posting this as requested

[KellyHabersham]

*as requested by someone over on CS, I'm posting more details about this situation. I don't want to make this too long, so I'm just focusing on the incident that lead to his family going to another church*

Background info - "Jerry" has physical and mental disabilities, not sure of the exact details, other than I'd initially thought he was born like that, and later heard he'd had a severe head injury when he was younger. Whatever the case, sometimes he could hold a normal, reasonably intelligent conversation, other times......you could tell something was off.

"Jerry" was a very touchy-feely type, and during the "Greet Your Friends & Neighbors" part of the worship service, he seemed to go for the younger women in the congregation. Apparently he would accidentally brush his non-paralyzed arm across their stomach, and while I never personally experienced this, I always felt uncomfortable around "Jerry", like he might try to grope me.

What triggered his family leaving the church - apparently it was during choir practice before service one Sunday, one of the women had her sons with her, and they were playing around with a Santa toy. "Jerry" was joking around with them, pretending he was going to take the toy, and apparently touched the younger boy where he shouldn't have.

The boy's family complained to our then-pastor (Pastor Jane), and she had to talk to "Jerry's" family, mentioning that he needed to be more closely supervised (I think maybe women in the congregation had complained about him getting too touchy-feely as well). Jerry's family got VERY huffy/bent out of shape about this, claiming he would "never do something like that, he's like a little kid!", and they were no longer involved with the church after that.

One of Jerry's aunts was an aide at the same school my mom taught at, and Mom often mentioned comments this women made about Pastor Jane being "mean", and I got the impression Jerry's family had never considered that being disabled, this did NOT mean he wouldn't have sexual thoughts and feelings, and they never taught him how to properly express that.

[s_stabeler]

while the issue is probably somewhat overblown- I doubt Jerry actually meant it in a sexual manner- I agree that it sounds like the family are a little overprotective. Pastor Jane is right, though- Jerry does need closer supervision, since even if it isn't meant in a sexual manner, it's still unacceptable. ( to use a parallel, if he didn't know you are supposed to use a toilet, and took a dump in the middle of the floor, it's the responsibility of whoever is looking after him to teach him not to.)

Basically, he might be mentally a child, but that means he needs supervision like a child would.

[Dreamstalker]

I've heard the argument that if someone is mentally a child, that means that they are free from responsibility for their actions.

Um, no.

[s_stabeler]

actually, to an extent, they are, in the sense that someone mentally a child shouldn't really be held to the standard of behaviour expected of an adult. It's just that someone truly mentally a child needs to be looked after like a child would- and said person can impose punishments on said individual as you would a child. ( basically, someone mentally a child is subject to a child's responsibility for their actions)

[Judecat]

I know one specific adult male who while he has the mind of a child (he was born that way), also has the body, hormones, and "needs" of an adult. I'm friends with his younger sister, and when he was in his early 20's he needed lots of supervision around adult and teen aged females. Over the years his family has taught him some of the rules of behavior, and also family friends have also learned to keep an eye on him in public if his immediate family is not present.
The family mentioned in the OP sound like they need to be talked to -- just because he has the mind of a child does not mean that he is a child. Either supervise him, or teach him, but don't deny that it's an issue.