilst what happened should not be shrugged off, do people develop a false sence of security because it is run by or presumed to be run by a christian organisation?

In a word, yes.

[Skunkle]

That'd be my fear: that it'd lull the sorts of Christians who're naieve into assuming everybody on there was trustworthy.

I'm Christian, but my prospective partner's religion isn't my number one criteria. Besides, I tried dating sites once years ago. The results weren't pretty, they were pretty funny though.

[Sarah Valentine]

I have only 2 dating site stories 1 from the asshole and 1 from me.

The asshole joined a dating site (I forgot which one he said it was) and said he was a good looking rich doctor, he said that when he goes out with the women he can make them feel guilty for being shallow then show them what a date with a normal guy was like. It didn't last long though seeing as he got reported and banned from the site.

I used a free trial for a dating site (I think it was eHarmony) I got a couple of responses that were for normal coffe dates, then here was this one creep who thought it was a different type of dating site. I told him I wasn't looking for that but he kept telling me what he wanted to do, I deleted my account before the free trial was up I wasn't gonna deal with that shit. Plus I also thought it was stupid to pay for a dating site.