Another kid dead - this time in Michigan.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Uh, look. When you consider that something like 80 percent of rapes and molestations are perpetrated by family members or people you know, and I have witnessed same several times in my own life to back that up, pretending that I don't know that is stupid.

It's also bordering on mental illness to pretend I don't know that it's like, what, less than 10 percent of sex offenders are female for the sake of not offending anyone. It's not an opinion. It's a statistic. I'm not going to pretend that it's not, or that I don't believe it, or that I don't know it.

Here's a question for you ladies: If you're walking around at night or in a parking lot and guys get behind you, do you get a little nervous? What if they are girls, still get as nervous? Be honest.

Personally, I've never been grabbed, threatened sexually, groped, catcalled, had to fight off to avoid rape, been the victim of grossly inappropriate suggestions(both as a child and as an adult) by women. I've had all these things happen, just that every mother's son of them was someone of the male gender. I'm just sayin'.

So guess what, baby. The world is sexist. If you honestly think it's not, well, I'm curious as to what rock you are living under.

A close friend of mine, DID actually go to jail for a sex related crime. Yeah, everyone was pretty shocked, least of all his wife. Case of the defendant's word against his. Not provable. Nearly 20 years gone with that, and his life is STILL fucked up because of that.

So say, God forbid, someone messes with my kid, guess who they are gonna look at when they start looking for suspects? Hint: It won't be all the creepy strangers out there. What you all are totally ignoring here is that a large part of my motive is to not put my friends in a dangerous position.

I'll present it another way for you: a male friend of mine will not allow himself to be alone with a woman or girl that is not his wife. He brings his wife or someone along if he must, but he won't even be alone with me. I don't know if he got burned or not, it doesn't matter to me. Is he sexist? Doesn't matter to me if he is, he's reacting to something that made him wary. If he's never alone with a female other than his wife, then he will never find himself in the unenviable position that my other friend ended up in. Is he over reacting? I dunno. He clearly doesn't think he is, and that's fine. Whatever made him that wary is his business. I'm not going to have a knee jerk reaction to his quirk, he's a friend and that's all I really need to know.

So, anyways, I realize a lot of you are having way to much fun completely missing my point, and that's fine. I understand my motives, and that's really all that matters. So, think whatever you like about it. All I know is that my kid and my friends are as safe as I can make them. I'm willing to take one for the team in that regard.

[kibbles]

Here's a question for you ladies: If you're walking around at night or in a parking lot and guys get behind you, do you get a little nervous? What if they are girls, still get as nervous? Be honest.

A close friend of mine, DID actually go to jail for a sex related crime. Yeah, everyone was pretty shocked, least of all his wife. Case of the defendant's word against his. Not provable. Nearly 20 years gone with that, and his life is STILL fucked up because of that.

Honestly, yes I would be nervous no matter who it was behind me if I was alone in the dark and someone was walking behind me (whether it be male or female, I'd still be wary).

As for your close friend, it sounds like he shouldn't have went to jail at all since you said it wasn't provable and it was just one word against the other (if it's not proven beyond a reasonable doubt, someone snottin' and balling on the witness stand shouldn't be enough to send someone to jail).

Now I'm not saying there aren't any psychotic men out there; but, IMO there are just as many psychotic women.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, see, all I know is what his wife told me, and also a mutual friend who is their child's godmother. The charge was stalking and voyuerism (I don't know if I spelled that right). He was working pizza delivery at the time. The circumstances could, I guess, have been taken either way, but they looked bad.

Sadly, I could go either way with my thinking on that. I am extremely fond of the guy...but due to some details I know (it's a freaking complicated mess), I would be lying if I said I would not be suprised to know that he was in fact guilty. I mean, I hate it. But just because the guy is someone I care about does not make him automatically innocent.

Which further reinforces my feelings on the matter, sadly.

But anyways, he didn't get the book thrown at him, but he did have to do some weekend jail time when it was all said and done, some community service, house arrest, etc. Plus, now he's a convicted sex offender. Which, no matter of what he actually did, gets him the same stigma as a full on child rapist.

Talk about having your whole family's lives fubar'd.

[kibbles]

That is a sad situation. I forget the story I heard; but, a judge was overseeing a rape case and he said "you might be innocent; but, you probably did it as well..but since it can't be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, then I have to find you innocent"

Now, I know this may be an unpopular opinion; but, I think that judge has it right. Just because someone can cry on cue, etc. it shouldn't sway judge or jury. If it can't be absolutely proven, it should get thrown out.

Thanks for the reply I've just started replying a lot of this board and I am finding it really interesting

[Flyndaran]

...
So, anyways, I realize a lot of you are having way to much fun completely missing my point, and that's fine. I understand my motives, and that's really all that matters. So, think whatever you like about it. All I know is that my kid and my friends are as safe as I can make them. I'm willing to take one for the team in that regard.

I'm not missing your point at all.
Most innercity crime is committed by black people, so I should be perfectly ok in never letting my family associate with them there, right? Right? It's not my fault the world is racist.
I've known too many violent females to let sexism against men go unchallenged.
Or maybe we should judge people as individuals instead of as members of a particular demographic. I, for one, try to never judge someone for existing, especially so when many legitimate reasons exist, not talking about you either so calm that repost.
Though to be honest, since I won't associate with sexist men, I probably won't associate with sexist women either. That also is just a fact.

[BroomJockey]

I, for one, try to never judge someone for existing, especially so when many legitimate reasons exist.

I vaguely recall a quote once, can't remember it exactly, but it was something like "Why waste time hating someone for what they look like when most people provide you with so many other legitimate reasons to hate them?" Not directly analogous, but I chuckled.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Or maybe we should judge people as individuals instead of as members of a particular demographic. I, for one, try to never judge someone for existing, especially so when many legitimate reasons exist, not talking about you either so calm that repost.
Though to be honest, since I won't associate with sexist men, I probably won't associate with sexist women either. That also is just a fact.

Wait, aren't sexists a demographic?


Question: Do any of your female friends carry pepper spray?

[Flyndaran]

Wait, aren't sexists a demographic?


Question: Do any of your female friends carry pepper spray?

One should, just because she wears what I call a giant V for victim that has nothing to do with her sex.
The others, don't because they could take you in a fight using just their teeth. I'm just saying don't mess with my mom or girlfriend as they will mess you up!
Seriously, if you worry about being accosted by a criminal, they are just as likely to use weapons making them the equal to any macho male they could encounter. The world is dangerous to everyone not just girls.

[AdminAssistant]

RK, I get what you're saying and I understand. Not that I necessarily agree, but I understand. Because I lived in a big city with a high crime rate, and if I was walking somewhere, at night or otherwise, and saw a guy (or group of guys) walking towards me who were all thugged out, you bet I'm going to out of my way to avoid them. Racist? Sexist? Whatevs, man, I'm still alive. There were drive-by shootings in the middle of town in daylight. Multiple armed robberies on campus. The two main 'tourist' areas in town were thief central, and you couldn't leave anything out in the open in your car, ever. Call me paranoid, but I kept myself safe and never got robbed. The vast majority of my friends were not so lucky.

The town I live in now is relatively safe, but there are a lot of sexual assaults (college town, young girls, alcohol...yeah), so I still keep my wits about me walking about at night. Not gonna be a victim.