Definition of Sexual Assault waaaaay too big

[Greenday]

Since you ignored my question of where the line for sexual assault is, I'll ask again. Is the only valid form of sexual assault penetration? Is calling anything else sexual assault stupid?

To be sexual assault, it must be an assault and it must be sexual. If it's someone passing you on the street and you don't know them, and they slap your ass, I'd be fine with calling that sexual assault. But if it's a person you are friendly with, and they are being friendly, it is not assault, thus it shouldn't be called sexual assault.

[Slytovhand]

To be sexual assault, it must be an assault and it must be sexual. If it's someone passing you on the street and you don't know them, and they slap your ass, I'd be fine with calling that sexual assault. But if it's a person you are friendly with, and they are being friendly, it is not assault, thus it shouldn't be called sexual assault.

Just for the point of argument, most rapes and sexual assaults are done by people known to the victim.

I would presume that the assailant isn't deliberately thinking "I'll sexually assault/rape them", but rather "I'm just having some fun".

[AFPheonix]

I've seen a predator in action, he was after my roommate. He didn't just randomly pat her ass on the way by, he got her to drop her defenses by becoming her friend first, and THEN attempting to force unwanted contact on her.

It's assault if you didn't want to be touched, it's sexual assault if it was a touch in a sexual zone. Your ass is an erogenous zone.

[Lace Neil Singer]

But where do you draw the line as regarding taking someone to court? Would you demand that someone be arrested for patting your butt or touching your face? I personally would not, but then I don't see the point of bursting a blood vessel over something so minor.

Also, would you see that a child is charged with sexual assault for touching another child inappropiately? Would you have that child dragged thru the courts and/or placed on the sex offenders register? I can't find the link, but I'm sure someone posted a story about a child being charged in that way for that reason.

[MaggieTheCat]

Well...back at my previous job, I was pretty close to everyone who worked in the same office as me. We'd all talk a lot about our lives outside of work, and occasionally get together outside of work. However, if anyone of them had touched my ass -- at or outside of work -- I would have a serious problem with that. I probably would not call it sexual assault immediately, but I would tell them never to do it again, and would probably report them to a manager/HR (if it was at work.) If it continued after that, and nothing was being done, I would probably go to the police and let them define it how they will. Keep in mind these are people who I was pretty close to -- I don't want anyone, friend or stranger, touching me anywhere down there (except the boyfriend. ) So I think it really depends on the person; if someone is okay with people, or at least friends, slapping their ass or whatever, then fine. But if someone isn't okay with it, they should be able to have that behavior stopped, no matter what the correct term for it is.

Just to throw another example out...my friend J (a female), who works in the call center at my old job, was listening in on another agent's calls one afternoon. The manager of the call center (another female) came up behind J and, out of the blue, started rubbing her shoulders and asking her how she was doing. J was freaked out -- everyone knows who the manager is, and has spoken to her a few times, but J and the manager were hardly "friends." I don't think that could be considered sexual assault, but I don't think it's appropriate either (and J sure didn't think it was.)

[Lace Neil Singer]

However, if anyone of them had touched my ass -- at or outside of work -- I would have a serious problem with that. I probably would not call it sexual assault immediately, but I would tell them never to do it again, and would probably report them to a manager/HR (if it was at work.) If it continued after that, and nothing was being done, I would probably go to the police and let them define it how they will.

This. I was trying to say that, and failing pretty much. I don't think that repeated behaviour of that type should be ignored, just that having someone arrested as a first reaction is a bit over the top. Like SCs who want people fired for telling them "no".

[Greenday]

As I've said, it's complete circumstantial. If a friend of mine slapped me on the ass, I'd laugh. But if I was walking into town with a friend and some random person ran by and slapped my ass, you damned better believe that'd be sexual assault. I slap people's asses. But I do it to friends I know that would laugh. There are times when slapping someone's ass is sexual assault and times where it's not. You can't just classify it as automatically sexual assault.

[AFPheonix]

I don't think anyone is saying that everytime someone pops you in the ass that it's assault, but it definitely can be considered assault depending on the situation.

[kibbles]

That again, I'd agree with.

Although I'm a little curious...what about trickery i.e. the person feels that they owe them something in return for getting a lift somewhere or helping them through a difficult time...what are your thoughts on that?

Hmmm..I feel if they uses personal threats to one's safety (or to their families) then yes that would be sexual assault; but, someone saying "if you'd love me you'd sleep with me, or it's no big deal" while it may be underhanded is in no way sexual assault.

[kibbles]

So do you also have a problem with the police/rest of the court system that follows through on it?

I'd have a real problem with the courts following through because a faux victim wanted their time in the spotlight. And that's what it would amount to for me.

[smileyeagle1021]

You know, the problem is you hear so many stupid stories (like the person is listed as a sexual predator for mooning someone) that it makes it hard to tell a real case when it does happen.

[Slytovhand]

I don't think anyone is saying that everytime someone pops you in the ass that it's assault, but

Well, wouldn't it depend on what's being popped into said ass??

I mean, if it's a 'cap in yo' ass'... then it'd be assault with a deadly weapon.

What if it's drugs being popped into the ass?? I'd assume that'd be trafficking, and not assault. (though, perhaps, ass-ault )

But if it's something else being popped into the ass.... well, now, that's a different story...

[kibbles]

Another example I've seen pop up quite often (in news stories especially) lately is people who were "used for sex"...more or less thought they were in a relationship but were just being used and then tries to put themselves out as sexual assault victims and tries to press charges.

Yes it sucks that you were used and it's not nice at all; but, a victim you are not.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Another example I've seen pop up quite often (in news stories especially) lately is people who were "used for sex"...more or less thought they were in a relationship but were just being used and then tries to put themselves out as sexual assault victims and tries to press charges.

Yes it sucks that you were used and it's not nice at all; but, a victim you are not.

Except, in so very many cases, of their own stupidity.

(Sometimes it really is a blind-side, but sometimes it was obvious)

[kibbles]

LOL!!! Well I will concede on that point, they are a victim of their own stupidity