Definition of Sexual Assault waaaaay too big

[AdminAssistant]

LOL!!! Well I will concede on that point, they are a victim of their own stupidity

Or of manipulation.

This has happened to me. Twice. I'm not stupid. Both times I was deceived. I don't consider it assault and I'm certainly not going to press any charges. But, please, I wasn't stupid. As soon as I realized that they saw me as nothing but a fuckbuddy, I left.

[kibbles]

ITA; but, like you said victim of manipulation doesn't make on a victim of sexual assault (something that some people seem to think, and when these people who try to press charges because of that should realize they are just sad pathetic people).

[AdminAssistant]

ITA; but, like you said victim of manipulation doesn't make on a victim of sexual assault (something that some people seem to think, and when these people who try to press charges because of that should realize they are just sad pathetic people).

I think it depends on the situation. In my situation, no, it wasn't sexual assault, it was emotional manipulation. I can see other situations falling into assault territory - date rape, for example. "But, baby, if you reeeeaaalllly loved me....."

[Flyndaran]

I think it depends on the situation. In my situation, no, it wasn't sexual assault, it was emotional manipulation. I can see other situations falling into assault territory - date rape, for example. "But, baby, if you reeeeaaalllly loved me....."

What does that last quote have to do with date rape? It seemed like a non sequitor.

[kibbles]

"But, baby, if you reeeeaaalllly loved me....."

That's not assault or rape and the people who press charges for that are the sad pathetic people I am talking about.

If that sentence is said and someone says no; but, is not listened to then yes absolutely that is assault. However, if the person than gives consent, that's it, consent has been given.

[AdminAssistant]

Okay, kibbles, let me give you a situation that happened to me.

16 years old. Dating a guy for 4 months. Making out on a bed, things start to happen, I get scared. He starts feeding me every single line you've ever heard of. Makes me feel guilty. Plus, at the time, I was all of 125 lbs with a 200 lb guy on top of me, sweet-talking me, finally..."Well, I'm not sure" and wham-bang, before I even realize what's happened.

I'm sorry, that was wrong. Yes, I still dated him, because I was 16 and a complete farking idiot who thought that he was the best I could possibly do and good little girls make their boyfriends happy even though it hurts sometimes. My poor next boyfriend...it took a lot of time before I could trust someone again.

No, I didn't press any charges, but I could've. And I don't think it would've made me 'sad' or 'pathetic'. What he did to me was wrong, and yet is increasingly acceptable.

[kibbles]

But if someone gives in and gives consent (or consent is implied by both parties from actions) even if someone fed them lines or made them feel guilty, then yes consent is given and that's that. These people who then try to claim sexual assault are indeed sad and pathetic excuses.

[Flyndaran]

...
No, I didn't press any charges, but I could've. And I don't think it would've made me 'sad' or 'pathetic'. What he did to me was wrong, and yet is increasingly acceptable.

You never said, "No.", so if I were on a jury I would probably vote not guilty.
You seem to also blame him for being bigger than you, which seems rather silly.

[anriana]

Okay, kibbles, let me give you a situation that happened to me.

16 years old. Dating a guy for 4 months. Making out on a bed, things start to happen, I get scared. He starts feeding me every single line you've ever heard of. Makes me feel guilty. Plus, at the time, I was all of 125 lbs with a 200 lb guy on top of me, sweet-talking me, finally..."Well, I'm not sure" and wham-bang, before I even realize what's happened.

I'm sorry, that was wrong. Yes, I still dated him, because I was 16 and a complete farking idiot who thought that he was the best I could possibly do and good little girls make their boyfriends happy even though it hurts sometimes. My poor next boyfriend...it took a lot of time before I could trust someone again.

No, I didn't press any charges, but I could've. And I don't think it would've made me 'sad' or 'pathetic'. What he did to me was wrong, and yet is increasingly acceptable.

What would you have wanted him charged with? Statutory (assuming an age difference)? Being an asshole? Emotional manipulation?

I'm not trying to be facetious or unsympathetic towards you. It sounds like a shitty situation, I agree that it was wrong, but I don't see what is illegal or should be illegal here.

[Nyoibo]

"well I'm not sure" is not consent, in fact it's pretty close to a no, so until yes is said there is no consent given, and therefor rape.

[Flyndaran]

"well I'm not sure" is not consent, in fact it's pretty close to a no, so until yes is said there is no consent given, and therefor rape.

No means no, yes means yes, and I'm not sure means I'm nor sure.
If she eventually participates then anyone would assume she was convinced to a yes.

[Boozy]

Consent is presumed in certain instances unless a woman says no. My husband doesn't stop halfway through foreplay to ask if he can continue. It's presumed that he can unless I ask him to stop.