Men and Rape

[The Shadow]

Someone brought this to my attention a few days ago. I read it and have to say I found it a bit unsettling:

http://www.dianarussell.com/menrape.html

[MystyGlyttyr]

If I knew for a fact I could murder someone and get away with it, I probably would. No reason to deny it. That doesn't make me a murderer. That just makes me human. Everyone has something a little dark and twisted they'd do if they could "get away with it". No big surprises here.

At any rate, if this is the same Diana Russell I've heard so much about, I wouldn't take this with a grain of salt, I'd take it with the whole damn salt mine.

Edit to add: Besides, have the people doing this study ever read all the rapefic I have? Girls think about this stuff too, obviously.

[Boozy]

The biggest difference between murderers and non-murderers is that the latter group purposefully stay out of situations that might cause a normal human being to fly into a rage and kill another person. We're all capable of murder, but most of us don't get hopped up on PCP, or pick fights in a bar, or carry a loaded gun into situations where we're likely to become very angry.... etc, etc. Murderers (excluding serial killing psychopaths) are mostly stupid and have poor impulse control. They aren't inherently evil, or inherently different than the rest of us.

As far as the rape issue goes, the statistics aren't terribly surprising given the way they set up the evaluation. It's easy to imagine doing a lot of things. But I'm willing to bet that most of the men who could imagine raping a woman would get two minutes into it and lose any interest in proceeding. A woman's terror is not a turn-on for most men. Feigned terror might make for fun role-play for some, but the real thing would be a whole other ball of wax.

[Cats]

I find that a bit unsettling myself, really. Yes everyone has a little dark side in then (I've known to want to take a smaking to some people), but I think there's a line to being a little evil but still human and well, sadistic, for lack of a better word at the moment.

If I could rape or murder someone and get away with it, I still wouldn't do it, nor would I want to. Where's the remorse? The guilt factor? Why kind of 'right' do I have to do those things, even if I suffer no legal consequences as a result? That alone would stop me from even considering doing them.

Now, kicking the crap out of someone (who would recover) and getting away with it? Sure, I'd do that. But rape or even murder? That's quite a differences and have serious consequences for the victim. Think of yourself in that position...if someone could murder or rape YOU and get away with it, how would that make you (or your friends & family) feel?

[BlaqueKatt]

Think of yourself in that position...if someone could murder or rape YOU and get away with it, how would that make you (or your friends & family) feel?

Sadly with what I've seen in my fellow humans-I don't think many are even capable of empathy anymore......

I'm trying to get a hold of the book "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement." by Jean Twenge right now.

[Nyoibo]

I've had fantasies about things like rape, murder, assault and other such 'dark' impulses, I also know that I could if I wanted to do any of them, and I'm pretty sure I could get away with it too, but that's all they are, fantasies, they don't leave my head.

Fantasising about something and actually doing it are 2 very different things, I also call bullshit on people saying they'd do it if they could get away with it, you don't know what you would do until you're in that situation.

[powerboy]

If I could rape someone and get away with it, I still would not do it. I would only kill someone if they were trying to hurt me or a loved one. Otherwise, I would not just go around shooting people.

[Slytovhand]

Firstly, and specifically in reference to the link, what a crock... I love how 'statistics' are found to back things up!! "Research indicates...", "In another study, 356 males...", "In a study of high school males..." - especially with the end sentence of "Nevertheless, it is helpful to have this kind of baseline information on the desire and predispositions of males, who are, after all, the chief consumers of pornography."

On to the (I hope) actual topic... action and consequence. Would most people commit some sort of heinous act if they thought (and really really thought) that they could get away with it... damn right! But... which acts? Probably those in which the victim would be a person 'who deserved it' - hence the beating the crap out of someone's above. How about going vigilante on certain criminal elements in society?? I'm all for it! (but I've sort of suggested that in other threads).

So... what about holodecks? What should they cater to when they're invented?? After all, that's going to be when the line between total fantasy and 'reality' get seriously blurred!

[joe hx]

i would not and could not rape for the simple fact that it would not be enjoyable.

[Flyndaran]

From the title I thought it was about men that were raped.
I think the real stumbling block is about not getting caught. There is no way to be absoutely sure of that unless you were the last two people on earth.
To me it's asking a hypothetical involving impossibilities therefore completely useless as a guide to anything.

[fireheart17]

i would not and could not rape for the simple fact that it would not be enjoyable.

I might bite with that one.

Rape isn't always about pleasure. Sometimes it is, but people (not just men) rape for usually three reasons...

1) Power and control. Usually over their "victim".
2) Anger. (abusive relationships or other reasons)
3) Sadism (wanting to watch their victim suffer)

They might get their pleasure off from these situations. It's not simply for the purposes of sex. Sex is their means of control. A lot of rapes also occur in the person's house and are with someone they know. There's also no one set profile of a rapist either. The really nice young teller at your local bank could've secretly raped another person...

[The Shadow]

This appeared in one of my local papers about a week ago

All Men Are Potential Rapists

All men are potential rapists. Agree or disagree?

That's a claim by Aurea Flynn, speaking for Vancouver Rape Relief and Women's Shelter, in the wake of a brutal sex attack this weekend on a 24-year-old woman in Vancouver's upscale West Point Grey.

I spent about 20 minutes Monday talking to Flynn about rape, and agreed with nearly everything she said.

Rape is about power and control, domination by a man over a woman — check.

Sexual assault is so widespread that one in four Canadian women will experience it — check.

Men need to speak out against violence against women, because our gender is to blame — check.

But I am not a potential rapist, and I don't think Flynn's claim is in any way helpful.

Painting all men with the same brush greatly hampers the co-operation between genders that's needed to properly address our epidemic of sexual violence.

[BroomJockey]

All Men Are Potential Rapists

That very headline does more to harm rape victims than any number of idiots claiming "she was asking for it."

Seriously. If men need to be afraid that a woman's ready to "defend" herself, or cry rape at the drop of a hat because ALL men are potential rapists, they're going to stop doing things that put them alone with women, just as many guys refuse to do things that have them around children for fear of being accused of child molesting. If that starts to happen, not only is society going to have major issues, but any woman who IS alone with a guy IS going to have to start to worry. "Why isn't this guy afraid I'll cry rape?" It engenders a culture of fear and potential abuses, rather than rooting out causes and genuinely empowering people to combat the issue.

[Nyoibo]

I hate it when people make statements like that, of course all men are potential rapists, as are all women, as all people are potential murderers, statements like that however just perpetuate ignorance, anger and paranoia.

[Flyndaran]

I hate it when people make statements like that, of course all men are potential rapists, as are all women, as all people are potential murderers, statements like that however just perpetuate ignorance, anger and paranoia.

I am most assuredly NOT a potential rapist. Saying that I am, is very insulting.
I would rather die painfully than commit rape.