is being gay a choice?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Mysty, what don't you get about bi's?

It's hard to describe, honestly. It's probably just because it's so exactly the opposite of what I feel. Everything vs. nothing kind of thing. Like I said, I don't think about it too much because I don't really care what sex people do as long as it's all legal and adult. It's just baffling. Especially when it's like ANYONE could do it for someone. (Which is I know probably more like pansexual than bisexual, I do admit to difficulty with the difference between the two.)

It's just ignorance, really. I just plain don't understand it. But it doesn't bother me, heh.

[anriana]

Bi people can choose if they want to date someone of the same or opposite sex.

(Now, bis and pans, I still haven't figured out how those work, but then again, I haven't been able to solve the question of how my cat always knows what time I'm coming home, either, so I just recite my version of the MST3K mantra and go about my day.)

First you said you like looking at pretty boys and girls, then you said you don't understand bisexuals? What?

[BroomJockey]

First you said you like looking at pretty boys and girls, then you said you don't understand bisexuals? What?

You are aware that it's possible to acknowledge something looks nice without wanting to hump it, right?

[Lachrymose]

You are aware that it's possible to acknowledge something looks nice without wanting to hump it, right?

Wha????

*Puts away pretty, frilly pillow*

[Rapscallion]

Bi people can choose if they want to date someone of the same or opposite sex.

Twice the chance of relationships, twice the chance of being turned down. Saw that quoted in a magazine once.

Rapscallion

[Nyoibo]

Twice the chance of relationships, twice the chance of being turned down. Saw that quoted in a magazine once.

Rapscallion

Yeah, it's just a way to be ignored by both genders.

[Flyndaran]

NO, not true at all... it's totally your 'fault'. We are 100% responsible for all of our actions - thoughts, words, deeds.
...
Now... this isn't likely to happen. BUT... if you're a soul, with a completely different set of priorities and you've got a purpose by doing all of this.... So, yes, you'd even give a shot at having anxiety... and schizophrenia, and being gay or bi or lesbian or asexual or deaf or... yeah.. you get what I'm saying...
...

Nope, still silly and insulting. Souls forget everything, except when they remember, and they get to do things that are completely impossible. Nope, still silly and insulting.
The concept of a soul is radical enough, when you bring in other impossibilities, then my mind just rejects it all. Just like in books and movies, I can only temporarily believe one impossible thing at a time.
Whatever mental gymnastics you play at, it still comes down to blaming me for my problems... no I reject that.

[Slytovhand]

Firstly, Flyn, I'd suggest it's only 'insulting' from an ego-centric point of view. Granted, I'll never convince you of there being a soul, or spirit or anything else of the sorts.

But, one thing I haven't made clear, is that the 'soul' is still different to the 'personality' or the 'ego'.. so, the soul remembers (it remembers it all) but to actually, really and truly experience something, you need to forget any reference points. What's it like to fly like a bird?? Well, if you could learn to shapeshift, would you know?? Well, no. You'd know what it's like for a human to pretend to be a bird... to be a bird, you must have no concept of what it's like to be anything else... now, if you could tap into its mind, then you'd get an idea. Similarly, for a soul to know what it's like to be a human, it's got to feel things, experience things, without any pre-conceived ideas or references... which is why you 'forget' stuff.

Btw - none of this is 'impossible'... you just don't see how it works... along with many many other things in this universe. There's not any more than 1 impossible thing here anyway... it's only a different form of universal structure than what you're used to dealing with, tis all.

Tell me then - or yourself...if this was all a learning experience, and (if you just pretend) that any issues you have are purely seen and experienced with that in mind.. how would it change your perception of them? Just as a thought experiment....

And I 'blame' your soul....

[anriana]

You are aware that it's possible to acknowledge something looks nice without wanting to hump it, right?

Her whole sexuality seems to be based on thinking people look pretty and maybe hugging them, so that doesn't quite apply here.

[BroomJockey]

Her whole sexuality seems to be based on thinking people look pretty and maybe hugging them, so that doesn't quite apply here.

Err, yeah. It does. Since it seems to be equivalent to my thinking a guy might look nice, but I'd not wanna sleep with him. Mysty's just taken it to both genders.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Err, yeah. It does. Since it seems to be equivalent to my thinking a guy might look nice, but I'd not wanna sleep with him. Mysty's just taken it to both genders.

I'm a bi-hugger?

Seriously, I've only ever given actual sexual thought to one guy, and he's a world-famous pro wrestler who can pretty well hand-pick any guy/girl/whatever he wants anywhere so it's most likely not happening EVAH. And even at that, those thoughts lasted about three days and ended with "Uhhh...maybe, maybe not." I still go back and forth on it, but only considering him, not anyone else, because he's apparently the only person I've ever been "that" attracted to. (And frankly, if we're being psychologically honest, I'm not sure how much of this supposed attraction couldn't be written off to hero worship or wish fulfillment.)

I like the notion of being with someone, having a relationship, living together and doing things together and things like that. But so far as thinking of the physical stuff, it gets as far as cuddling and maybe, MAYBE, if I'm in a particularly open state of mind, kissing. Beyond that, my squick factor goes up to about 10. Even the thought of open-mouth kissing can make me retch if taken too far.

So at that, me finding it so icky, the thought that someone else can find it attractive in several different ways is baffling. I understand that it's because they don't like or dislike the same things I do, but I can't understand WHY they like it. Like if you hate the taste of coffee and you can't understand how anyone could like the taste. You know that they do, but you don't know why. Maybe I'm leaning too hard on philosophical with it. I know they do, I accept they do, but I don't get WHY they do.

[Flyndaran]

Sounds asexual more than hetero, bi, or gay. As long as it isn't due to an underlying medical problem then it isn't a problem. Though I have trouble imagining not every having the wonderful love I have for my life-mate Tonya.

I find it fascinating to lack such an innate human emotion. I guess it's like my born atheism.

Firstly, Flyn, I'd suggest it's only 'insulting' from an ego-centric point of view. Granted, I'll never convince you of there being a soul, or spirit or anything else of the sorts.

But life is innately ego-centric. We have to be. All our knowledge comes from our own experiences. We can't get information any other way. Denying that seems far more alien and self-destructive than nearly every other religious concept I've heard.

But, one thing I haven't made clear, is that the 'soul' is still different to the 'personality' or the 'ego'.. so, the soul remembers (it remembers it all) ... Similarly, for a soul to know what it's like to be a human, it's got to feel things, experience things, without any pre-conceived ideas or references... which is why you 'forget' stuff.

You remember everything, but forget it. You don't see why I call nonsense on that inconsistent belif?

Btw - none of this is 'impossible'... you just don't see how it works... along with many many other things in this universe. There's not any more than 1 impossible thing here anyway... it's only a different form of universal structure than what you're used to dealing with, tis all.

It requires energy, data, and forces never once proven to exist. It requires magic to work. I can't believe in magic.

Tell me then - or yourself...if this was all a learning experience, and (if you just pretend) that any issues you have are purely seen and experienced with that in mind.. how would it change your perception of them? Just as a thought experiment....

And I 'blame' your soul....

I normally like thought experiments. But I can't get past the logcially impossible. It's like asking what a square circle looks like. Answer; nonsense...rephrase please.

All that exists of me is my mind as a semi-illusion of my brain. That's it. Thinkiny anything else is potentially dangerous wishful thinking.

Though we should probably create a new thread to discuss this.

[BroomJockey]

It requires energy, data, and forces never once proven to exist. It requires magic to work. I can't believe in magic.

Yet. Never once proven YET to exist. You forget that at one point, disease was caused by magic, since we couldn't prove the existence of tiny organisms. You keep acting as if it's impossible to discover new things. I think it makes for a very small world to think we've already discovered everything.

[Flyndaran]

Yet. Never once proven YET to exist. You forget that at one point, disease was caused by magic, since we couldn't prove the existence of tiny organisms. You keep acting as if it's impossible to discover new things. I think it makes for a very small world to think we've already discovered everything.

Not everything is possible. Some things have been adequately disproven. Just because we live in a time in which scientific study has discovered a layer of basic reality, does not mean that "we have discovered everything." No one has said that.

[BroomJockey]

does not mean that "we have discovered everything." No one has said that.

You have strongly implied it, but not said it flat out ever, that's true. But every time you write something off as requiring "magic," you imply that there is no possible natural or technological way to accomplish or explain something. Ever heard the saying "Any technology, sufficiently advanced, is indistinguishable from magic"? Again, you are free to disbelieve that something is possible, or you can believe it's "magic," or what have you, but as someone who claims to value rationality (you are a born atheist, lacking faith on a genetic level) every time you write something off in such a fashion shows you to be as narrow-minded and moribund as the clergy of the Church in the Dark Ages.