Another kid dead - this time in Michigan.

[IDrinkaRum]

Nevaeh believed to either be buried alive or had face pressed against dirt by someone else

I have no words for this.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

See, here's the thing about "we don't know what he did." It doesn't matter we don't know. The fact of the matter is that the guy was convicted of SOMETHING that got him on the offender list. And yet, this woman allowed this to happen.

Listen, I know the list is probably just about worse than useless. I know the trivial things that can land someone on it. However, as the parent of a little girl, you don't take a chance like that.

God forbid if something happened to my husband, I would not remarry. Because so many perverts out there prey on women with children. So many children are victimized by the mom's "boyfriend." It's just not worth the risk.

You know what? Not a single one of my male friends are ever alone with my girl. None of them are sex offenders of any sort, convicted or otherwise. I trust them all completely. However, it's just not something I want to risk.

And I'm not just protecting her, either. I'm protected my guy friends as well. Nobody will ever have to wonder about any of them. Once that suspicion gets on you, it never comes off. I'm not putting any of them in that position.

[Flyndaran]

...
God forbid if something happened to my husband, I would not remarry. Because so many perverts out there prey on women with children. So many children are victimized by the mom's "boyfriend." It's just not worth the risk.

You know what? Not a single one of my male friends are ever alone with my girl. None of them are sex offenders of any sort, convicted or otherwise. I trust them all completely. However, it's just not something I want to risk.

And I'm not just protecting her, either. I'm protected my guy friends as well. Nobody will ever have to wonder about any of them. Once that suspicion gets on you, it never comes off. I'm not putting any of them in that position.

So you're saying that you are unappologetically sexist? But it's ok as long as it's, "For the childrens."?
Rapists are not everywhere. Paranoia is causing far too much suffering in addition to the real sexual abuse that happens sometimes.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yes. I am unappologetically sexist. I absolutely am, always have been, and don't intend to change. And I am 100 percent okay with that.

[Flyndaran]

Yes. I am unappologetically sexist. I absolutely am, always have been, and don't intend to change. And I am 100 percent okay with that.

I believe that sexism is bigoted. I don't think my belief is a minority in industrialized countries. I'm sorry that you seem to disagree and see it as acceptable.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Disagree with what?

[blas87]

I don't see it as an issue at all. Kinkoid admits it. It takes a big person to admit "I'm sexist" or "I stereotype" than someone who goes around saying "Oh, I don't judge people, but guys who have mullets are usually child molestors!" or stuff like that.

She admits it and isn't afraid to admit it or fight her opinion. Big deal being? Right. Nothing.

[the_std]

She admits it and isn't afraid to admit it or fight her opinion. Big deal being? Right. Nothing.

Uh, the big deal being that she's judging half of the planet based on their reproductive organs rather than on who they are as people. This shit would definitely not fly if some guy said, "Yeah, women are all vacuous objects for the pleasure of men. Yes, I'm sexist," no one would say, "Well, at least he admits he's sexist," they would just lynch him.

I'm not saying I disagree with the whole "better safe than sorry" mentality Kinkoid has going on for her child, but saying that, since she admits she's sexist that it's no big deal, that's a bunch of baloney.

[Greenday]

I agree it's one thing to say I don't trust anyone with my kid. Fine, I have no problem with that. You're right, better safe than sorry.

But not trusting men because they are men is void of any logic.

[DesignFox]

I would have a problem with Kinkoid's attitude, except that she admits that she does this to protect her friends as much as her child.

She doesn't want to leave her daughter alone with them not so much because she automatically assumes that because they are male they will hurt her daughter, but because she doesn't want them to be put in a position where accusations could get made.

It's not even that her daughter would purposely incriminate them or anything like that. How often have parents been embarrassed out in public because their young child says something unintentionally inappropriate? What if she were to start crying and screaming and draw someone's attention? People are a lot freakin' nosier than they used to be...whose to say a total stranger wouldn't misinterpret something occurring and label the guy a kidnapper or pervert? Even if the situation was 100% innocent, that guy would get labelled for life.

It is horribly unfortunate to have to protect your kids and friends that way. But that is her choice. I don't really blame her.

Now, if she said, "I don't trust my friends with my kid just because they're guys...and you know how guys are!" I would call her on it.

I for one, think society is in a sad state of paranoia. Let's face it, a lot of people look at guys funny when they are alone with a kid, especially if it isn't theirs. Who wants to end up on the offender's registry because a child started crying and said, "stop touching me!", some nosy-body over heard it and reported it, even though the real situation was that it was a father trying to get his kid in the car to go home from the amusement park. If someone calls, the police have to investigate, and let's face it, some people call when there is absolutely no reason to do so.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Thank you, DesignFox. That is exactly right.

I trust my friends. That is why they are my friends. What I don't trust is the idea that someone might take something wrong and accuse them of stuff nobody can prove never happened.

Once someone looks at you like that, like you might be a pervert, you never get the stink off you. Ever.

As for the whole thing where I'd rather not marry if I suddenly found myself a single mom...it happens all the time that perverts go after women with kids. Or, they go after a woman because they want her for whatever reason and barely tolerate her kids. Not situations I want for myself.

Do I think every man is a child molester? Of course I don't. And maybe the odds are not all that high that I might encounter one in my hypothetical situation. But they are higher than I like.

Listen, I was a girl child at one time and I have a long damn memory. No I was never molested. I do, however, have secrets I can't tell, on people my parents knew. And I had friends that had secrets as well. So if I am unwilling to pretend that I don't know the stuff I do know for the sake of being PC, well, I can live with that and sleep sound at night.

[Nyoibo]

I think it was on FML that there was a post that a father tickled his daughter in a shopping centre or something, she yelled "don't touch me there" and so he got dirty looks from all around him.

[Flyndaran]

...
She admits it and isn't afraid to admit it or fight her opinion. Big deal being? Right. Nothing.

Big deal being that our culture accepts sexism against men, but not women. That's offensive, and I admit that I don't like it!

[Slytovhand]

I trust them all completely. However, it's just not something I want to risk.

No, obviously you don't trust them completely. By the sounds of things, not a hell of a lot at all. Now, if you're going to be 100% ok with things, that should probably be a good start... acknowledging that you don't trust your male friends.

I hope this is a completely moot point as well, but

Because so many perverts out there prey on women with children. So many children are victimized by the mom's "boyfriend." It's just not worth the risk.

is really sad! And a bit horrorfying. You've just labelled every single male out there as a probable paedophile! IIRC, you rail against discrimination based on gender, on race, on colour and on religion... but you're quite happy to label about 50% of the world's population... reeks a little of hypocrisy there.

I'm all for protecting the ones you love, but I certainly don't go around thinking every Muslim I see is a fanatical terrorist about to blow us all up!

If you don't want to trust a complete stranger, great.. makes perfect sense. But if you won't even trust the people closest to you after you've gotten to know them... ??

[Flyndaran]

...
I hope this is a completely moot point as well, but is really sad! And a bit horrorfying. You've just labelled every single male out there as a probable paedophile! IIRC, you rail against discrimination based on gender, on race, on colour and on religion... but you're quite happy to label about 50% of the world's population... reeks a little of hypocrisy there.
...

As a probable child rapist, not just someone that thinks about it like a pedophile would.
Most pedophiles aren't rapists, just like how most child rapists aren't pedophiles. Pedantic, but still true.
Prejudice, as in prejudging someone based on an unchangeable trait rather than previous action, is wrong, no matter how they rationalize it.