Definition of Sexual Assault waaaaay too big

[kibbles]

After reading a post on another message board, I had to post this as it wouldn't have been appropriate elsewhere. I think that definition of sexual assault has gotten way too big lately. I now that it cannot be defined two narrowly and that there is many kinds of sexual assault; but, at times I get the feeling that people jump on the silliest thing and say OMG eleventy..that's sexual assault.

The post I read, the first thing I thought was, that is not sexual assault in the slightest and to press charges it will end up as the reason real victims have so much hassle getting people to believe them and be taken seriously. What does everyone think about the overall definition of sexual assault...too big...to narrow..about right?? I'd like to hear everyone's opinions.

[Greenday]

Could I get an example of a ridiculous assertion of sexual assault when it's definitely not?

[kibbles]

For example, someone claims it's sexual assault when someone they slept with lied to get them into bed (i.e. someone claimed to be rich when not, etc). False accusations like this does nothing but hurt the system (and others encouraging people to go foward with these baseless accusations does nothing to help). That's one example I can think of.

[Greenday]

Well, in that example, I agree, that'd be an asburd claim of sexual assault since there was no assault taking place.

[kibbles]

ITA, I know that the definition should be broad because there are several kinds; but, lately it seems as if it's insanely wide definition.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Saying a pat on the butt is sexual assault; seems a bit like overreacting. Yes, it's overfamiliar and irritating, but screaming "Oh my gurrd, sexual assault!" seems a bit insulting to someone who's suffered an actual assault, for example, someone who's been raped.

Also add on anyone who uses the term "rape" for something completely pointless, like saying that a business "raped their wallet". -.-

[Rapscallion]

Well, in that example, I agree, that'd be an asburd claim of sexual assault since there was no assault taking place.

I'd say it's more like fraud, since the person attracted to the person who allegedly has money was only attracted because of the money they thought to be involved.

I'm thinking now of the time Winston Churchill was at a dinner party and asked a young lady at the table if she'd sleep with him for a million pounds.

"Certainly," she said, leaning towards him.

"Would you sleep with me for one pound?"

"Of course not! What sort of woman do you think I am?"

"We've already established that. We're now haggling over the price," he responded.

Rapscallion

[kibbles]

"We've already established that. We're now haggling over the price," he responded.

Rapscallion

LOL!!!!! Good one! I also agree about overuse of the word "rape" when it shouldn't be used. It downplays its meaning by saying stuff like a business "raped their wallet"

[fireheart17]

For example, someone claims it's sexual assault when someone they slept with lied to get them into bed (i.e. someone claimed to be rich when not, etc). False accusations like this does nothing but hurt the system (and others encouraging people to go foward with these baseless accusations does nothing to help). That's one example I can think of.

That again, I'd agree with.

Although I'm a little curious...what about trickery i.e. the person feels that they owe them something in return for getting a lift somewhere or helping them through a difficult time...what are your thoughts on that?

[Greenday]

Although I'm a little curious...what about trickery i.e. the person feels that they owe them something in return for getting a lift somewhere or helping them through a difficult time...what are your thoughts on that?

There's a difference between making yourself more appealing and coercing someone to have sex. If you lie about being rich and they have sex with you because of that, that's there fault. If you put yourself into a position where you make the other feel like they don't have a choice, that's forcing them.

[anriana]

Saying a pat on the butt is sexual assault; seems a bit like overreacting. Yes, it's overfamiliar and irritating, but screaming "Oh my gurrd, sexual assault!" seems a bit insulting to someone who's suffered an actual assault, for example, someone who's been raped.

What is the exact level of required trauma before it's okay for the victim to call something sexual assault? Is a pat on the breast assault? What about an assgrab? Is it sexual assault if it's a boss patting an employee and not if it's between coworkers? What about a pat on the front of the crotch?


Sexual asault is not a synonym for rape; it is an umbrella term used to refer to unwanted sexual contact. It includes rape but also includes less severe offenses. I'm not sure why you feel someone who was raped would be offended by the correct use of the term. If we're not going to use the correct terms, what term do you recommend people who dare to complain about being touched in sexual areas without their consent use?


As a kinkster I would certainly consider a deliberate tap on the ass as sexual assault. It is more than "overfamiliar," it is highly sexual contact and if it is unwanted then it is sexual asault.

[Greenday]

Clear example of when a pat on the ass is sexual in NO way: Running off the field after making a great play, coach high fives you and pats you on the butt. Definitely not a 100% sexual action.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sometimes my male mates do it jokingly to me; I do so in return. True, if it's given out to a stranger, that stranger has a right to object. However, dragging a guy thru the courts just cuz he patted you on the butt is stupid to my mind, especially if that's all he did and there was no intent other than messing around.

Don't throw in obvious strawmen like "What about patting on the breast/crotch" when those are clearly sexual areas; a butt isn't, necessarily, a sexual area. Let's give another example; a pat on the cheek. Or stroking a shoulder/back. Yes, if you don't want someone doing that, you do have every right to swat their hands off you or complain. But I really think that having someone charged with sexual assault simply for unwanted touching in a non sexual area is overreacting in the extreme.

Let's put it another way. There's a big difference between pricking your finger and having your arm cut off. Just like being patted on the butt and being anally raped.

[Slytovhand]

Jumping up and down on a player you've just killed in an MMORPG is not rape! And that's one use of it that's way out of line!

[anriana]

Don't throw in obvious strawmen

Strawmen != any argument you don't like.

like "What about patting on the breast/crotch" when those are clearly sexual areas; a butt isn't, necessarily, a sexual area. Let's give another example; a pat on the cheek. Or stroking a shoulder/back. Yes, if you don't want someone doing that, you do have every right to swat their hands off you or complain.

Those are actual examples of areas that aren't sexual.

But I really think that having someone charged with sexual assault simply for unwanted touching in a non sexual area is overreacting in the extreme.

So do you also have a problem with the police/rest of the court system that follows through on it?

Let's put it another way. There's a big difference between pricking your finger and having your arm cut off. Just like being patted on the butt and being anally raped.

Since you ignored my question of where the line for sexual assault is, I'll ask again. Is the only valid form of sexual assault penetration? Is calling anything else sexual assault stupid?